Friday, 7 January 2000
Wednesday, 5 January 2000
"HELLO! "WHO'S HE?"
The first time I met him was when I walked into work and even though our eyes didn’t meet, something had told me how was this tall, dark hair, mysterious stranger was going to start something off in my crazy life? But how! All I do know was when I had walked into work that day and noticed this guy, leaning against a table with his arms folded looking like he was in a world of his own, while Deek, who was the Manager was at the till.
Who I secretly thought a times, that he looked a bit like that Actor, Ardal O' Halon, when he only played the character of Father Dougal McGuire from that old hit, comedy series of Father Ted, but who was slightly shorter, with brownish hair, showing some pozy, tall, but ever so plain, lanky girl something on the till, while I still couldn't help myself, from noticing that guy, from the corner of my eye, that was learning against that big table, near to the entrance and wondering, oh, he seems really nice to myself.
But saying that, well, only time will tell! Oh yes! Only, time will tell, if that guy was going to be nice or not! As for myself well, being a shy person as I am, wouldn't have thought for one moment then, that anyone like him, would bring my shyness above the surface, like I was when I was must younger. Because of wondering when I looked at him, he's nice! But, still who couldn’t seem to bring myself to go up to them, let alone speak to them.
Though, while coming back out from where I had got myself already for my shift, was told by our Deputy Manager, "that we’ve now have two new people starting today," "the one, he replied, "is with Deek, is called Liz, and the other, is Matt." For whom, must have been him, that I noticed just leaning against that table, with arms still folded and looking slightly down, because as there weren't anyone else around, when I came wondering back out, from our staff-room with Fazz, who was that Deputy Manager, back then!
Only, if you must know seeing him as I did, had told yours truly, not to look at him even after I went up to this new girl Liz, so that I could introduce myself to her, just still couldn’t exactly look up at him. Not to mention, as I was walking past him so I could make way towards the fitting-rooms, had still told myself not to turn and look at this guy. But who which, had definitely brought a slight smile upon this girls face for sure while I was hiding myself around the corner of the fitting-room.
As it was only then, that I decided to look at him, because of knowing no one could see me! Which once again, that was how I met this so-called mysterious, slightly gorgeous and sexy guy, who I had wondered even after knowing he was going to be a member of us, that was he going to start something off in my so-called crazy life? Because, for one! It was him that truly brought this girls smile right back upon her face, since her own Manager had got stitch up, right good and proper, by those that was in-change above of the place. Total Barstards!
Which of course had meant, it was only him, that each time had made me laugh and smile at the same time, but who I didn’t realise had also ended up falling, madly in love with him. And even though, we did seem to get along like just good friends do, from when he started, had didn't take that long to realise that they were now starting to be a bit funny with me, as in not like, ha-ha! But, how they were now all seem to be joining in together-like, as like a bunch of flaming idiots to try to make it harder for me for not being a friend with Matt.
Especially, shortly after Fazz had decided to leave us, because of making me wonder that maybe, it was for the best, that me and Matt was not friend’s. Not because I wanted to! No! But, how they truly made it harder for me to continue of trying to be a really good friend with him. Only, all this as I said, didn’t really happen until, Fazz had decided to leave because what I can vaguely remember was just before he had, well what I noticed was Matt did still showed signs of his funny sense of humour around me. Which I liked a lot!
Which I've got to admit, was nice to see, as well as, he seemed to act like he really cared of what I thought of him for maybe, wanting to go for Fazzs' job, a Deputy Manager job! Because, all he kept on saying was, “would you mind so much Sandy, if I went for Fazzs' job?" Over and over again!
And even though, that was then, and this is now, sixteen years on, since Matt had left our work. Well, as for myself, it's been really more like fifteen years on, since those feelings of mine for Matt had started to experience. Because as this was around the time, we all had been made redundant in January 2012. And I can definitely say that, that experience of my feelings over Matt, as still not changed one bit!
Probably even more so now, then ever before, because what I liked about him in the first place, was how he had first acted all stupid-like, while he was around me, then, it was around the others! As well as, making me thinking to myself, he could have been slightly shy. But sadly again for me, at the same time, how he had always singled me out as well as, no matter how he treated me at times, just still couldn’t help myself from liking him even more then ever, because of those times that he really made me laugh, which was really nice for me to see!
