Tuesday, 1 February 2000
The Autobiography of Sandy Dazley
Friday, 7 January 2000
Dazzlepops - Playing Games - A Book By Dazzlepops
- Dazzlepops - Playing Games
- A Book By Dazzlepops
- Playing Games - Chapter 1
- Playing Games - Chapter 2
- Playing Games - Chapter 3
- Playing Games - Chapter 4
- Playing Games - Chapter 5
- Playing Games - Chapter 6
- Playing Games - Chapter 7
- Playing Games - Chapter 8
- Playing Games - Chapter 9
- Playing Games - Chapter 10
- Playing Games - Chapter 11
- Playing Games - Chapter 12
- Playing Games - Chapter 13
- Playing Games - Chapter 14
- Playing Games - Chapter 15
- Playing Games - Chapter 16
- Playing Games - Chapter 17
- Playing Games - Chapter 18
- Playing Games - Chapter 19
- Playing Games - Chapter 20
- Playing Games - Chapter 21
- Playing Games - Chapter 22
- Playing Games - Chapter 23
- Playing Games - Chapter 24
- Playing Games - Chapter 25
- Playing Games - Chapter 26
- Playing Games - Chapter 27
- Playing Games - Chapter 28
- Playing Games - Chapter 29
- Playing Games - Chapter 30
- Playing Games - Chapter 31
- Playing Games - Chapter 32
- Playing Games - Chapter 33
- Playing Games - Chapter 34
- Playing Games - Chapter 35
- Playing Games - Chapter 36
- Playing Games - Chapter 37
- Playing Games - Chapter 38
- Playing Games - Chapter 39
- Playing Games - Chapter 40
- Playing Games - Chapter 41
- Playing Games - Chapter 42
- Playing Games - message to Dad
- Playing Games - The Epilogue
Wednesday, 5 January 2000
Playing Games - Chapter 1
PLAYING GAMES
CHAPTER 1
"HELLO! "WHO'S HE?"
The first time I met him was when I walked into my work! And even though, our eyes didn’t meet, something had told me how was this tall, dark hair, mysterious stranger was going to start something off, in my so-crazy life? But how! All I do know was, when I had walked into work that day and noticed this guy, "and may I add," had looked so adorable! Leaning against a table with his arms folded, looking like he was in a little world of his own, while Deek, who was the Manager was at the till.
Who I secretly thought, that he looked a bit like that Actor, Ardal O' Halon, when he played that character of Father Dougal McGuire from that old, bet what was a well known hit, comedy series of Father Ted! But who was slightly shorter, with brownish hair, showing some pozy, tall, but ever so plain, lanky girl something on the till! While I still couldn't help myself, from noticing that guy, from the corner of my eye! That was learning against that big table, near to the entrance! And wondered, oh, he seems really nice to myself.
But saying that, well only time will tell! Oh yes! Only, time will tell, if that guy was going to be nice or not! As, for myself well, being a shy person as I am, wouldn't have thought for one moment then, that anyone like him, would bring my shyness above the surface, like I was when I was must younger! Because of wondering when I looked at him, he's nice! But, still who couldn’t seem to bring myself to go up to them, let alone speak to them.
Though, while coming back out, from where I got myself already for my shift, was told by our Deputy Manager, Faz, "that we’ve now have two new people starting today," "the one, who's with Deek, is called Liz, and the other, is Matt! For who must have been him, that I noticed just leaning against that table! With his arms still folded and looking slightly down, because as there weren't anyone else around, when I had came wondering back out, from our staff-room with Fazz!
Only, if you must know, seeing him as I did, had told yours truly, not to look at him! Even after I went up to this new girl Liz, so that I could introduce myself to her, just still couldn’t exactly look up at this quite good-looking guy! Not to mention, as I was walking past him so I could try and make way, towards the fitting-rooms, had still told myself not to turn around and look at this guy! But who which, had definitely brought a slight smile upon this girls face for sure, while I entered the fitting-room, hiding myself around the corner.
