Wednesday, 5 January 2000

Playing Games - Chapter 1


"Oh Boy!  "Who's that?"




           "HELLO! "WHO'S HE?"

 The first time I met him was when I walked into work and even though our eyes didn’t meet, something had told me how was this tall, dark hair, mysterious stranger was going to start something off in my crazy life?  But how!  All I do know was when I had walked into work that day and noticed this guy, leaning against a table with his arms folded looking like he was in a world of his own, while Deek, who was the Manager was at the till.  

 Who I secretly thought a times, that he looked a bit like that Actor, Ardal O' Halon, when he only played the character of Father Dougal McGuire from that old hit, comedy series of Father Ted, but who was slightly shorter, with brownish hair, showing some pozy, tall, but ever so plain, lanky girl something on the till, while I still couldn't help myself, from noticing that guy, from the corner of my eye, that was learning against that big table, near to the entrance and wondering, oh, he seems really nice to myself.  

 But saying that, well, only time will tell!  Oh yes!  Only, time will tell, if that guy was going to be nice or not!  As for myself well, being a shy person as I am, wouldn't have thought for one moment then, that anyone like him, would bring my shyness above the surface, like I was when I was must younger.  Because of wondering when I looked at him, he's nice!  But, still who couldn’t seem to bring myself to go up to them, let alone speak to them.  

 Though, while coming back out from where I had got myself already for my shift, was told by our Deputy Manager, "that we’ve now have two new people starting today," "the one, he replied, "is with Deek, is called Liz, and the other, is Matt."  For whom, must have been him, that I noticed just leaning against that table, with arms still folded and looking slightly down, because as there weren't anyone else around, when I came wondering back out, from our staff-room with Fazz, who was that Deputy Manager, back then!

 Only, if you must know seeing him as I did, had told yours truly, not to look at him even after I went up to this new girl Liz, so that I could introduce myself to her, just still couldn’t exactly look up at him.  Not to mention, as I was walking past him so I could make way towards the fitting-rooms, had still told myself not to turn and look at this guy.  But who which, had definitely brought a slight smile upon this girls face for sure while I was hiding myself around the corner of the fitting-room.  As it was only then, that I only decided to look at him, because of knowing no one could see me!  Which once again, that was how I met this so-call mysterious, slightly gorgeous and sexy guy, who I had wondered even after knowing he was going to be a member of us, that was he going to start something off in my so-call crazy life?  

 Because, for one!  It was him that truly brought this girl smile right back upon her face, since her own Manager had got stitch up, right good and proper, by those that was in change above of the place.  Which of course, meant, it was only him, that each time had made me laugh and smile at the same time, but who I didn’t realise had also, ended up falling, madly in love with.  And even though, we did seem to get along like just good friends do, from when he started, didn't take that long to realise that they were now starting to be a bit funny with me, as in not like, ha-ha!  But, how they were all seem to joining in together-like, as like a bunch of flaming Barstards to try to make it harder for me for not to be a friend with Matt.  

 Especially, shortly after Fazz had decided to leave us, made me wonder that maybe, it was best for all, that me and Matt just won’t be able to be friend’s.  Not because I wanted two  No!  But, how they truly made it harder for me to continue of trying to be friends with him.  Only, all this as I said, didn’t really happen until, Fazz had decided to leave because what I can vaguely remember was just before he had, well what I noticed was Matt had still showed signs of his funny sense of humour around me.  

 Which got to admit, was nice to see, as well as, he seemed to act like he really cared of what I thought of him for maybe, wanting to go for Fazzs' job, as a Deputy Manager!   Because, all he kept on saying to me was, “would you mind so much Sandy, if I went for Fazzs' job?"  Over and over again!

 And even though, that was then, and this is now, after it’s only been now, what sixteen years, since Matt had left, but which, now I’m no longer working there myself, due to everyone the place had been made redundant, so it everywhere around of our work had to closed down in January 2012.  Which makes it roughly, for me, fifteen years, that those feelings that I was starting to experience over Matt, as still not changed one bit!  Which, of course meant, discovering then, that I really had ended up loving him so much! 

 Probably even more so now, then ever before, because what I liked about him in the first place, was how he had first acted all stupid-like while he was around me, then it was around the others!  As well as, making me thought he could have been slightly shy which I liked even more.  But sadly again for me, at the same time, how he had always singled me out, as well as, no matter how he treated me at times, just still couldn’t help myself from liking him even more then ever, because of those times that he really made me laugh, which was really nice!


Playing Games - Chapter 2


Chapter 2


                                    CHASING MATT AROUND TO JUST TRY  

                                                  AND GET MY BOOK BACK

 For example, by how he got hold of my book this one time and kept making this girl chasing him, all around work while it was mostly quiet, thank god!  Only, what happened shortly was, he went into the back with me following him, of course, because of my book, but who couldn't get to him, as he ran straight into the Managers office, which was like a very a small room, next door to the staff-room and slammed the door on me.  Making yours truly to keep running up to door, like an idiot, banging on it, in for hoping it would open!  

