Friday, 7 January 2000
Wednesday, 5 January 2000
"HELLO! "WHO'S HE?"
The first time I met him was when I walked into my work! And even though, our eyes didn’t meet, something had told me how was this tall, dark hair, mysterious stranger was going to start something off, in my so-crazy life? But how! All I do know was, when I had walked into work that day and noticed this guy, "and may I add," had looked so adorable! Leaning against a table with his arms folded, looking like he was in a little world of his own, while Deek, who was the Manager was at the till.
Who I secretly thought, that he looked a bit like that Actor, Ardal O' Halon, when he played that character of Father Dougal McGuire from that old, bet what was a well known hit, comedy series of Father Ted! But who was slightly shorter, with brownish hair, showing some pozy, tall, but ever so plain, lanky girl something on the till! While I still couldn't help myself, from noticing that guy, from the corner of my eye! That was learning against that big table, near to the entrance! And wondered, oh, he seems really nice to myself.
But saying that, well only time will tell! Oh yes! Only, time will tell, if that guy was going to be nice or not! As, for myself well, being a shy person as I am, wouldn't have thought for one moment then, that anyone like him, would bring my shyness above the surface, like I was when I was must younger! Because of wondering when I looked at him, he's nice! But, still who couldn’t seem to bring myself to go up to them, let alone speak to them.
Though, while coming back out, from where I got myself already for my shift, was told by our Deputy Manager, Faz, "that we’ve now have two new people starting today," "the one, who's with Deek, is called Liz, and the other, is Matt! For who must have been him, that I noticed just leaning against that table! With his arms still folded and looking slightly down, because as there weren't anyone else around, when I had came wondering back out, from our staff-room with Fazz!
Only, if you must know, seeing him as I did, had told yours truly, not to look at him! Even after I went up to this new girl Liz, so that I could introduce myself to her, just still couldn’t exactly look up at this quite good-looking guy! Not to mention, as I was walking past him so I could try and make way, towards the fitting-rooms, had still told myself not to turn around and look at this guy! But who which, had definitely brought a slight smile upon this girls face for sure, while I entered the fitting-room, hiding myself around the corner.
As, it was only then, that I decided to look at him, because of knowing no one could see me! Which once again, was how I met this so-called mysterious, slightly, gorgeous and yes! For who was extremely sexy also, after I had wondered in on that day! And even after knowing that he was going to be a member, that was he how was he going to start something off in my so-called crazy life? Because, for one! It was him that truly brought this girls smile right back upon her face, since her own Manager had got stitch up, right good and proper, by those that was in-change above of the place. Total Barstards!
Which of course had meant, it was only him! Him, that each time had made me laugh and smile at the same time! But who I didn’t realise at the time, that I would end up falling, madly in love with him! And even though, we did seem to get along like just good friends well unfortunately, for me it didn't take that long to realise that they were now starting to be a bit funny with me! As, in not in like, ha-de-ha-ha! But, how they were now all seem to be joining in together-like, as like a bunch of flaming idiots, to try to make it harder for me for not being a friend with Matt.
Especially, shortly after Fazz had decided to leave us, because of making me wonder that maybe, it was for the best, that me and Matt was not friend’s. Not because I wanted to! No! But, how they truly made it harder for me to continue of trying to be a really good friend with him. Only, all this as I said, didn’t really happen until, Fazz had decided to leave because what I can vaguely remember was just before he had, well what I noticed was Matt did still showed signs of his funny sense of humour around me! Which I liked a lot! Which I've got to admit, was nice to see! As, well as, he seemed to act like he really cared of what I thought of him for maybe, wanting to go for Fazzs' job, as Deputy Manager job! Because, all he kept on saying was, “would you mind so much Sandy, if I went for Fazzs' job?" Over and over again!
*And even though, that was then, and this is now, sixteen years on, since Matt had left our work. Well, as for myself, it's been really more like fifteen years on, since those feelings of mine for Matt had started to experience. Because as this was around the time, we all had been made redundant in January 2012. And I can definitely say that, that experience of my feelings over Matt, as still not changed one bit! Probably even more so now, then ever before, because what I liked about him in the first place, was how he had first acted all stupid-like, while he was around me, then, it was around the others! As well as, making me thinking to myself, he could have been slightly shy. But sadly again for me, at the same time, how he had always singled me out as well as, no matter how he treated me at times, just still couldn’t help myself from liking him even more then ever, because of those times that he really made me laugh, which was really nice for me to see!