CHASING MATT AROUND TO JUST TRY
AND GET MY BOOK BACK
For example, by how he got hold of my book this one time and kept making this girl chasing him, all around work while it was mostly quiet, thank god! Only, what happened shortly was, he went into the back with me following him, of course, because of my book, but who couldn't get to him, as he ran straight into the Managers office, which was like a very a small room, next door to the staff-room and slammed the door on me. Making yours truly to keep running up to door, like an idiot, banging on it, in for hoping it would open!
But, even though I couldn't, each time I ran back and forth, towards the door that I just first of all, couldn't let the door to budge slightly, as well as secondly, something was just telling this girl that why, I'm I enjoying myself? Hey! Just why? Maybe! Just maybe, it was hearing Matt laughing from the other side of the door, which I thought, I think I bloody loved this a little more then, chasing him around the shop, because he got hold of my small writing book that was like a diary, which had my thoughts about him inside!
As well as, it could have been him, from knowing that I was really trying so hard to push that dam door open, with my elbow, over and over again-like! But, who luckily for me, had an idea, course of half way of just trying to reopen this door, that I wouldn't be at all surprised Matt had held on from the other side, the great big twit, as I thought! But, who I couldn't help myself for liking it!
Course, who at first, this girl while was still on the floor laughing, along with him, which I did imagined, thought to herself I'll give it one more bash, in trying to open this sodden dam stupid door, because I really didn't want him to see what was in my book, that's if he was going to do! So, as I got up, off the floor slowly, pretending I've had enough of doing this, this girl yet again, whammed her left elbow for the very last time, towards the office door. Only, once again this door wouldn't want to budge, which boy! Did I felt my elbow!
So, as this girl, Sandy had an idea, which was to make out that I've had enough, by pretending to go back out! Course, of wanting to see if Matt might actually give in, in reopen this stupid door! So, I can suddenly give one more best shot, in doing it again and see just what may happen, after hopefully trick Matt by doing this!
Which, to my surprise, had saw that I had finally exceed to open this door, from the office. But, only, boy! Did this surprise Matt, course of the way he jolted aback a little, by looking a little surprised by how I did open that door. Only, while I did, boy, all I could do was look straight into those big dreamy, sexy brown eyes of his and not anything else, that was around in the office, in the dark!
Which, as you know, was so nice for me, because of just glazing into those deepest, dark brown eyes of his, while I suddenly opened the door slightly, where he backed away just a bit, in the office that lights was not on. As he probably didn't think to switch on the light, as well as, he didn't expect me to open it right there and then! But, for me, it was truly the most nicest moment that I will ever remember from that time!
As well as, just waiting for me to either going in the shoe stock-room, to try and get a customer shoe box, while I was up the ladder, near to the door, but which he probably knew that I couldn't be looking, quietly put his hand through the door to keep switching the light on and then off! Which personally, thinking about that had thought, you bugger you! But, which I really liked!
Or even, a time that just before I came out to start, Matt would go and hide himself in one of the changing-rooms so that whenever I would come out and then, would have gone straight into the fitting-room, as usual, to sort them out, surprised me when it came to me of reopening this certain curtain that I thought, some customer had left down! But which, Matt was hiding himself in and I do mean, hiding in, to surprise your truly, when he probably heard me slowly coming toward that cubicle. As I think he knew of how I would react too when I had came to opening that curtain that he was hiding in!
I mean, it was when I suddenly saw that there, right in front of me was Matt standing with a huge big grin upon his face, looking straight directly at me with those deep, gorgeous big brown eyes, as well as, noticing he was giving this girl one hell of a dreamy, sexy smile. Which, what happened was, I simply ran away from him, leaving him to have a little laugh to himself.
Not forgetting, there were those other times, while I was always trying to sort out the men’s jeans into size order, that he would simply come up and knock them all down, followed by one of his silly little laughs! Which, even that, had done a little something to me, because of how Matt had put me in my place! Meaning, of how I would blush just slightly but, who had tried to hide from Matt.