 But, even though I couldn't, each time I ran back and forth, towards the door that I just first of all, couldn't let the door to budge slightly, as well as secondly, something was just telling this girl that why, I'm I enjoying myself?  Hey!  Just why?  Maybe!  Just maybe, it was hearing Matt laughing from the other side of the door, which I thought, I think I bloody loved this a little more then, chasing him around the shop, because he got hold of my small writing book that was like a diary, which had my thoughts about him inside!  

 As well as, it could have been him, from knowing that I was really trying so hard to push that dam door open, with my elbow, over and over again-like!  But, who luckily for me, had an idea, course of half way of just trying to reopen this door, that I wouldn't be at all surprised Matt had held on from the other side, the great big twit, as I thought!  But, who I couldn't help myself for liking it!  

 Course, who at first, this girl while was still on the floor laughing, along with him, which I did imagined, thought to herself  I'll give it one more bash, in trying to open this sodden dam stupid door, because I really didn't want him to see what was in my book, that's if he was going to do!  So, as I got up, off the floor slowly, pretending I've had enough of doing this, this girl yet again, whammed her left elbow for the very last time, towards the office door.  Only, once again this door wouldn't want to budge, which boy!  Did I felt my elbow! 

So, as this girl, Sandy had an idea, which was to make out that I've had enough, course, then Matt just might give in and reopen this stupid door!  Would pretend to go back out to wanting to see if Matt would actually thought to himself, Sandy must have gone back out to the shop, by opening the back door, but who really shutting it!  So, I can suddenly give one more best shot, in doing it again! 

 *Which, to my surprise, had saw that I had finally exceed to opened this door, from the office.  But, only, boy!  Did this surprise Matt, course of the way he jolted aback a little, by looking a little surprised by how I did open that door.  Only, while I did, boy, all I could do was look straight into those big dreamy, sexy brown eyes of his and not anything else, that was around in the office, in the dark! 

 Which, as you know, was so nice for me, because of just glazing into those deepest, dark brown eyes of his, while I suddenly opened the door, where he again backed away just a bit, in the office that lights was not on.  As he probably didn't think to switch on the light, as well as, he didn't expect me to open it right there and then! But, for me, it was truly the most nicest moment that I will ever remember from that time!       

 As well as, just waiting for me to either going in the shoe stock-room, to try and get a customer shoe box, while I was up the ladder, near to the door, but which he probably knew that I couldn't be looking, quietly put his hand through the door to keep switching the light on and then off!  

 Or even, a time that just before I came out to start, Matt would go and hide himself in one of the changing-rooms so that whenever I would come out and then, would have gone straight into the fitting-room, as usual, to check them out, would want to surprise me when it came to me of opening that certain curtain that he was hiding himself in!  And I do mean surprising me, as I think he would probably knew of how I would react to when I had always came to opening that curtain that he was hiding in!  

 I mean, it was when I suddenly saw that there, right in front of me was Matt standing with a huge big grin upon his face, looking straight directly at me with those deep, gorgeous big brown eyes, as well as, noticing he was giving this girl one hell of a dreamy, sexy smile.  Which, what happened was, I simply ran away from him, leaving him to have a little laugh to himself.   

 Not forgetting, there were those other times, while I was always trying to sort out the men’s jeans into size order, that he would simply come up and knock them all down, followed by one of his silly little laughs!  Which, even that, had done a little something to me, because of how Matt had put me in my place!  Meaning, of how I would blush just slightly, but, who had tried to hide from Matt.

Playing Games - Chapter 3


Chapter 3


                                         TRAPPED IN THE SHOE-STOCK ROOM

                                    WITH MATT SITTING BETWEEN THE DOOR

                                                            SMILING AWAY

 Then, of course, there was the time when Matt had quietly walked into the back, while I was in the shoe shock-room with one of the other girl’s, sorting most of the shoe boxes out or should that be, while we were trying two!  Because, while we were trying two, well, after  hearing the door from the back open, but just didn't bother to really think of whom that could have been, because of what we were doing, well, shortly I heard a chair move from the staff-room, to the door of the shoe stock-room.  

 As, this was Matt placing this dam chair right in front of the door-way from the shoe stock- room, trapping both of us in and not letting us out.  Although, that wasn’t entirely true, because shortly after, he had, he only allowed Abby to get out from there and continue with her work, while at the same time, he just wouldn't with me out.  Course, of replacing that dam chair back in the middle of the shoe stock-room, trapping yours truly, by sitting back down onto the chair, with a huge smile upon his face, which this girl, couldn't look at him!

Playing Games - Chapter 4


Chapter 4


                          WHAT IS MATT DOING WITH BOTH HIS LEGS UP?