CHASING MATT AROUND TO JUST TRY
AND GET MY BOOK BACK
For example! By how he got hold of my book, this one time and kept making this girl chasing him all around work while it was mostly quiet, thank god! Only, what happened shortly, was he went into the back with me following! And of course, because of my book, I couldn't get to him! Course of him running straight into the office! Which I could only describe, was like a very a small room, next door to the staff-room! And slammed the door on me! Making yours truly, to keep running up to door, like a flaming idiot as I was, banging on it, in for hoping it would open!
But, even though, I couldn't! Because of each time I ran back and bloody forth, towards the door, that I just at first, couldn't let the door to budge! And secondly, how something was just telling this girl that why, I'm I enjoying myself? Hey! Just why? Maybe! Just maybe, as I thought, it was hearing my darling Matt, laughing away, from the other side of the door! Which, once again, thought, I loved a little more then, been chased around from him in shop! Even though, he grab hold of my small writing book, that was filled with my thought of his, I certainly enjoyed myself!
As, well as, it could have been him! Him, from knowing that I was really trying so hard to push that dam door to open, with my elbow, over and over again-like! But, who luckily for me, I had an idea! An idea, course of half way, of just trying to reopen this door, that I wouldn't be at all surprised that Matt had held on from the other side! That great big twit, as I thought! But, who I couldn't help myself for liking it! Really!
Course, at first! This girl, meaning myself of course, while still on the floor laughing, along with him, which I did imagined it, had thought to herself I'll give it one more bash! In trying to open this sodden dam stupid door! Because I really didn't want him to see what was in my book, that's if he was going to do! So, as I finally got up, off the floor slowly, pretended I've had enough of doing this! This girl yet again, whammed her left elbow for the very last time, towards that office door! Only, once again this door wouldn't want to budge, which boy! Did I felt my elbow!
So, as this girl, Sandy Dazley had an idea! An idea, that would make out, that I've had enough, by pretending to go back out, course of wanting to see if Matt might actually give in! In reopening this stupid door! I had suddenly gave one more shot, in doing it again! Just to see what may happen, after hopefully trick Matt by doing this! Which, to my surprise, had finally saw that I had exceed to open that door, from the office! But boy! Did this surprise Matt, a lot more then, it had for me! Because of the way, he jolted aback a little, by looking a little surprised, by how I did open that door! Only, while I did! Boy, all I could do was look straight into those big dreamy, sexy brown eyes of his! And not anything else, that was around in that small office, in the dark! Which, as you know, was so nice for me! Really! It was, because of just glazing into those deepest, dark brown eyes of his, while I suddenly opened the door slightly, where he certainly backed away, like I just added, in the office that lights was not on!
As he probably didn't think to switch on the light, as well as, he didn't expect me to open it right there and then! But, for me, it was truly the most nicest moment that I will ever remember from that time! As, well as, mind you! That time while just waiting for me to either going in the shoe stock-room, so, while trying to get a customer their shoe box and was going up the ladders, near to the door, had quietly put his hand through the door to keep switching the lights on and then off! Which personally! Thinking about that, had thought, you bugger you! But, which once again, had truly really liked!
Or even, that time that just before, I came out to start! Matt would go and hide his gorgeous self in one of the changing-rooms! So, whenever I came out and would then go straight into the fitting-room, as usual, would bloody surprise me! When it came to me of reopening this certain curtain! That I at the time I had thought some customer had left down! But No! As you gathered, my darling, Matt was hiding himself in! And I do mean, hiding in to surprise your truly, when he probably heard me slowly coming toward that cubicle!
As I think he knew of how I would react to when I had came to opening that curtain that he was hiding in! I mean, it was when I suddenly saw that there, right in front of me was Matt standing with a huge big grin upon his soft silky face, looking straight directly at me! With those deep, mysterious, mesmerizing, melting, big brown eyes! As, well as, noticing he was giving this girl one hell of a dreamy, sexy smile! Which, what happened was, I simply ran, ran away from him! Leaving him to have a little laugh to himself! Not forgetting, there were those other times, while I was always trying to sort out the men’s jeans into size order, that he would simply come up and knock them all down! Followed by one of his silly little laughs! Which, even that, had done a little something to me, because of how Matt had put me in my place! Meaning, of how I would blush just slightly but, who had tried to hide it from Matt.