TRAPPED IN THE SHOE-STOCK ROOM
WITH MATT SITTING BETWEEN THE DOOR
Then, of course, there was the time when Matt had quietly walked into the back, while I was in the shoe shock-room with one of the other girl’s, sorting most of the shoe boxes out or should that be, while we were trying two! Because, while we were trying two, well, after hearing the door from the back open, but just didn't bother to really think of whom that could have been, because of what we were doing, well, shortly after, I heard a chair move from the staff-room, to the door of the shoe stock-room.
As, this was Matt, placing this dam chair right in front of the door-way from the shoe stock- room, trapping both of us in and not letting us out. Although, that wasn’t entirely true, because shortly after, he had, he only allowed Abby to get out from there and continue with her work, while at the same time, he just wouldn't with me out. Course, of replacing that dam chair back in the middle of the shoe stock-room, trapping yours truly, by sitting back down onto the chair, with a huge smile upon his face, which this girl, couldn't look at!
WHAT IS MATT DOING WITH BOTH HIS LEGS UP?
WHAT IS MATT DOING WITH BOTH HIS LEGS UP?
AND PUTTING BOTH HIS ARMS AT
AND PUTTING BOTH HIS ARMS AT
THE BACK OF HIS HEAD SMILING?
THE BACK OF HIS HEAD SMILING?
Not forgetting, there was even a time while I was working that Matt called me in the back for something, only after wondering in the back, I not only saw Matt was sitting down in the staff room, but sitting down with both legs right up onto the other chair, smiling away to me, which always got to me in the nicest possible way! Because at first, this did make me feel like he was trying to indicate something else, which I could have been wrong! But, by god! it really did!
For it was the way he was simply making me feel all going shy-like while wondering in the staff-room properly seeing both of his arms stretched out, at the back of his head like he was relaxing, while still smiling at me with that mystifying look in his eyes! But who did made out to yours truly if you want to sit down on my lap? Because of how he had got both of his legs still on that other chair!
But unfortunately for me, what I couldn't forget was no soon then I thought he was making me feeling like this, while I was in with him, as well as, just as I had to dash straight out of the staff-room that his reaction towards me had turn into Mr Hyde, who as you know, from the character, in the novels or films that they were a horrible piece of work, to everyone that would come across them. Only once again, Matt only acted like this, towards me then he was with the others from work.
Maybe, it was those other complete Barstards from work that had decided to play with my emotions so I wouldn’t know whether I was coming or going of how I was now starting to feel around Matt! Which, I’ve got to say was so, ghastly for anyone to do to someone like myself. But, Matt didn't help either, which if it won't for my feelings for him, would also, call the guy, a flaming Barstard or you Prick!
Especially, as I was sure Matt must have known somehow, that I was not being my usual self around them, but my old and true self, which was being really shy. The only thing was, I had no idea of why Matt was being like this towards me! Because, one minute, Matt would act all nice, by making this girl laugh, by acting all silly-like, then, the next, his behaviour would suddenly change, like someone that no one would really want to know. As, that's how ghastly he was, when this un-sudden behaviour had appeared!
Which, most of those times was actually while he was in changed and working along side with that bloody, snobby-bitch aka big Liz, as she was known to me, but which I thought was entitled to a few more names, because of how she had always made me feel, while hanging around Matt! Though, there was another good reason of why I didn’t really want to be around Matt, if I knew Matt was going to be in charge with that oh so pozy, but lanky, hideous, gruesome, aka big Liz! And that was, because whenever they would work together well they would always reminded me of all those awful bad times that I had of being badly bullied by those nasty bullies from schools those many, many years ago!
THE TIME THAT MATT WAS STANDING THERE
ONLY, HOW DID HE KNOW, I WAS JUST AROUND?
Though, on this one occasion while I had this day off, had saw Matt while coming out from the ladies toilets at the Kingfisher Centre, leaning against the wall, that was opposite, looking slightly down at the floor, then who slowly glanced back up where I wondered how did Matt know I was around here, at that precise moment? As well as, why else, was he just hanging around here, doing absolutely nothing, but looking down then who slowly looked back up as I came out from where I had been? Because for me this had felt he somehow knew I was around there, waiting for me to come out from where I had been!
Anyway, no sooner then he saw me, then he slowly approach to ask me, “are you doing anything important Sandy?" Which, to be perfectly frank, had got a little confused to where this was going, until, he asked another question. Which was asking me, “could you possibly come into work to help us out for a few hours?" Which, I thought, oh, Matt! I would do anything for you, but, not for work!