                                        AND PUTTING BOTH HIS ARMS AT 

                                       THE BACK OF HIS HEAD SMILING?                                                          


 Not forgetting, there was even a time while I was working that he called me in the back for something, well that’s what I thought, because after wondering in the back, I not only saw Matt was sitting down in the staff room, but sitting down with both of legs right up onto the other chair, smiling away to me, which, always got to me in the nicest possible way!   Because, at first, it did make me feel like he was trying to indicate something else, which I could have been wrong to think of!  

 But, really!  It was the way he was making me truly feel, as I walked into the staff-room, seeing him with both arms stretched out at the back of his head, like he was relaxing-like, not forgetting, that while he was smiling away, as he did, he made out, to me, if you want to sit down, well sit on my lap, because of how he had both of his legs onto the other chair! 

 And secondly, it was really how he had also made this girl go completely shy at the same time because I was really starting to feel like blushing in front of him!  Which cause of this, had really made it so awkward for me to stick around near to him!  Only, as I wasn't thinking straight, I suddenly dashed straight out from the staff-room, before I thought of that, I might really blush even more so then I had already.  But no sooner after I dash out from the staff room then I heard Matt starting to laugh a little to himself, which, I felt like I was going to blush a little more, then I had ever before!

 Although, what I mustn’t forget, was while I thought I had, all those feelings for him, had now sadly started to react differently towards me, like he was turning into that "Mr Hyde," who as you know, from the character, in the "Novels" or "Films" that they were a horrible piece of work, to everyone that would come across them.  Only being Matt, well, it was only towards myself that he would behave in such away then he was with anyone else, from work.  

 Maybe, it was, those other Barstards, from work had decided to play with my emotions, so I wouldn’t know whether I was coming or going, of how I was now starting to feel around Matt!  Which, I’ve got to say, was so horrible for really anyone to do to that someone, like myself!  But, Matt didn't help either, which if it won't for my feelings for him, well, I would also, call the guy, a flaming "Barstard" like the rest of them! 

 Especially, as I was sure that they must have known somehow that I was not being my usual self around them now, but my old and true self, which was being really shy whenever it came to Matt was around me.  The only thing was, I had no idea of why Matt was being like this towards me and only me,  may I add!  Because, one minute you would see him acting all nice, by making this girl laugh, by acting all silly-like.  Then, the next his behaviour would suddenly change, like someone that I wouldn’t want to be around or even maybe, not knowing, them, at all.  As, that's how horrible he was.   

 Which, most of those times was actually while he was in changed and working along side that bloody, "snobby-bitch" big Liz, as she was known to us, but which I thought was entitled to think of a few more names for her, because of how she had always made me felt while she was with Matt!  But there was another reason of why I didn’t really want to be around if I knew Matt was going to be in charge with her, like they sometimes had!  Which, I really never liked about, because whenever they would work together at times well they would always reminded me of all those awful bad times that I had of being badly bullied by those nasty bullies from schools those many, many years ago.



Playing Games - Chapter 5


 Chapter 5


                                                               THE TIME 


                                     THAT MATT WAS STANDING THERE 

                                                           BY SUPERDUGS

                        ONLY, HOW DID HE KNOW, I WAS JUST AROUND?

 For I give you an example, on this one occasion while I had this day off, saw Matt where I was coming out from the ladies toilets in the Kingfisher Centre, just simply leaning against a wall, that was opposite looking slightly down at first, then who slowly glanced back up where I wondered how did Matt know I was around here?  As well as, why else, was he just hanging around here, doing nothing but looking down, then who slowly looked back up as I came out from where I had been?  Because, it was like he had somehow knew I was around there, but waiting for me to come out from where I had been!  Which, that was still to weird to work out.  

 Anyway, no sooner then he saw me that he slowly approach, to first ask, “are you doing anything important Sandy?"  Which, to be perfectly frank, got a little confused to where this was heading, until, he asked another question, which was, “could you possibly come into work to help us out for a few hours?"  Which, I actually thought, 'Oh, Matt! I would do anything for you, but, not for work! 

 Because, there was something about Matt that made me feel at times, like I was going in a little world of my own, that l I couldn't say no to him!  Even though, I told him, “I’m doing something Matt, so I’m sorry I can’t help you."  But as it was how the guy had somehow send me in a trance by looking into his big brown eyes, whenever he did smile, well, I couldn't refuse.  So, while walking along with Matt toward work, with a little smile upon my face, thinking at the time, that this was nice of walking along side Matt.  As well as, thinking, it was going to be fine, when I got in, wasn't! 

 Course, no sooner then I asked Matt, “where these jeans had to go?"  Of being a new item, that must have came to us, while I wasn't there, not only gave me such a strange look, but which, had shouted from the back of the shop, while once again, hanging around with that flaming "Bitch" aka big Liz, whom really had a bloody nose that was like one of those toffee-nose sobs, that thinks they knew everything!  Not only shouted, “my god!  “What do you mean, you don’t know where those jeans go?"  But while he made yours truly, look ever so stupid, added, by crying out loud, “how long have you been working here Sandy?"  "Hey!  "Just how long?"