TRAPPED IN THE SHOE-STOCK ROOM
WITH MATT SITTING BETWEEN THE DOOR
Then, of course, there was the time! The time, when Matt who I like to refer him as my darling, had quietly walked into the back, while I was in the shoe shock-room with one of the other girl’s, sorting most of the shoe boxes out! Or should that be, while we were trying to! Heard a noise! A noise that had sounded like a door, from the back was opening! And opening it had only shortly after that, I aka Sandy had heard a chair being moved from the staff-room, to the door of the shoe stock-room! Which, ok! At first, didn't try to bother what or who was moving or playing musical chairs! Only, I don't know what Abby had thought, as she was still sorting the shoe-boxes in our shock room!
Though, getting back to who was playing around with this dam chair, that now had certainly sounded was right in front of the door-way! The door-way to our shoe stock- room! And was trapping both myself and Abby, even though, they had finally allowed Abby to go! Had still decided to sit his huge fat ass on that dam chair! Even though, I can't really say that about him, being it was Matt! And of course, the way I felt for him! Just noticing Matt had that lovely, huge smile, upon his soft and gentle face! And those dam eyes of his glaring into mine, just, as always, couldn't look at him! Dam!
Because of every bloody time I had! Well Matt would always managed to send this girl do-la-le! As, in simply, feeling my tiny little hairs, at the back of my neck, was standing on end! Not to mention, "mind you," starting to feel like I had butterflies in my stomach! which, to be honest, I didn't quite understand! Because as these feelings, of mind was quite new to me! As, well as, feeling like my dam knees was trembling a little! Not forgetting, going a little shyer!
WHAT IS MATT DOING WITH BOTH HIS LEGS UP?
WHAT IS MATT DOING WITH BOTH HIS LEGS UP?
AND PUTTING BOTH HIS ARMS AT
AND PUTTING BOTH HIS ARMS AT
THE BACK OF HIS HEAD SMILING?
THE BACK OF HIS HEAD SMILING?
Not forgetting, "mind you" the time while I was working Matt had called me in the back for something! Which, I wondered, in a wishful-dreaming-thinking, oh, yeah! Now, what! Only, after wondering in the back I really had surprised myself! As, I saw Matt was lying back in a chair, in the staff room, with both of his legs right up onto the another chair! Giving me the most lovely smile! Which always placed me in a slight awkward position! Because, really you should have been there, to notice Matt was making me feel like he was trying to indicate something else, to me! Which, I could have been wrong! But, by god! Once again, I dreamt if only it that what I was thinking, was true! Then, for him playing around!
For it was the way he was simply making me feel all going shy-like inside of myself while wondering in the staff-room properly seeing both of his arms stretched out, at the back of his head, like he was relaxing! While still smiling away, at me with that mystifying look in his deep, dark mysterious, gorgeous and may I also add, his sexy brown eyes! But who did made out to yours truly, if you want to sit down, well why don't you sandy sit on my lap? Because of how he had got both of his legs, also still stretch out on the other chair! And secondly! It was how he had managed to allow me to start to feel like I going to blush in front of him! Which, because of this, it had made certainly made it so awkward for me, to stick around near to him!
Only, due to that I wasn't thinking straight, had suddenly dashed straight out from the staff-room, before I thought I would really had thought, I would even blush more! And in front of him! But no sooner then I did, I heard Matt started laugh a little to himself! Which, I felt like I was really now going to blush! But unfortunately, for poor me! What I couldn't forget was, no soon than I thought he was making me feel like this, while I was in there with him of course! And then, I dashed straight out of the staff-room, that his behaviour towards me, had suddenly turned to the worst!
Because Matt had then, changed into Mr Hyde, who as you know, from the character, in the novels or films that they were a horrible piece of work, to everyone! And I certainly do mean, with anyone that came across his path!
Though, I can definitely say, though, even though, those other complete "Barstards" from work didn't help either! Due to they also, had decided to play upon my emotions, so I wouldn’t know whether I was either coming or going of how I was now starting to feel! Feeling for while I was always around Matt! Which, I’ve got to say, the way he really had acted towards me! And I certainly do mean, me aka Sandy, probably would not act to anyone else! So, if it won't for my feelings for him, of course, would also, call the guy, a flaming "Barstard" also! Or "you Prick!
Especially, as I was sure Matt must have known somehow, that I was not being my usual self around them, but only himself! Which, was simply feeling like I was acting my old and true self! Which, of course was being really shy when I had just glanced into those remarkably, deep, melting big brown eyes of his! The only thing was, I had no idea of why Matt was being like this towards me! And me only! Because, one minute, Matt would act all nice as pie, by making yours truly laugh! Course of acting all silly-like! Then, the next of course, his behaviour would suddenly change! Change into someone that no one would really want to know! As, that's how ghastly he was, when this un-sudden behaviour had appeared!