Because, there was something about Matt that made this girl feel like she was going into a little world of her own or going onto cloud nine! Even though, how I told him, “I’m doing something Matt, so I’m sorry I can’t help you." This guy had always somehow, sent me in a trance, just by glancing deeper and deeper into his lovely deepest, dark mesmerising brown eyes, whenever he also smiled at me, which I never refuse! So, while walking along with Matt toward work, with a little smile upon my face, thinking at the time, that this was so nice of walking along side by side, with you, Matt, because, of thinking, it was going to be a fine day, when I got in! But was I wrong in thinking that!
Course, after asking Matt, “where these jeans had to go?" Course, of it being a new item, that must have come, while I wasn't there, not only gave this girl such a strange look, but which had shouted from the back of the shop, while he was around that flaming Bitch, aka big Liz, whom really had a bloody nose. She was like one of those toffee-nose sobs that thought, they knew everything then anyone else! Not only shouted, “my god! “What do you mean, you don’t know where those jeans go?" But while he made yours truly, look ever so stupid, added, by crying out loud, “how long have you been working here Sandy?" "Hey! "Just how long?"
Then, what’s more, what the guy had surprisingly said to me next, I could say, had truly hurt my feelings so deeply, because of what he said was, “do you know what, each day, I can’t wait for it to be over, because of how you always frustrate me so." Then, after asking him, “well do you want me to leave then?" Turned suddenly, to that repulsive big Liz again, then, who turned back to me and said right in my face this time, “oh! “why don’t you go away." "As I can't stand of seeing you Sandy!
Which, what shocked me even more so was after Matt had truly yelled out that at me, he simply shouted, “because I can’t stand the sight of you! Which, coming from him, personally had once again, truly hurt my feelings so deeply then, anyone could imagine! But, what was so worse was, it came out of Matts mouth, who I had simply thought, before of going into work, oh! Matt, I'll do absolutely anything for you, just anything! Then, helping work, but why did you have to turn into Mr Hyde right now? Course, of simply carrying on by saying, "why, don't you get out of my face, as I can't stand the sight of you!
Which, at first, didn't really understand of why he would say anything like that to me, since it was him that had asked me to come in, in the first place. Because of the way I was now starting to feel but, just didn’t want to show it, stopped myself of feeling that I could have cried, right there and then, in front of him. That Barstard! As, he wanted to act then, to show off in front of her. But once again, because I had tried to stop myself from crying in from of him more, well it didn't help one bit! Because, shortly after, Matt had said all that, he left me totally speechless! Course, oh boy! As I didn’t truly expect anything like that to come from him, especially as I came in, on that day for just Matt and not for helping out.
Because of just noticing Matt was leaning on that wall, opposite the ladies toilets, on my day off and asking me nicely, with that gorgeous look, "if I would kindly help them, at work?" Especially, as I thought then, that after he asked me as he did, to come in, thought, that this was going to be a nice day for me. But lets just say, if I knew what was going to happen shortly after we got in, for the way Matt had spoken to me, probably would not have gone in! Course, I only gone into work on my day off because of Matt and not because of work that needed some help!
Only, what I truly didn’t expect to happen was, while I was walking away from both of them, tears was starting to flood down upon my face, and only tears, as I did not seem to be crying properly. As it just seemed to be tears running down my face while I went so near to the front of the shop. After I walked away from them, by still trying to do my work of sorting some clothes out, still tried so hard in not allowing any one of our customer could see me, how deeply Matt had hurt my feelings by hiding my tears. By frankly, how and what he said to me, while just standing so close to a clothes-stand! Noticed some customer had saw me, as I slowly glanced up and looked at them and for them looking back at me made out that they were trying to say, what's wrong with you?
Only, what was more worst, while noticing this customer that was on the way out, saw that flaming, repulsive, vile snobby-cow aka big Liz had also seem to be looking me. As I noticed from the corner of my eye, as she seemed to be hanging around the till, doing something! Or was she? Course, what was going through my mind was, could she possibly have been there to get back to Matt, to tell him what was going on? Course, no sooner then I noticed her, she had rush straight back to Matt!