 Then, what’s more, what the guy had surprisingly said to me next, could say, had truly hurt my feelings so deeply, because of what he said was, “do you know what, each day, I can’t wait for it to be over, because of how you always frustrate me so."  Then, after asking him, “well do you want me to leave then?"  Turned suddenly, to that repulsive big Liz again, then, who turned back to me and said right in in face this time, “Oh!  “Why don’t you go away."  As, if he was trying to tell me, "I can not stand of seeing you Sandy!  

 Which, what shocked me even more so, was after Matt had truly yelled out that, at me, he simply shouted, “because I can’t stand the sight of you!  Which, coming from him, personally had once again, truly hurt my feelings so deeply then, anyone could imagine!  But, what was so worse was, it came out of Matt mouth, who I had simply thought, before of going into work, 'Oh! Matt I'll do just about anything for you, just anything!  Then, for helping work,' 'but why, did you have to turn into "Hyde" right" now?  Course, of simply carrying on by saying, "why, don't you get out of my face, as I can't stand the sight of you! 

 Which, first, didn't really understand of why he would say anything like that to me, since it was him that asked for me, in the first, on my day off.  Anyway, because of the way I was now starting to feel, but, which I didn’t want to show it, made me feel that I could have cried right there and then, in front of him.  But again, because I didn't, course, of possibly trying to stop myself from doing so, did not help!  Because, shortly after Matt had said all this to me, left me totally speechless, as I didn’t expect anything like that would come from his own mouth, especially, as I came in on that day for just Matt.  

 Because just noticing Matt leaning on that wall as he did, opposite the ladies toilets, on my day off, asking me so nicely, with that gorgeous look of his, "if I would kindly help them, at work?"  Especially, as I thought then, that after he asked me, as he did, to come in, like he had!  Did thought to herself, that it was going to turn out to be okay, for me on that day.   Well, lets just say, if I knew what was going to happen, for the way Matt had spoken, after I asked him about those new pair of jeans, probably wouldn't have come in!  Course, I only gone into work on my day off because of Matt and not because of work needed some help!  

 Only, what I truly didn’t expect to happen was, while I was walking away from both of them, tears was just starting to flood down, upon my face, but only tears, as I didn't seem to be crying, but just tears running down my face!  Though, while I was near to the front of the shop after walking away from them, still trying to do my work, by sorting some clothes out  well, trying not to allow from anyone of noticing how deeply Matt had hurt my feelings, by saying what he had, tried so hard in hiding my tears behind some clothes-like.  Noticed some customer had saw me, as I slowly glanced up and looked at them and for them looking back at me, made out, that they were trying to say, "what's wrong with you?   

 Only, what was more worst, while noticing this customer that was on the way out, was that flaming, "snobby-cow-like" aka big Liz had also, saw yours-truly, from the corner of my eye, as she seemed to be hanging around near to the till, doing something!  Or was she?  Course, what was going through my mind was, could she have been there to get back to Matt, to tell him what was happening?  In other words, what was going through my mind, was when she probably saw me, well would have she wanted to rush straight back to Matt, which, I was correct in thinking, because, no sooner then she had saw me, then she disappeared. 

 Which, I did thought I was safe for a brief moment, until, Matt had suddenly reappeared in front of me, with that glare in his face to say, “now, what’s wrong with you Sandy?  Which, I thought, as if you didn’t know what was wrong Matt?  But instead, of telling him the truth, I actually told the guy that, “I’ve got a headache," "a terrible headache!  Which, I was sure that while I was telling him this, knew in some way, he probably didn't believe me course, I wasn’t really telling him the truth!  So, as I was waiting for some sarcastic comment from him, all that the guy said was, “go in the back then,” which after coming straight back out, had noticed Matt was looking directly at me with that glare again.  Which, puzzled me, as I wasn't so sure what to make of that look he was giving me!  Was it a nice look?  Or simply a look, that was trying to tell this girl, "oh grow-up!  



Playing Games - Chapter 6


Chapter 6 


                             THE FIRST TIME MATT ACTED LIKE HYDE!

                                      FROM "DR JYKLE AND MR HYDE,"

                                                        TOWARDS ME!

 Though, that wasn’t the first time Matt had truly acted hastily towards me, because the first time that I can remember, was shortly after he and that bloody "cow" aka big Liz was when they started to work for us.  Or should that be slightly before, their first Christmas with us, which I think was around October or November of 2005.  There again, it could have been in the year of 2006, that Matt had decided to be absolutely horrible to me on this day, by saying over and over, “oh, I love blondes, I do" "and pretty ones.”  

 Which, after turning to me, ended up saying, “well, you don’t think I was talking about you, did you?"  Which, to be perfectly frank, honest didn’t know of why he was saying this to me course, of firstly, being a brunette.  And secondly, how I already knew full well that he liked blondes because, as it was coming up to Christmas, most of the other staff had really wanted to know of how we were going to celebrate our Christmas!