Which, most of those times was actually while he was in changed and working along side with that bloody, snobby-bitch aka big Liz! As, she was known to me, but which I thought was entitled to a few more names! Because of how she had always made me feel, while hanging around Matt! Though, there was another good reason, of why I didn’t really want to be around Matt, if I knew Matt was going to be in charge! And in change, with that oh so pozy-nose, but lanky and hideous, gruesome, aka big Liz! And that was because whenever they would work together, well they would always reminded myself of all those awful, bad times that I had of being badly bullied! Bullied, by those nasty bullies from school, those many years ago!
THE TIME THAT MATT WAS STANDING THERE
ONLY, HOW DID HE KNOW, I WAS JUST AROUND?
Now, on this one occasion, while I had this day off, well I had saw Matt while coming out from the ladies toilets at the Kingfisher Centre! Leaning against the wall, that was opposite, looking slightly down at the floor, then who slowly glanced back up! Where I wondered how on earth did Matt knew I was around here, at this precise moment? Just tell me that! How? As, well as, why else, was he just hanging around here, doing absolutely nothing, but looking down, then who slowly glanced back up, as I came out strolling out from where I had been! Because for me, this had felt he somehow knew I was around there! Waiting for me to come out from where I had been!
But no sooner than he saw me, then he slowly approach, to ask me, “are you doing anything important Sandy? Which, to be perfectly frank, had got a little confused into where this was heading! Until, he asked another question! A question which was asking me, “could you possibly come in to help us out, for a few hours? Which, I thought, oh, Matt! I would do just absolutely anything for you Matt! Because, there was something about Matt that truly made myself feel like I was going into a little world of my own! Or! Or going onto cloud nine, with a dreamy smile upon my face!
Even though, how I told him, “I’m doing something Matt," "so I’m sorry I can’t help you! Matt had always, somehow, sent me in a trance! Oh, yes! Matt had always seemed to put yours truly, in a trance! Like he was trying to hypnotise me, just by glancing deeper and deeper into those beautiful, lovely deepest, dark, mesmerising brown eyes of his! And whenever he had also, used to smile at me of course! So, as always, I just could never refuse him, while walking along side him, toward work! With a little smile upon my face, thinking at the time, that this was so nice of walking along side by side, with you, Matt! Because, of thinking, it was going to be a fine day, when I got in! But was I so wrong in thinking that!
Course, after asking Matt, “where does these jeans go? Because of it being a new item, that must have come, while I wasn't there! Not only gave this girl such a strange look! But which he had shouted from the back of the shop, while being close to that "Bitch" aka big Liz! Who once again, and more than less, had a very thin-pointy nose, shooting out like Pinocchio! Because she was more like one of those toffee-nose sobs! That thought, they probably knew everything, then anyone else! Had shouted, while he was with her, “my god! “What do you mean, you don’t know where those jeans go?"
But while he made yours truly, look ever so stupid, added, by crying out loud, “how long have you been working here Sandy?" "Hey! "Just how long? Then, what’s more! What Matt had surprisingly said next, could say, had truly hurt my feelings so deeply! Because of what he said was! “Do you know, what each day, I can’t wait for it to be over! "Because of how you always frustrate me so! Then, after asking him, “well do you want me to leave then? Turned suddenly, to that repulsive, hideous big Liz again! Then, who turned back to myself and said, right in my face, “oh! “Why, don’t you go away! "As, I can't stand of seeing you Sandy! Which, what had shocked me even more so, was hearing Matt had yelled out that, “because I can’t stand the sight of you!
Which, coming from him personally, had once again, truly hurt my feelings! And I certainly do mean, he had hurt my feelings so deeply then, anyone could imagine! But, what was so worse! Was, it came from Matt himself! Who I had simply thought, before of going into work, oh! Matt, I'll do absolutely anything for you! Just anything! Then, helping anyone else, that worked there! But part of me had thought, why did you have to turn into Mr Hyde right now! Course, just shortly after he had said those awful things to me, he simply carrying on by saying, "why, don't you get out of my face," "as I can't stand the sight of you!
Which, at first, didn't really understand! Understand. because of why he would say such things like that, to me! Since it was himself, that had asked me to come in, in the first place! So, the way, I was now starting to feel! But, who just didn’t want to show it, in front of him especially, was my feelings! And why! Well it was truly what he said, had made me feel like I was really going to start crying, right there and then, in front of him! Not to mention, that "snobby," "Concorde," "rhinoceros" which boy! Had truly looked-like she had an hooter, just like Pinocchio! Because, of that snobby look that she had about her! That "Barstard! As, for getting back to him! Well just maybe, he wanted to show off in front of her! But once again, because I had tried to stop myself from crying, in from of him more, did not help one bit! Because, shortly after, Matt had said all that, he left me in total speechless! Course, oh boy! As I didn’t truly expect anything like that, to come from him, especially as I came in, on that day for just Matt and not for helping out, either!