Which, I did thought I was safe for a brief moment until, Matt had suddenly reappeared in front of me, with that lovely look upon his face to say to me, "now, what’s wrong with you Sandy?" Which, I had thought, as if you didn’t know what was wrong with me Matt? But instead, of telling him the truth, I told Matt, “I’ve got a headache," "a terrible headache! Which, I was sure that while I was telling him this, that he possibly knew in some way, he didn't believe!
Because I wasn’t telling him the truth! So, as I was waiting for some sarcastic comment from him, all that Matt had then said was, “go in the back then.” Which, after coming straight back out had noticed Matt was looking directly at me with that look again. Which, did puzzled me, as I wasn't so sure what to make of that look he was giving me. Was it a nice look? Or simply a look, that was trying to tell this girl, "oh grow-up girl?
THE FIRST TIME MATT ACTED LIKE MR. HYDE!
FROM "DR JYKLE AND MR HYD,"
Though, that wasn’t the first time Matt had truly acted hastily towards me, because the first time that I can ever remember, was shortly after he and that bloody cow aka big Liz was when they started to work for us. Or should that be slightly before, their first Christmas with us. Which I think was around October or November of 2005. There again, it could have been in the year of 2006, that Matt had decided to be absolutely horid to me on that day, by saying over and over, “oh, I love blondes, I do" "and pretty ones.”
Which, after he turn to me, he more then less ended up saying, “well, you don’t think I was talking about you, did you?" Which, to be perfectly frank, honest didn’t know of why he was saying all that to me, course, firstly, of being a brunette. Then secondly, how I already knew full well that Matt had liked blondes in the first place. Because as it was coming up to Christmas, most of the other staff had really wanted to know of how we were going to celebrate our Christmas!
So, after suggesting of having a Christmas party, including a meal, well after Matt had popped out of his way to get a menu for us, he not only came wondering back, by first, throwing, what looked-like a white Sports Band towards me. Course, earlier that day I told Deek that I didn't feel quite like a member of the Staff. Which besides himself, Matt had only really brought one other Sports Band for myself! Which, till this day on has still treasure it, course it was from him personally! Sounds silly, but, really that's what I've did, I had kept that White Sports Band in a safe place, because truly, it was from Matt!
Anyway, getting back to eventually asking each of us to come in the back to tell him of
what we wanted from the menu, well when it came to my turn of going into the staff-room with him. Well before getting interrupted by one of the Christmas temps, Mia, who I saw peeping through the door thought, I heard Matt say something so nice to me. But
Butagain sadly as I looked up, suddenly saw that it wasn’t me that Matt was saying all those nice things, but to Mia!
And yes! That was when I found out Matt must have really liked blondes and pretty ones, because Mia was not only blonde, but who was pretty as well! But getting back to what Matt had said all those things to me, shortly after seeing everyone about what they wanted. Because whether he knew it or not, even though I knew it, there was still no need for him to be that nasty!
Especially, when he ended up by saying, “well you didn’t think I was talking about you?" "Did you?" "Hey! Though, the only thing was, whenever Matt was always like this to me, well no matter how he was, I still couldn’t fight back. Or even have a right go at him, like I probably would have, if it was anyone else, from work! Which, I know I should have done, but really at the time, couldn’t when it came to Matt.
Because whenever I saw him around, well it was like Matt had always seemed to have done something to this girl, even though at times, Matt was mostly swearing to my face, by just saying, "fuck off," over and over again, plus that angry look in his eyes! As if to say, "I can't stand you! Making me feel though, why couldn't I do a dam thing right with you Matt! And yes! At times, I did thought, why is that bloody idiot, treating me in this way, just why? And why only me?
Course, of imaging, what would it have been liked if you had acted like a nicer person towards me, then you are? As for imagining now, well, would I want to meet Matt yet again, after all these years, if someone asked me? Well, would I? The answer to that is, "I don’t know! Course, of how he acted most of the times towards me, aka Sandy, way back then, like acting more like Mr Hyde then, rather such a nice guy, as I once thought he was, but who was only nicer to the others!