 So, after suggesting of having a Christmas party, including a meal afterwards, well after Matt had gone out of his way to get a menu for us all, he not only came wondering back, by first, throwing, what looked-like a white Sports Band towards me, course of earlier that day I told Deek that I didn't feel quite like a member of the Staff.  Which besides himself, Matt had only really brought one for myself, which till this day has still treasure it, course it was from him personally!  Which sound silly of doing, but, really that's what I've done, I have actually still got it, in a safe place, because it was from Matt!

  Anyway, getting back to eventually asking each of us to come in the back to tell him of what we wanted from the menu that Christmas?  Which, when it came to my turn had suddenly thought, did I hear right!  Because basically, what I thought I heard was Matt saying something really nice to me even though I didn’t quite catch it, because it was just a bit to quiet for me to really hear his very nice voice properly.   

 Only sadly, as I looked up slightly, suddenly saw that it wasn’t me that Matt was saying all those nice things two, but to one of our younger Christmas staff Mia, who I saw her peering through the door of the staff-room door, waiting to ask Matt for something.  And yes!  That was when I found out Matt must have really liked blondes and pretty ones, because Mia was not only blonde, but who was fairly pretty as well!  But getting back to what Matt had said all those things to me, shortly after seeing everyone about what they wanted.  Because whether he knew it or not, even though I knew it, there was still no need for him to be that nasty!  

 Especially, when he ended up by saying, “well you didn’t think I was talking about you?"  "Did you?"  "Hey!  Though, the only thing was, whenever Matt was always like this to me, well no matter how he was, I still couldn’t fight back.  Or even have a right go at him, like I probably would have, if it was anyone else, from work!   

* Which, I know I should have done, but really at the time, couldn’t when it came to Matt, because whenever I saw him around, well it was like Matt had always seemed to have done something to this girl, even though at times, the guy was mostly swearing to my face, with that angry look in his eyes, as if to also, say, "I  can't stand you!  Making me feel though, why couldn't I do a dam thing right with Matt!  And yes!  At times, I did thought, 'why is that bloody idiot, treating me in this way, just why?  And why only me?    

 Course, of imaging, what would have been like if Matt had acted like a nicer person towards me, then he really was?  As for imagining now, "well, would I want to meet Matt yet again, after all these years, if someone asked me?   Well, would I?  The answer to that is, "I don’t know!  Course, of how he acted most of the times towards me, "Sandy," way back then, like acting more like "Hyde" then, rather such a nice guy, as I once thought he was, but who was only nicer to the others.  

 So, my answer again to that is, "there is no way, I could not see that from happening!  "Just no way!  Course, of knowing Matt wasn't a nice guy with only me!  Only, "my god!  "Was I so bad, to get along with?  "Course, I've always got along with guys, then girls, in my past, even way before Matt wondered into my work, I always seemed to get along with them!  So, it must have been Matt, either dislike me or hate me!         

 So, even though I probably knew of why I couldn’t is that I felt I couldn't do anything right when it came to Matt.  But there again, I was trying not to admit to myself that the truth behind of it was, deep down it was my feelings for him!  "Oh yes!  It was differently my feelings, alright!  As, there was just something about this guy now, that I honestly felt I loved.  And yes!  It was probably from the moment I first clapped eyes on him, leaning against that big table, with his arms folded and looking like he was in a little world of his own, near the entrance to the shop, as I wondered in that day.  As well as, thinking to myself why, he even looked-like he was slightly shy!  Which, 'oh boy!  All did I thought of was, "Aww!  Doesn't he seemed really nice. 

 Because it was every time I saw him smiling away, or at times just seeing him trying to look at me while he may have thought, I wasn’t trying to look at him.  Which I’ve got to admit, always left this girl thinking, secretly, to herself, 'oh, Matt!  'Matt! 'Matt!  'If only you would embrace me so!  Because, it was the way he simply made this girl feel at times, whenever I saw that smile.  But that didn't stop me of dreaming of that.  No!  As I really imagined, 'what if you really would take me in your arms, course, then, I would really don’t think I would ever want to let you go!  And it would only be you, that I wouldn't want to let go!    

 Though, whether it was good times or bad, whenever it came to Matt, that I had always thought the world of and meant every word of it!  Even though, I knew he didn’t like me, I meant every word, of what I thought of him!  And if that meant telling that I do dream of myself, at times, of wondering "what if only you Matt could just take me in your arms, and whisper a few words in my ear, not forgetting, that is, imagining you embracing me!  Which, vice a versa.  

 But also dreaming, I wouldn't be at all surprised that this girl, would even dare herself to give this guy a real kiss on his lips, then his cheek.  Which, sounds silly, but course, I've never been kiss romantically by anyone or would want two, romantically it was only him, that I always dreamt of doing that two!  And no one else!  "Oh yes!  "It was only Matt!  But course, Matt had showed his true colours back then, well, this girl was no Tart and wouldn't want to know someone that just want to keep going around for sex!        