Because of just remembering noticing Matt was leaning on that wall, opposite to the ladies toilets, on my day off! And then asking me nicely, with that gorgeous look, "if you would kindly help us, at work? Which, coming from him! Had actually, thought, because of that, well who knows, this day may be a nice day after all! But lets just say, if I knew what was going to happen shortly after we got in, I probably wouldn't go! Because it was the way, Matt had really spoken to me! Course, truly, I only gone into work, on my day off because of him, Matt! And not because of work had probably needed some help! It was all him! Matt!
Only, what I truly didn’t expect to happen was, while I was walking away from both of them, tears was starting to flood down upon my face! And only tears, may I add, as, I did not to be crying properly! As, it just seemed to be tears running down from my face, while I went so nearer to the front of the shop! Yet, no sooner that I walked away, from idiots, and who tried to get back with my work! Work, that was sorting the clothes out, into size ordering, that I at the same time, tried not to allow any one of our customers notice me! Because of how deeply Matt had hurt my feelings, by hiding my tears! By frankly, how and what he said to me, while standing so close to a clothes-stand! Had noticed some customer had also spotted me while trying to hide myself through a clothes stand! Looking as if they were trying to say, what's wrong with you?
But, what was even more worst! Was shortly after I had returned from them both, from the back had noticed this one customer, as they were on the way out, had spotted me! Trying to handle my emotions, that really Matt had done to me, whistle he was with that vulgar, snobby, toffee-nose cow! Which, of course was aka big Liz! "The bitch! Had also, noticed her looking at me, through the corner of my eye! As, she seemed to be hanging around the till, doing something! Or was she?
Course, what was going through my mind then! Was, could she be possibly have been there, to get back at Matt! For telling him, what was going on with me! Course, no sooner then I noticed her, that she rushed straight back to Matt! Which, I did thought, was slightly funny! But at the same time, had thought, I was safe for that brief moment! That was until, Matt had suddenly reappeared in front of my face! With those gorgeous, beautiful, melting plus, captivating sexy brown eyes saying, "now, what’s wrong with you Sandy? Which, I had thought, as if you didn’t know what was wrong with me Matt! But instead, of telling him the truth! I just told him, “I’ve got a headache," "a terrible headache!
Which, I was so sure, that while I was telling him this, that he possibly knew in some way, he didn't believe! Because I wasn’t telling him the truth! So, as I was waiting for some sarcastic comment from him, all that Matt had said was, “go in the back then! Which, after coming straight back out, had sure noticed Matt was looking directly at me! With that amazingly, deep look in those lovely, beautiful big brown eyes of his! Which, did puzzled me, as I wasn't so sure what to make of that look really! Even though, Matt could have even tried to tell me, "oh, grow-up! I really had enjoyed that look he was giving me! So, you could even say, I dreamt, but what if Matt had given me that look to say, "hey! Sandy if only you knew I liked you!
THE FIRST TIME MATT ACTED LIKE MR. HYDE!
FROM "DR JYKLE AND MR HYD,"
Though, that wasn’t the first time that Matt had truly acted hastily towards me! Because the first time that I can ever remember, was shortly after he and that toffee-nose bitch! Who! As you know, was aka big Liz! Had started to work for us! Or should that be slightly before, their first Christmas with us! Which, I think was around October or November of 2005. There again! It could have been, in the year of 2006, that Matt had decided to be absolutely horid to me! By saying over and over, “oh, I love blondes, I do" "and pretty ones!
Which, after Matt had turned, he more then less, ended up saying, “well, you don’t think I was talking about you, did you? Which, to be perfectly frank! Honestly didn’t know of why he was saying all that, to me! Course, firstly! Of being a brunette! And secondly! How I already knew full well that Matt liked blondes in the first place! Because as it was coming up to Christmas, most of the other staff had really wanted to know of how we were going to celebrate our Christmas!
So, after suggesting, of having a Christmas party, including a meal, well after Matt had popped out! He had popped out of his way, to fetch a menu for us! Only, when he had came wondering back, well for some unknown reason, Matt had first threw what looked-like a white Sports Band towards me! Course, earlier that day, I told Deek that I didn't feel quite like a member of the Staff! Which, besides himself! Matt had only brought one other Sports Band for myself! Which, till this day onwards, has still treasure it! Because it was from him personally! Sounds silly! But, really, that's what I had done! I had kept that White Sports Band besides my bed, because of it being from Matt, himself!