So, my answer again to that is, "there is no way, I could not see that from happening! "Just no way! Course, of knowing how Matt was, with only me! Only, my god! Was I so bad, to get along with? Course, I've always got along with guys, then girls, in my past, even way before Matt wondered into my work, I always seemed to get along with them! So, it must have been Matt, either dislike me or hate me! That total Barstard!
So, even though I had thought I knew of why I couldn’t, is that I felt I couldn't do anything right when it came to Matt. But there again, this was only that I was trying not to admit it to myself that the truth behind of it was, deep down it was my feelings for him! Oh yes! It was differently my feelings, alright! As, there was just something about Matt now, that I honestly felt I loved! And yes! It was probably from the moment I first clapped eyes on him, leaning against that big table, with his arms folded and looking like he was in a little world of his own, near to the entrance of our shop. As I wondered in that day, thinking to myself why, he looks-like he was slightly shy! Which, oh boy! All that had came to my mind was, a huge Aww!
Because it was for every time that I saw Matt smiling at me, that while he may have thought, I wasn’t trying to look at him! Well boy! Did I? Course, of not wanting to admit it, had left this girl thinking, secretly, to herself, oh, Matt! Matt! Matt! If only you would embrace me so! Because, it was the way he simply made this girl feel at times, whenever I saw that smile. But that didn't stop me of dreaming of that. No! As I really imagined, what if you really would take me in your arms, as I would really don’t think I would ever want to let you go!
Though, whether it was good times or bad, whenever it came to Matt, I had always thought the world of him! Even though, I knew he didn’t like me, I meant every word, of what I thought of him! And if that meant telling myself that I do dream of him, of wondering what if only Matt could just take me in his arms and whisper sweet nothings, in my ear. Not forgetting, imagining, embracing me! Which, vice a versa.
But also dreaming, I wouldn't be at all surprised that this girl, would even dare herself to give this guy a real kiss on his tender red lips, then his cheek. Which, sounds silly, but course, I've never been kiss romantically by anyone. As, it was only him, that I always dreamt of doing that to! And no one else! Oh yes! It was only Matt! But course, Matt had showed his true colours back then, well, this girl was not like some girls those days. Which who just wanted to know a guy, for just sex!
Anyway, once again there was another time that Matt had acted so ghastly to me, while Deek was off. And as usual, it was mostly when that snobby-nose bitch, or cow, aka big Liz was always there! Who really, by the way, I speak of her, couldn't stand the sight of her! Because, she had so reminded me of one those awful snobby kids, while I was still at school, that thought, they were really better then the rest!
So, whenever they were hanging around together, doing something, well it had always seemed they had pretty much wanted to make my day so miserable. By picking on me until, they both thought, that they had enough! So, while they were always working together-like, well they were more acting like bullies! unfortunately, this time they had seemed to be playing with my emotions so I wouldn’t know whether I was coming or going!
THE DAY'S, THAT I DREADED OF
COMING INTO WORK!
Now, as you know, I always dreaded of when Deek had took time off, because of knowing full well of what each day may bring. Because of knowing what Matt and big Liz, that snobby-nose bitch, had both wanted to play with my feeling! As well as, seeing how far they could possibly take it. Which half of the time, I’m sure they knew, by how I acting! And secondly, of what happened shortly after they both decided to stop, so they could see while I was trying to carry on with my work.
But after seeing Matt standing near to the front of the shop looking like he could have not been feeling to good, felt like that I wanted to cheer him up! But what I had thought was a nice gesture to cheer him up, had turned horribly wrong for me! Because after thinking Matt would take this as a nice compliment, well Matt just flipped out at me! Leaving me feeling like I could have cried at the spot! But as I stopped myself from crying, didn't mean, to say he hadn't hurt my feelings!
Only, why should I felt like that, where all I did was write how I thought I liked him! Even maybe possible added, I think I love you, in a nice way though, to just try and cheer him up! Which, I know I shouldn’t have done, because that flaming big idiot, aka Matt didn't take that as a nice compliment. But who twisted it around to try to say that I was harassing him! Again, Matt acted like a Barstard! Because if that was anyone else, well they would have taken that, as a really, lovely compliment-like!
But, once again, did Matt find that a very nice compliment from me? Well did he? Well, no he flaming didn't! As he really acted like a complete prick! And that's no mistake! Me! harassing him, who I always thought the world of! And who I couldn’t hurt his feelings, even if I wanted to! Had certainly made out in front of my face, "just wait till Deek gets back tomorrow? "As you can't harass me!