As, it was only then, that I decided to look at him, because of knowing no one could see me! Which once again, was how I met this so-called mysterious, slightly, gorgeous and yes! For who was extremely sexy also, after I had wondered in on that day! And even after knowing that he was going to be a member, that was he how was he going to start something off in my so-called crazy life? Because, for one! It was him that truly brought this girls smile right back upon her face, since her own Manager had got stitch up, right good and proper, by those that was in-change above of the place. Total Barstards!
Which of course had meant, it was only him! Him, that each time had made me laugh and smile at the same time! But who I didn’t realise at the time, that I would end up falling, madly in love with him! And even though, we did seem to get along like just good friends well unfortunately, for me it didn't take that long to realise that they were now starting to be a bit funny with me! As, in not in like, ha-de-ha-ha! But, how they were now all seem to be joining in together-like, as like a bunch of flaming idiots, to try to make it harder for me for not being a friend with Matt.
Especially, shortly after Fazz had decided to leave us, because of making me wonder that maybe, it was for the best, that me and Matt was not friend’s. Not because I wanted to! No! But, how they truly made it harder for me to continue of trying to be a really good friend with him. Only, all this as I said, didn’t really happen until, Fazz had decided to leave because what I can vaguely remember was just before he had, well what I noticed was Matt did still showed signs of his funny sense of humour around me! Which I liked a lot! Which I've got to admit, was nice to see! As, well as, he seemed to act like he really cared of what I thought of him for maybe, wanting to go for Fazzs' job, as Deputy Manager job! Because, all he kept on saying was, “would you mind so much Sandy, if I went for Fazzs' job?" Over and over again!
*And even though, that was then, and this is now, sixteen years on, since Matt had left our work. Well, as for myself, it's been really more like fifteen years on, since those feelings of mine for Matt had started to experience. Because as this was around the time, we all had been made redundant in January 2012. And I can definitely say that, that experience of my feelings over Matt, as still not changed one bit! Probably even more so now, then ever before, because what I liked about him in the first place, was how he had first acted all stupid-like, while he was around me, then, it was around the others! As well as, making me thinking to myself, he could have been slightly shy. But sadly again for me, at the same time, how he had always singled me out as well as, no matter how he treated me at times, just still couldn’t help myself from liking him even more then ever, because of those times that he really made me laugh, which was really nice for me to see!
Playing Games - Chapter 2
Chapter 2
CHASING MATT AROUND TO JUST TRY
AND GET MY BOOK BACK
For example! By how he got hold of my book, this one time and kept making this girl chasing him all around work while it was mostly quiet, thank god! Only, what happened shortly, was he went into the back with me following! And of course, because of my book, I couldn't get to him! Course of him running straight into the office! Which I could only describe, was like a very a small room, next door to the staff-room! And slammed the door on me! Making yours truly, to keep running up to door, like a flaming idiot as I was, banging on it, in for hoping it would open!
But, even though, I couldn't! Because of each time I ran back and bloody forth, towards the door, that I just at first, couldn't let the door to budge! And secondly, how something was just telling this girl that why, I'm I enjoying myself? Hey! Just why? Maybe! Just maybe, as I thought, it was hearing my darling Matt, laughing away, from the other side of the door! Which, once again, thought, I loved a little more then, been chased around from him in shop! Even though, he grab hold of my small writing book, that was filled with my thought of his, I certainly enjoyed myself!
As, well as, it could have been him! Him, from knowing that I was really trying so hard to push that dam door to open, with my elbow, over and over again-like! But, who luckily for me, I had an idea! An idea, course of half way, of just trying to reopen this door, that I wouldn't be at all surprised that Matt had held on from the other side! That great big twit, as I thought! But, who I couldn't help myself for liking it! Really!