Anyway, getting back to eventually asking each of us to come into the back, to tell him of what we wanted from the menu that he had just brought for us! Well lets just say when it came to my turn, into going into the staff-room with him! Well before, getting interrupted by one of the Christmas temps, Mia! Who sadly for me, saw her peeping through the door while I thought I heard Matt saying something nice to me! And I do mean, it sounded so nice, to me! Suddenly must have realized it was saying this to Mia then myself! Which, of course, was when I found out Matt must have really liked blondes! And pretty ones! Because Mia was not only blonde! But who was pretty as well! But getting back to what Matt had said all those things to me, shortly after seeing everyone, about what they wanted! Because whether he knew it or not! Even though, I knew it! There was still no need for him to be that nasty, of saying what he had said, before going!
Because what he ended up by saying was, “well you didn’t think I was talking about you? "Did you? "Hey! Though, the only thing was, whenever Matt was always like this to me, well no matter how he was, I still couldn’t fight back! Or even have a right go at him, like I probably would have, if it was anyone else, from work! Which, I know I should have done! But really at the time, couldn’t when it always came to Matt! Because whenever I saw him around! Well it was like Matt had always, seemed to have done something to this girl, aka myself! Even though, at times, Matt was mostly swearing to my face! By saying, "fuck off," over and over again! Plus, that angry look in his eyes! As if to say, "I can't stand you! Making me feel though! Why, I couldn't do a dam thing right, with you, Matt! And yes! At times, I did thought, why is that idiot, treating me in this way! Just why? And why, only me?
Course, of just imaging, what would it be liked if Matt had acted like a nicer person towards me, then the way he was! But, as for imagining now, what would I want to meet Matt yet, again! After all these years, if someone would asked me, that is? Well, would I? The answer to that is, "I don’t know! Course, of the way, he had acted most of the times towards me aka Sandy, back then! Like acting as if he was Mr Hyde then, rather such a nice guy! As, I had once thought he was! But who was only nicer to the others! So, my answer again, to that question if I was asked would still be, "there is no way, I could not see that from happening! "Just no way! Course, of knowing how Matt was, with me back then! As, if I was the problem! Because normally, I would always get along with guys, then girls, in my past! Even way before Matt had wondered into my work! I had always seemed to get along with guys! So, it must have been Matt himself that had the problem, then thinking it was me! Because boy! Did Matt had truly made out to myself, that he really dislike me! Or even hated bring around me, while I was there! The "Barstard!
So, even though I had thought I knew of why I couldn’t! Is that I always felt I couldn't do anything when it came to only Matt! But there again, this was only that I was trying not to admit it to myself, that the truth behind of it was, deep down it was my feelings for him! Oh yes! It was differently my feelings, alright! As, there was just something about Matt now, that I honestly felt I loved! And yes! It was probably from the first moment, I clapped eyes on him! Leaning against that big table, with his arms folded! And just looking like he was in a little world of his own, near to the entrance of our shop! As I wondered in that sunny day, thinking to myself why, he looks-like he was slightly shy! Which, oh boy! All that had came to my mind then was, a huge Aww!
Because it was even every dam time, that whilst I noticed Matt of smiling away, that while he may have thought, I wasn’t looking at him, had got me going in a shy mode! Course of not wanting to admit it then, that had left this girl thinking, secretly, to herself, oh, Matt! Matt! Matt! Matt! If only you would embrace me so! Because truthfully, it wasn't the way he simply made this girl feel at times! Whenever I saw those big, adorable eyes of his! But of his smile also! But did that stop me from dreaming! No! As I really wanted to imagine, what if you really would take me in your arms Matt! As, I would really don’t think I would ever want to let you go!
Though, whether it was good or bad! Whenever it came to Matt, I had always thought the world of him! Even though, I knew full well, he didn’t like me! I really had meant every word, of what I thought of him! By telling myself that I do dream of him, of wondering what if only Matt could just take me in his arms and whisper sweet nothings, in my ear! Not forgetting, dreaming, embracing me! Which, would be vice a versa! But also, dreaming I wouldn't be at all surprised that this girl would even dare herself to give this guy a real kiss on his soft, tender red lips, then on his cheek! Which, sounds corny! As, well as, silly! But was also, true!