Anyway, as he tried to make out that I was really harassing him with some help from his best friend and colleague, big Liz, the right snobby-cow, as she truly was in my eyes, because of the way she looked! And boy! I do mean, the way she looked to me which repulsive, ugly and so vile! As I couldn't help myself thinking whenever seeing her around Matt, you are a total bitch! And that’s no mistake! As she really was a bitch, because of how I didn’t always have a leg to stand on when it came to them both working together!
But like I said, if that was anyone else, then what I written for Matt, would certainly take that, of a nice compliment. Then, rather what he more then less had done, while being with her! And, after he mention that, “just wait till Deek comes back tomorrow.” Well, could say had freak me out! Even trying to reason with him, didn’t help one bit, course, I ended up pretty much in tears, especially after leaving work. Which Matt must have known what was going on while noticing me going straight into see my friends, in Wacky’s crying!
Now, as for the following day, as I knew what was coming went before going into work, I had went into the small coffee shop called Costas that was around the corner of work, to prepare myself of what was going to come! But what I didn’t get was, just as I was on my way there, well I had caught a slight glimpse of both Matt and Deek peering around the corner of the front entrance, to our shop, grinning like you would not believe!
Only, after sometime, while I was starting to go for my NVQ in Retail, the person that was helping me for this, had told them, of how Matt acted after what I did! Which their immediate reaction was anger, or to be precise, livid! Because of what they said to me was, “my god! “Do you mean to say, they are trying to say you were harassing Matt because of what you written for him?" Which once again, if that was anyone else, would have taken that as a nice compliment! Not flaming well, twisted it around, so it would look-like they've been harass instead!
GUESS WHO'S BEHIND YOU SANDY?
Now, as for when another Christmas was drawing more upon us, well something unusual happened which was not only a little odd, but who I thought, what the hell, was going on here? And I couldn’t say that it involved Matt, because he weren’t there at that precise time, because, of having two weeks off! Which again, brings me back to what happened that seemed a little to strange!
Because what happened was, just minute’s after seeing Deek giving me the most biggest grin, while talking to Lynette from Wacky’s, he had then came wondering back over to where big Liz was and said quietly, but which I couldn't help of over-hearing him say just slightly, “we have got to get Matt and Sandy together?"
Anyway, when it came to Matt's second week off, well, brother! What happened was, who should be wondering into work, while Deek was giving me a hand with some of the jeans on one of the tables, that was closer to the entrance? As well as, who was walking so quietly, that I didn’t hear them, walking behind me? But Matt and Ben! Oh yes! It was both Matt and Ben! Course, as they came wondering in as they did, could say, had sure surprise this girl, especially, after hearing that deep and sexy voice of Matts!
Though, saying this, it seemed that it was also the way Matt was standing right behind me, with one of his smiles! And boy! Could his smiles always knock this girl out! But it was when he suddenly said, “what are you doing with my jeans Sandy?" As well as, how I had reacted to his deep and once again, his sexy voice, when he crept up behind me, as he did and said all that to me! Because, boy! Did he made me jump, because it was when I turned around and saw who was standing just a few inches from me was Matt, smiling away.
Which, like I had said, whenever I saw him just smiling at me, had always seemed to managed to either brought my shyness back upon my face which I couldn’t help! Or simply knock this girl out! Because no sooner then I saw him looking straight at me, with those amazing big brown eyes, that I started to think, oh my god Matt! What the hell, are you trying to do to me Matt? Course, all I was trying to do was carry on with my work! And as for sticking around, while they wanted to talk to Deek! Well without further ado, I suddenly turned to Deek and tried to say quietly, "would you just mind if I go Deek? “oh! “Please Deek, can I go?"
Anyway, shortly after I had saw both Pete and Leah coming wondering into work, Pete went straight to the guys, while Leah came wondering down towards me with a huge smile on her face. Which, all that came to mind was, there’s nothing wrong in that! Only, while Leah was looking straight at me, one minute, she then kept turning herself around to the guys, still looking-like that they were smiling directly at me!