Course, at first! This girl, meaning myself of course, while still on the floor laughing, along with him, which I did imagined it, had thought to herself I'll give it one more bash! In trying to open this sodden dam stupid door! Because I really didn't want him to see what was in my book, that's if he was going to do! So, as I finally got up, off the floor slowly, pretended I've had enough of doing this! This girl yet again, whammed her left elbow for the very last time, towards that office door! Only, once again this door wouldn't want to budge, which boy! Did I felt my elbow!
So, as this girl, Sandy Dazley had an idea! An idea, that would make out, that I've had enough, by pretending to go back out, course of wanting to see if Matt might actually give in! In reopening this stupid door! I had suddenly gave one more shot, in doing it again! Just to see what may happen, after hopefully trick Matt by doing this! Which, to my surprise, had finally saw that I had exceed to open that door, from the office! But boy! Did this surprise Matt, a lot more then, it had for me! Because of the way, he jolted aback a little, by looking a little surprised, by how I did open that door! Only, while I did! Boy, all I could do was look straight into those big dreamy, sexy brown eyes of his! And not anything else, that was around in that small office, in the dark! Which, as you know, was so nice for me! Really! It was, because of just glazing into those deepest, dark brown eyes of his, while I suddenly opened the door slightly, where he certainly backed away, like I just added, in the office that lights was not on!
As he probably didn't think to switch on the light, as well as, he didn't expect me to open it right there and then! But, for me, it was truly the most nicest moment that I will ever remember from that time! As, well as, mind you! That time while just waiting for me to either going in the shoe stock-room, so, while trying to get a customer their shoe box and was going up the ladders, near to the door, had quietly put his hand through the door to keep switching the lights on and then off! Which personally! Thinking about that, had thought, you bugger you! But, which once again, had truly really liked!
Or even, that time that just before, I came out to start! Matt would go and hide his gorgeous self in one of the changing-rooms! So, whenever I came out and would then go straight into the fitting-room, as usual, would bloody surprise me! When it came to me of reopening this certain curtain! That I at the time I had thought some customer had left down! But No! As you gathered, my darling, Matt was hiding himself in! And I do mean, hiding in to surprise your truly, when he probably heard me slowly coming toward that cubicle!
As I think he knew of how I would react to when I had came to opening that curtain that he was hiding in! I mean, it was when I suddenly saw that there, right in front of me was Matt standing with a huge big grin upon his soft silky face, looking straight directly at me! With those deep, mysterious, mesmerizing, melting, big brown eyes! As, well as, noticing he was giving this girl one hell of a dreamy, sexy smile! Which, what happened was, I simply ran, ran away from him! Leaving him to have a little laugh to himself! Not forgetting, there were those other times, while I was always trying to sort out the men’s jeans into size order, that he would simply come up and knock them all down! Followed by one of his silly little laughs! Which, even that, had done a little something to me, because of how Matt had put me in my place! Meaning, of how I would blush just slightly but, who had tried to hide it from Matt.
Playing Games - Chapter 3
Chapter 3
TRAPPED IN THE SHOE-STOCK ROOM
WITH MATT SITTING BETWEEN THE DOOR
SMILING AWAY
Then, of course, there was the time! The time, when Matt who I like to refer him as my darling, had quietly walked into the back, while I was in the shoe shock-room with one of the other girl’s, sorting most of the shoe boxes out! Or should that be, while we were trying to! Heard a noise! A noise that had sounded like a door, from the back was opening! And opening it had only shortly after that, I aka Sandy had heard a chair being moved from the staff-room, to the door of the shoe stock-room! Which, ok! At first, didn't try to bother what or who was moving or playing musical chairs! Only, I don't know what Abby had thought, as she was still sorting the shoe-boxes in our shock room!
Though, getting back to who was playing around with this dam chair, that now had certainly sounded was right in front of the door-way! The door-way to our shoe stock- room! And was trapping both myself and Abby, even though, they had finally allowed Abby to go! Had still decided to sit his huge fat ass on that dam chair! Even though, I can't really say that about him, being it was Matt! And of course, the way I felt for him! Just noticing Matt had that lovely, huge smile, upon his soft and gentle face! And those dam eyes of his glaring into mine, just, as always, couldn't look at him! Dam!