Course, I've never been kiss romantically by anyone! And I do mean, by anyone! Well you could say, ever since I had kiss Matt on his soft tender cheek! And I had! I had always wanted to dreamt, but what if Matt had given me a kiss! Then, someone else! Because it t was only Matt! But course, Matt had showed his true colours back then, well, this girl was not like some girls those days! Which, who just wanted to know a guy, for just sex! But like always, there was another time Matt had to acted so ghastly to yours truly, while Deek was off! And as usual! It was mostly when that snobby-nose bitch aka big Liz was always around! Who as you should know by the way, I speak of her! Couldn't stand the sight of her!
And why! You may well ask! Well, it was always because, she had some what reminded yours truly of one of those awfully snobby peoples around! Or even those kids, while I was still at school, that thought, they were really better then the rest had put together! So, once again, whenever they were always used to hang around together, doing something, well it had always seemed they had pretty much wanted to make my day so miserable! By picking on me until, they both thought, that they had enough! So, while they were always working together-like, well they were more acting like a part of bullies! unfortunately, this time they had seemed to be playing with my emotions! So, I wouldn’t know whether I was coming or going!
THE DAY'S, THAT I DREADED OF
COMING INTO WORK!
Now, as you know I always dreaded of when Deek had took time off! Because of knowing full well of what each day may bring! Because of knowing what Matt and that stick-insect aka big Liz, which again, looked-like a total snobby-nose bitch! Had both wanted to play upon my feelings! As, well as, seeing how far they could possibly take it! Which, half of the time, I’m sure they knew by how I would react to it! And secondly! Of what happened shortly after they both decided to stop! So, they could see while I was trying to carry on with my work! But after seeing Matt standing near to the front of the shop, looking like he could have not been feeling to good, had felt like doing something nice to cheer him up! But what I had thought was a only a nice gesture to cheer him up! Had turned horribly wrong for me! Because after thinking Matt would take this, as a nice compliment! Well Matt just flipped out at me! Leaving poor me, feeling like I could have cried on the spot!
But as I stopped myself from crying, didn't mean, to say he hadn't hurt my feelings! Course, he had! Only, why should I had felt like that! Where all I did was write how I thought I liked him! Even maybe possibly added, I think I love you, in the most nicest way! As, it was not like that I loved you like that then! It was just to try and cheer the guy up! Which, I know I shouldn’t have done! Because that big idiot aka Matt, didn't take that as a nice compliment! But, who twisted it around to try to say that I was harassing him! That sodding "Barstard!
Because if that was anyone else, well they would have taken that, as a really, lovely compliment-like! But, once again! I wondered did Matt actually find that, a very nice compliment from me? Well did he? Well, the answer to that was, no he didn't! As he acted like a complete prick! And that's no mistake! In thinking I was harassing him! Him! Who I had always thought the world of! And who I couldn’t hurt his feelings, even if I wanted to! Had certainly made out, in front of my face by saying, "just wait till Deek gets back tomorrow! "As you can't harass me!
Anyway, as he tried to make out that I was really harassing him, with some help from his best friend and colleague! Big Liz, who if anyone had saw her, had looked-like a tall, but thin, stick-insect in my eyes! Because that the way, she had looked! Besides that nose of hers, that looked-like a snobby toffee nose witch! And boy! I do mean, that! As I couldn't help myself thinking whenever seeing her around Matt, you are a total bitch! And that’s no mistake Big Liz! Because of how I didn’t always have a leg to stand on, when it came to them both working together! But like I said! If that was anyone else, then what I had written, would certainly take it as a nice compliment! Then, rather, what he more then less, had done! While being with her!
So, after Matt had mentioned, “just wait till Deek comes back tomorrow! Could say had freak me out! Even trying to reason with him! Had didn’t help one bit! Course, I ended up pretty much in tears, especially after leaving work! Which, Matt must have known what was going on while noticing me going straight into see my friends, in Wacky’s crying! As for the following day, as I knew what was coming went before going into work, I had went into the small coffee shop called Costas that was around the corner of work, to prepare myself of what was going to come! But what I didn’t get was, just as I was on my way there, well I had caught a slight glimpse of both Matt and Deek peering around the corner of the front entrance, to our shop, grinning like you would not believe!
Only, after sometime, while I was starting to go for my NVQ in Retail! The person that was helping me for this, had told them, how Matt had acted after what I did! Which their immediate reaction was anger! Or to be precise! Livid! Because of what they said to me was, “my god! “Do you mean to say, they are trying to say you were harassing Matt because of what you written for him?" Said, "yes! Which, once again, if that was anyone else, would have taken that as a nice compliment! Not flaming twisted it around, so it would look-like they've been harass instead!