Now, it may sound strange, but if you look at it from where I was standing, seeing Leah who had kept on turning herself around to them, then, and who then kept turning herself back at me, well, it would give anyone, suspicious of what was going on! Not forgetting, that smile that Deek had given me, while I was quietly walking away from them before, they had really started talked to Matt. As well as, that smile Deek was giving me while he and Ben was trying to talk to Matt!
NOW, DID I HEAR RIGHT?
"MATT FANCIES ME!
Then, just two weeks before yet, another Christmas was approached, well while I just finished work on this day what seemed so strange, happened! As it was when I came back in for something, but who seemed after seeing Ben and Matt, not doing nothing really, but hanging around near the front of the till! But who knows, I could have been mistaken, as they could have been just talking to Deek, who was doing something at the till.
Anyway, while I wondered in that day and approach the till, well while Deek was on the phone to somebody, I suddenly heard Ben saying to Matt, “Matt fancies Sandy." Which, made me question to myself that did I hear right? As well as, why on earth would Ben say such a silly thing like that? Knowing that Matt had never liked me! Not to mention, that Ben had really taken me by complete surprise. Course, of also noticing Matt was looking slightly at me, in what seemed in a very shy way, but who was trying to make out he didn't hear what Ben had said.
Though, saying that, while Matt had been looking directly at me with that shy, what I couldn't help noticing was, Matt had seemed to be looking at me, with those deep and captivating, sexy, dreamy eyes! And even heard himself say something, that was unlike him to say to me! Which was hearing his deep and sexy voice, say “watch out, something will happen.” Or it could have been, “watch it, because something will happen.” Either way, that was what Matt had said, while at the same time, trying not to look at me, even though, I could vaguely see that he was!
Which, what was going through my mind was, Aww aren't you lovely! You big brown eyes, you! Because, his damn big brown eyes, don't tell lies, while I couldn't help gazing into them! While, at the same time had brought a shy look upon this girls face! And who can blame me, course, oh boy! Those eyes are certainly doing something to me, alright! And it is now, every single time I try not to look at him!
"COR! "NOW, WHO'S LUKE WILSON?"
"COR! "NOW, WHO'S LUKE WILSON?"
AS IT CAN'T BE IT'S HIM!
But, let’s just go back when it was one August, after popping into Wacky’s to say, “hello,” to my friends and to show them this DVD that I had to buy, called, "IDIOCRACY! Because of who this Actor from the front of it, had so much resembled Matt in every detail! As, in likeness! His so oh, very gorgeous sexy smile and his big captivating, dark brown eyes, that could easily knock me, aka Sandy out in a flash! Like Matt had always gone and done in my past. Not forgetting, this Actor had dark, but shortish, spiky brown hair, like Matt had!
And boy! Even just typing all this down, as certainly made this girl go hot! Hot! And more hotter then ever! Anyway, while trying to talk to them as well as showing this DVD, had heard Matts voice, from across the way, but who I can say had taken me by complete surprise! By first, shouting out my name more then once, "Sandy." And secondly, who I couldn’t help but, noticing that he was just standing around the entrance from our work, smiling, directly at me! Which, all that I could think, while just looking at him was, Aww! Matt!
Only, whilst I was still looking at Matt, course I just couldn't help myself, Lynette suddenly, came out, by saying, “you love him?" "don't you, Sandy?" Which, after asking her, “who?" Once again heard Lynette say, “why Matt of course! That’s who! "Matt! As I said, then, who said to her, “what do you mean, "I love him?" As, I continued to say, “as I don’t know what’s love is! Then, with that reply, heard Lynette telling me, “why love is, if you are thinking about someone, always-like constantly!
So, after turning back just slightly, to face Matt, who was still hanging around at the entrance, still facing me with one of his lovely smiles. Turn myself back to Lynette and said, “well actually, I do think of Matt, quiet a lot! Which Lynette then ended up saying, “well that’s what I mean, Sandy," "you love Matt." Which, after asking me this, had some what felt, quite scared! Because of how she describe what love was to me had made this girl wondered, well, how and why, did all this come about? And why now, to this guy, especially? I mean, for truly thinking of Matt, like I had back then and still probably do won't ever go! As I will always have these feelings so deeply, for him! Which, won't my fault to love for him!