 Anyway, again, there was another time that Matt had to be horrible to me while Deek was off and as usual, that big Liz was there like always, that "snobby-nose bitch," or "Cow!  Who really, by the way I speak of her, couldn't stand the sight of her.  Because of every time whenever them two were hanging around together-like, doing something, well it seemed that they wanted to make sure that I would be as miserable as I can be, by picking on me until, they both thought that I had enough!  Only, this time they had seemed to be playing with my emotions so I wouldn’t know whether I was coming or going!

Playing Games - Chapter 7


      Chapter 7


                                         THE DAY'S, THAT I DREADED OF 

                                                  COMING INTO WORK!

 Now, I always dreaded of whenever Deek had took his days off because of knowing full well of what may happen.  Course, of knowing what Matt and that big Liz, that "snobby-nose bitch" would first like to act that they both wanted to play with my emotions, as well as, seeing how far they could possibly take it, which half of the time, I’m sure they knew by how I acting!  And secondly, of what happened shortly after they both decided to stop, carried on with my work.  

 But after seeing Matt standing near to the front of the shop looking like he could have not been feeling to good, felt that I wanted to do something for him, to try and cheer him up!  But what I had thought was a really nice gesture to cheer him up, had turned horribly wrong, because after thinking Matt would take all this as a really nice compliment the guy just flipped out at me, leaving me feeling like I could have cried.  But I didn't!  It was just that he really had hurt me!

 Only, why should I felt like that, where all I did was write how I thought I liked him, even maybe possible added, I think I love you, in nice way though, to just try and cheer the guy up, once again.  Which, I know I shouldn’t have done, because that flaming big idiot, didn't take that as a nice compliment, but who I was trying to harassing him!  "The Barstard!  Because if that was anyone else, well they would have taken that, as a really, lovely compliment-like!  

 But, once again, did Matt find that a very nice compliment from me?  Well did he?  I say, "no he didn't!   As he acted like a bloody prick!  And that's no mistake!  Course, while I was trying to explain to Matt, of why I written that bit down, he like sometimes acted, twisted my words around, so that it seemed that was again harassing him!  Me! Harassing him, who I always thought the world of and who couldn’t hurt his feelings, even if I wanted two, I wouldn’t want to!

 *Anyway, as he tried to make out that I was really harassing him with some help from his best friend and colleague, Big Liz, who once again, was a right snobby-cow, because of that look of hers.  And boy!  I do mean, she had a repulsive, ugly, vile look about her!  But who couldn't help herself whenever seeing her near to Matt, of thinking, 'you are a total Bitch!  And that’s no mistake!  As she really was a Bitch, because of how I didn’t always have a leg to stand on when it came to them both of them working together!  

 But like I said, if that was anyone else, then they would take that, of what I written for Matt, as a really nice compliment then rather, what he more then less had done, while being with that "toffee-snobby-nose witch!  So, after he saw what I written he immediately told me, “just wait till Deek comes back tomorrow.”  Which after hearing him say that, must confess he made me feel slightly scared.  Even trying to reason with him, didn’t help as I ended up pretty much in tears, especially after leaving which Matt must have known what was going on while noticing me going straight into see my friends, in Wacky’s still crying. 

 Now, as for the following day, as I knew what was coming when I would eventually go straight into work that day, decided first, I would prepare myself because of getting all worked up with worrying of what was going to happen to me!  But what I didn’t get was just as I was on my way there, had caught a slight glimpse of both Matt and Deek peering around the corner of the front entrance, to our shop, grinning like you wouldn't believe.  

 Only, when I told this to someone that was helping me go for an NVQ in Retail, well their immediately reaction was pure anger.  Or to be precise, livid because of what they said to me was, “my god!  “Do you mean to say, they are trying to say you were harassing Matt because of what you written for him?"  Which once again, if that was anyone else, well I'm sure they would have taken that as a really nice compliment!

Playing Games - Chapter 8


Chapter 8



 Now, when another Christmas was drawing more upon us this year, something else happened, only this time what happened had not only appeared a little odd, but who had also thought, 'what the hell, was going on here?  Though, I couldn’t say that this time, Matt was involved in this, because he weren’t there at that precise time, course, of having two weeks off!  Which again, brings me back to what happened that seemed a little to strange, because what happened was just minute’s after seeing Deek giving me the most biggest grin while talking away, to Lynette from Wacky’s, he then came strolling back over to where big Liz was working at and said quietly, but which I couldn't help of hearing him say this, “we have got to get Matt and Sandy together?" 

 Only, what did he meant, by saying that, as I sure didn't know at the time, only that was what he definitely said to big Liz, while I was hanging around a little closer to them, but who was more closer to the fitting-room.  And who really couldn’t help noticing Deek was also, looking straight at me, still smiling away!  