GUESS WHO'S BEHIND YOU SANDY?
Now, as for when another Christmas was drawing more upon us, well something unusual happened! Which, was not only a little odd! But who I thought, what the hell, was going on here? And I couldn’t say that this time it had involved Matt! Because Matt weren’t there! Because, of having two weeks off! Which, again, brings me back to what happened that seemed a little to odd and strange! Because what happened was! Just minute’s after seeing Deek giving me the most biggest grin, while talking to Lynette from Wacky’s, he had then came wondering back over! Over to where big Liz was working and said quietly! But which I couldn't help of over-hearing him say, “we have got to get Matt and Sandy together?
Only, what did he meant, by that! As I sure don't know! Only that, was what he had said to her, shortly after he came back in! While I was hanging near to the fitting-rooms, not far from where they were both were! And who really couldn’t help noticing Deek was also looking straight at me, at the same time! Still smiling away, like that Cheshire-cat from Alice in Wonderland!
Anyway, when it came to Matt's second week off! Well, brother! What happened was, who should be wondering into work, while Deek was giving me a hand with some jeans! Jeans, that was on one of the tables, closer to the entrance? As well as, who was walking so blooming quietly, that I didn’t even hear them, walking up behind me! But Matt and Ben! Oh yes! It was both Matt and Ben, alright! And as they came wondering in, as they did, could say had surprise this me! Especially, after hearing that deep and sexy voice of Matts! As, he had the most lovely voice, if he didn't decide to turn into that nasty, Mr Hyde!
Though, saying this! It seemed that it was the way Matt was standing right behind me, with one of his smiles! And boy! I do mean, one of his smiles, that had always managed to knock this girl out! But it was when he suddenly said, “what are you doing with my jeans Sandy? As well as, how I had reacted to his deep and once again, his sexy voice, when he crept up behind me, as he had and said all that to me! Because, boy! Did he made me jump! Because honestly! It was when I had turned around and saw Matt who was standing just a few inches from me, smiling away, that did it!
Which, like I had said, whenever I saw him just smiling at me, had always seemed to managed to either brought my shyness back upon my face which I couldn’t help! Or simply knock this girl way out! Because no sooner then I saw him looking straight at me, with those amazing big brown eyes, that I started to think, oh my god Matt! What the hell, are you trying to do to me! Course, all I was really trying to do was, carry on with my work! Work that while they had wanted to talk to Deek at the same time, had suddenly turned to Deek and tried to say so quietly to him, "would you just mind if I go Deek? “oh! “Please Deek! Can I go!
Anyway, just shortly after I had saw both Pete and Leah then coming wondering into work, Pete went straight to the guys! While Leah herself, had came wondering towards me, with a huge smile upon her face! Which, all that came to mind! Was there’s nothing wrong in that! The only thing was, while Leah was looking straight at me, she had one minute, kept on turning herself around to the guys! Still looking-like that they were smiling directly at me also!
NOW, DID I HEAR RIGHT?
"MATT FANCIES ME!
Then, just two weeks before yet, another Christmas had approached, well while I just finished work on this day what seemed so strange, happened! As it was when I came back in for something, but who after seeing Ben and Matt, not doing nothing but hanging around! Around nearer to the front of the till could be mistaken by what I overheard next! Course, as I had wondered in! Well at first, they could have been just talking away to Deek, who was doing something at the till! Yet, while I was approaching the till, well while Deek was on the phone to somebody, that is! I had suddenly, like I mentioned, over-heard Ben saying to Matt, “Matt fancies Sandy!
Which, made me question to myself, did I hear right? As well as, why on earth would Ben say such a silly thing like that! Knowing that Matt had never liked me! Not to mention, that Ben had really taken me by complete surprise! Because of also, noticing Matt was looking slightly at me, in what seemed in a very, very shy way! But who was trying to make out he didn't hear what Ben had said!
Though, saying this! While Matt had been looking directly straight at me, with that amazing shy look in those gorgeous big brown eyes of his! Well, what I couldn't help noticing was just Matt more! Maybe! Just maybe, it was more his sexy voice, saying, “watch out," "something will happen! Or it could have been, “watch it," "because something will happen! Either way! That was what Matt had said, while at the same time, trying not to look straight at me, but who couldn't help he had!
Which, what was going through my mind then was, Aww! Aren't you lovely Matt! You big brown eyes, you! Because his damn, big, dreamy, brown eyes don't tell lies, while I couldn't help gazing into them! While, at the same time had brought a shy look upon my face! And who can't blame me, course, oh boy! Those eyes of his, are always certainly doing something to me, alright!