Because of every bloody time I had! Well Matt would always managed to send this girl do-la-le! As, in simply, feeling my tiny little hairs, at the back of my neck, was standing on end! Not to mention, "mind you," starting to feel like I had butterflies in my stomach! which, to be honest, I didn't quite understand! Because as these feelings, of mind was quite new to me! As, well as, feeling like my dam knees was trembling a little! Not forgetting, going a little shyer!
Playing Games - Chapter 4
Chapter
4
Not forgetting, "mind you" the time while I was working Matt had called me in the back for something! Which, I wondered, in a wishful-dreaming-thinking, oh, yeah! Now, what! Only, after wondering in the back I really had surprised myself! As, I saw Matt was lying back in a chair, in the staff room, with both of his legs right up onto the another chair! Giving me the most lovely smile! Which always placed me in a slight awkward position! Because, really you should have been there, to notice Matt was making me feel like he was trying to indicate something else, to me! Which, I could have been wrong! But, by god! Once again, I dreamt if only it that what I was thinking, was true! Then, for him playing around!
For it was the way he was simply making me feel all going shy-like inside of myself while wondering in the staff-room properly seeing both of his arms stretched out, at the back of his head, like he was relaxing! While still smiling away, at me with that mystifying look in his deep, dark mysterious, gorgeous and may I also add, his sexy brown eyes! But who did made out to yours truly, if you want to sit down, well why don't you sandy sit on my lap? Because of how he had got both of his legs, also still stretch out on the other chair! And secondly! It was how he had managed to allow me to start to feel like I going to blush in front of him! Which, because of this, it had made certainly made it so awkward for me, to stick around near to him!
Only, due to that I wasn't thinking straight, had suddenly dashed straight out from the staff-room, before I thought I would really had thought, I would even blush more! And in front of him! But no sooner then I did, I heard Matt started laugh a little to himself! Which, I felt like I was really now going to blush! But unfortunately, for poor me! What I couldn't forget was, no soon than I thought he was making me feel like this, while I was in there with him of course! And then, I dashed straight out of the staff-room, that his behaviour towards me, had suddenly turned to the worst!
Because Matt had then, changed into Mr Hyde, who as you know, from the character, in the novels or films that they were a horrible piece of work, to everyone! And I certainly do mean, with anyone that came across his path!
Though, I can definitely say, though, even though, those other complete "Barstards" from work didn't help either! Due to they also, had decided to play upon my emotions, so I wouldn’t know whether I was either coming or going of how I was now starting to feel! Feeling for while I was always around Matt! Which, I’ve got to say, the way he really had acted towards me! And I certainly do mean, me aka Sandy, probably would not act to anyone else! So, if it won't for my feelings for him, of course, would also, call the guy, a flaming "Barstard" also! Or "you Prick!
Especially, as I was sure Matt must have known somehow, that I was not being my usual self around them, but only himself! Which, was simply feeling like I was acting my old and true self! Which, of course was being really shy when I had just glanced into those remarkably, deep, melting big brown eyes of his! The only thing was, I had no idea of why Matt was being like this towards me! And me only! Because, one minute, Matt would act all nice as pie, by making yours truly laugh! Course of acting all silly-like! Then, the next of course, his behaviour would suddenly change! Change into someone that no one would really want to know! As, that's how ghastly he was, when this un-sudden behaviour had appeared!
Which, most of those times was actually while he was in changed and working along side with that bloody, snobby-bitch aka big Liz! As, she was known to me, but which I thought was entitled to a few more names! Because of how she had always made me feel, while hanging around Matt! Though, there was another good reason, of why I didn’t really want to be around Matt, if I knew Matt was going to be in charge! And in change, with that oh so pozy-nose, but lanky and hideous, gruesome, aka big Liz! And that was because whenever they would work together, well they would always reminded myself of all those awful, bad times that I had of being badly bullied! Bullied, by those nasty bullies from school, those many years ago!