 *Anyway, when it came to Matt's second week off, well oh brother!  What happened was, who should be wondering into work, while Deek was giving me a hand with some of the jeans on one of the tables, that was closer to the entrance?  As well as, who was walking so quietly, that I didn’t hear them of walking behind me?  But both Matt and Ben!  Yes!  It was both Matt and Ben!  Course, as they came wondering in as they did, could say, had sure surprise this girl, especially, after hearing that voice of Matts! 

 Though, saying that, it was also the way Matt was just standing right behind me, with one of his smiles!  And brother!  Could his smiles always seemed to knock this girl out, but it was when he suddenly said, “what are you doing with my jeans Sandy?"   As well as, I reacted to his voice, when he crept up behind me, as he did and said all that to me.  Because, oh boy!  Did he made me jump, because it was when I turned around, realised that there standing just a few inches from me was Matt, smiling away.  

 Which like I said, whenever I saw him smiling away at me, well he always seemed to managed to either brought my shyness back, which I couldn’t help it!  Or simply knock this girl out!  Because no sooner then I saw him, just by looking straight into those big brown eyes, that did I thought I was in trouble with either carrying on with my work or just simply sticking around him, while they wanted to talk to Deek.  So, without further ado, then I  suddenly turned to Deek and tried to say without saying a word, "would you mind if I go Deek?  “oh!  “Please Deek, can I go?"

 Because I don’t think I could have stuck around Deek now.  Which to be perfectly frank, probably already knew what was coming, because of how Deek could now see how I just didn’t know which way to turn when I realised Matt was now suddenly here.  As well as, my shyness must have shown just a little.  So, after giving me a little nod to indicate yes, he smiled.  And who knows Deek had probably knew that I didn’t really want Matt to know of how he was starting to make me go all shy, as I quietly walked away from them to the fitting-room.

 Only, while I was walking away from the guys and heading towards the fitting-room I just couldn’t help myself by suddenly turning around slightly, to look at what they were all doing.  Call me curious, as that was what I felt, but also, I couldn't help of feeling that I needed to do that!  So, as I slowly turned, what I saw was both Deek and Ben talking to Matt quietly at the corner of the shop, but which at the same time noticed Deek was smiling at me.  

 Anyway, shortly after what I saw was, both Pete and Leah now had also came wondering into work, so as Pete went to the guys, Leah came wondering towards me with a huge smile on her face.  Which, all came to my mind then, was, 'there’s nothing wrong in that!  Well, no there isn’t!  Only while Leah was looking at me one minute, she then kept turning herself around to the guys, still smiling at me.

 Though, while she kept turning herself around to them, then turning herself  back at me, who by now was starting to get a bit suspicious into thinking, 'why was Leah seemed to be turning to look at the guys so many times?  But who then, kept turning back to face me, with that huge smile over and over again!  Like she knew something I didn’t!  Now, it may sound strange, but if you look at it from where I was standing then, of seeing Leah who kept turning herself around to them, then, and who then kept turning herself back at me, well, it would give anyone, suspicious of what was going on!  Not forgetting, that smile that Deek had given me, while I was quietly walking away from them before, they had talked to Matt, as well as that smile Deek was giving me while he and Ben was trying to talk to Matt.

Playing Games - Chapter 9


Chapter 9


                                              NOW, DID I HEAR RIGHT?

                                                  "MATT FANCIES ME!

 Then just two weeks before this one Christmas had approached, well while I just finished work on this day what seemed so strange, happened!  As it was when I came back in for something, but who after seeing Ben and Matt, not only hanging around the front near the till, but who seemed to be doing nothing.  But there again, I could be wrong, as they could have been talking to Deek, who was doing something at the till!

 Anyway, while I wondered in that day and approach the till, where at the time Deek was on the phone to somebody, I was sure I suddenly heard Ben saying, “Matt fancies Sandy!  Which, made me wonder why on earth would Ben say that?  Not to mention, that Ben had taken me by complete surprise, course, of also noticing Matt was looking slightly at me, which, also, looked-like he was trying to make out he hadn’t heard what Ben had said.  

 Now, shortly after all that happening, I noticed Matt was looking at me, with those very sexy, dreamy eyes and even heard himself say something, that was unlike him to say especially, to me.  Because what Matt said was more like, someone would probably want to say to someone else, if they liked them, but giving them a hint!  But what Matt said was, “watch out, something will happen,” or it could have been, “watch it, because something will happen.”  Either way, that was what Matt said, while at the same time trying not looking at me, even though, I could vaguely see that he really was looking at me!  Really!  Because, his Brown eyes, don't tell lies, while noticing that look, while trying not to look at a person, which was myself, who was going a little shy, while trying not to notice him at the same time!    

Playing Games - Chapter 10


Chapter 10


                                                       AS IT CAN'T BE IT'S HIM!


 But, let’s just go back a bit when it was one August, that very same year, when I only popped into Wacky’s to say, “hello,” to my friends, as well as, showing them, this DVD, that was called, "IDIOCRACY" which I had to buy.  Because of whom, this Actor in front of it, had really resembled Matt in every detail!  As, in like his gorgeous and yes, sexy smile and his big deep, dark Brown eyes, that could easily knock me out in a flash of lighting, like Matt had sometimes could.  Not forgetting, this Actor had dark, but shortish, spiky Brown hair, like Matt had!  

