Wednesday, 5 January 2000

Playing Games - Chapter 6


Chapter 6


Though, that wasn’t the first time that Matt had truly acted hastily towards me, because the first time that I can remember was shortly after he and Liz had started to work for us or should that be slightly before their first Christmas, with us well, Matt had decided to be absolutely horrible to me one day by saying over and over, “I love blondes I do" "and pretty ones.”  Which, after turning to me, ended up saying, “well you don’t think I was talking about you, did you!  Which, to be perfectly frank, honest didn’t know of why he was saying this to me, course, of firstly, being a brunette.  As well as, I already knew full well, that he could have liked blondes because, as it was coming up to Christmas, well most of the others had really wanted to know of how we were going to celebrate our Christmas.

So, after suggesting of having a Christmas party, including a meal afterwards, well after Matt had gone out of his way to get a menu for us, he came back in to eventually ask each of us to come in the back to tell him of what we wanted from the menu?  Which, when it came to my turn well, while I was only thinking of what to have had suddenly thought, did I hear right!  Because, basically what I thought I had heard, was Matt saying something really nice to me even though I didn’t quite catch it, because, it was just a bit to quiet for me to really hear his very nice voice properly.   

 Only sadly, as I looked up just, slightly suddenly saw that it wasn’t me that Matt was saying all those nice things two, but to one of our younger Christmas staff, Mia, who I saw her peering through the door waiting to ask Matt for something.  And yes!  That was when I found out Matt must have really liked blondes and pretty ones, because Mia was not only blonde, but who was pretty!  But getting back to what Matt had actually said all those things to me, because whether he knew it or not, of how I knew it, well there was still no need for him to be that nasty!  

Especially, when he had ended up by saying to me, “well you didn’t think I was talking about you?  "Did you, hey!  The only thing was whenever Matt was always like this towards me, well no matter how he was to me, I still couldn’t fight back or even have a right go at him, like I probably would have, if it was anyone else from work!  Which I know I should have done, but once again, I just couldn’t when it came to Matt, because whenever I saw him, it was like he had always done something to me in a nice way, but who at the same time didn’t know he had!  So, maybe that was what was stopping me from having a right go at him but then again I don’t think I would ever want too even though how he was most of the times too me. I could not! 

But at times, even though, I probably knew of why I couldn’t and I do mean, that I couldn't  do anything when it always came to Matt, was trying not to admit to myself that the truth behind of it was that deep down, it was my feelings for him!  As, there was just something about this guy, I honestly loved from the moment I first saw him leaning against that table with his arms folded and looking like he was in a world of his own!  Because it was every time I saw him smiling away, or at times just seeing him trying to look at me while he may have thought, I wasn’t trying to look at him at the same time.  Which I’ve got to admit, always left me thinking, secretly, 'oh, Matt! 'Matt! 'Matt!  'If only you would embrace me so!  Because of the way he was just making me feel, at certain times, whenever I would see that smile of his, had also, made me start dreaming, 'if only you really would take me in your arms, then, I don’t think I would ever want to let you go!    

And, whether it was good times or bad, when it always came to Matt, that I had always thought the world of, meant every word of it!  Even though, I knew that he certainly didn’t like me, had meant every word, of what I thought of him!  Even if that meant, I had always dreamt away, of Matt, like I had, saying to myself, at times though, 'if only you Matt would take me in your arms, and say a few words in my ear then I would also not only want you to embrace me and vice a versa, but I would give you a kiss.

Anyway, again, there was even another time that Matt had to be so horrible to me while  Deek was off and of course, Liz was there, like always, because like every time whenever they were hanging around together, doing something that they really then seemed to want to make sure that I would be as miserable as I can be, by picking on me until they both thought that I had enough!  Only, this time they had seemed to be playing with my emotions so I wouldn’t know whether I was coming or going!

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