 And boy!  Even just typing all this down, as certainly made this girl go Hot! Hot!  And more Hotter then ever!  Anyway, while trying to talk to them as well as showing this DVD, had heard Matts voice, from across the way, but who I can say had taken me by complete surprise, also.  By first, shouting out my name more then once, "Sandy."  And secondly, who I couldn’t help but, noticing that he was just standing around the entrance from our work, smiling, directly at me!  Which, all that came to my mind was, a big Aww!   

 Only, as I was looking at him, Lynette had suddenly, said, which could say, had totally surprised me, course she said, “you love him?" "don't you, Sandy?"  Which, after asking her, “who?"  While still couldn't help myself of looking at Matt, heard Lynette say, “why Matt of course, that’s who!  "Matt!  Which, to my response, answered, “what do you mean, "I love him?"  As, I continued to say, “as I don’t know what’s love is!  Then, with that reply, heard Lynette telling me, “why, love is, if you are thinking about someone, always, like constantly!  

 So, after turning back just slightly, to face Matt, who was still hanging around at the entrance, facing me with one of his lovely smiles and then, like sometimes, turning myself back to Lynette, said, “well actually, I do think of Matt, a lot!  Which Lynette then ended up saying, “well that’s what I mean, Sandy,"  "You love Matt."  Which, after asking me this, had some what felt, quite nerves and scared, course of how she describe what love was to me had made this girl wondered, 'well, how and why, did all this come about?  And why now, to this guy?  I mean, of thinking of Matt, like I do, all the time!  Course, of how I've never had these feelings so deeply, for anyone, before!        

Playing Games - Chapter 11


Chapter 11




                              BUT WHO ENDED UP, GOING ALL SHY OVER IT! 

                                           COURSE, IT WAS SO, SO NICE

 Then, there was this one time that I don’t think I want to ever forget in a hurry, because it was when I only went into work, to leave a birthday present for Matt with the other members from work.  Only, before I knew it, I got tricked into staying.  So, when Matt would eventually to turn up on his day off, like mine, which they were all due any minute, could give the present of mine directly to him!  But, for asking two girls for passing this present over to him couldn’t see for why they couldn’t easily give it to him on my behalf!  Well, all one would add was, "why don't you wait for Matt to come in and give the present yourself?"  As, well as, asking me something, that I didn't expect to hear, as they both sort have asked me a question, that would never would have thought, to hear in a million years,  which, was asking me, "why, don't you give Matt a kiss?" 

 "A kiss?"  What do you mean, giving Matt a kiss?"  Course, all that was running through my mind then, was, 'I can't do that! So, instead, after Little Liz had said that, she change it two, "well, why don't you give him a kiss on his cheek?"  Which again, made me feel like saying to them, 'but, why?  Which, at this time, Matt came strolled into work, and instead of talking to the rest of them up front, couldn't help of noticing he was looking directly at me with that bloody gorgeous sexy look of his!  Which, made me think to myself, 'oh, don't do that Matt!  Course, you're sending me, bye, bye with that blooming look of yours! 

 Anyway, while I was noticing him looking straight at me, which, I really couldn't avoid because it was that look, which vice-averse, meant, I was now sort of hypnotise and drawn to that look at his. As for little Liz, well all she did was nudged me to go up to Matt to give him his gift from me!  Which, no sooner then I had slowly walked up to Matt and tried to give him his present, then, Matt slowly turned his head around, where I did give him a kiss upon his soft cheek.  And boy!  Even though, I didn't know I could do this, felt that was so really nice.  As I felt, that, that was like it was meant to be for me, because of not kissing another in my enter life!  As well as thinking, 'well could he be the one, that I should ever kiss in my life?  

 But for being a very shy person as I am, when I seemed to see Matt around now, well as soon as I kiss Matt, immediately dashed straight out from work, so that it could look like to them, that I needed to get something, that I could have forgotten!  The only thing was, I do believe that they had probably all knew that, that wasn’t true!  As for Matt, well what can I say, but only after I kiss him, upon his soft and gentle cheek, as well as, quickly dashing out, heard Matt saying in a soft shy voice was, “thanks Sandy?"  

 And then, on the following day, as I slowly walked into work, well, oh boy!  Did I make quite sure, that when I wondered in, unnoticed like, by trying to hide my face by wearing a small black cap over my eyes so I wouldn’t be able to see Matt, when I came straight into work that day course, of having an idea, Matt was going to be there!  Which, I was so right in thinking he was at work that day, course, of hearing his voice as I had wondered in by saying, "hello, Sandy."  And which all that I could do then, was hoping he didn't see, yours truly from blushing, because of how the day before, remembering of how I kiss him upon his cheek.