Wednesday, 5 January 2000

Playing Games - Chapter 17



 Chapter 17


                                                               SANDY'S SECRET 

                               THAT I REALLY SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD DEEK!

                                  COURSE, GUESS WHO WAS LISTENING?

                                                  BUT MATT, HIMSELF!


 Then, there was even a time while I had a day off, but which had a phone call from work, of asking, "can you please come on in Sandy?"  Which after asking them, if Matt was going to be there?"  As, I wouldn't otherwise, replied back, "oh no, Matt isn't in today."  Because, of how he and that "total fucking bitch," aka big Liz, had made out that I was harassing him, course, I thought at the time, that all I wanted to try and do was cheer Matt, by saying something nice to him.  

 Which, was really what happened yesterday, as well as thinking, this might be the best time to have a quiet word with Deek, because of what he might have thought of why I was having a problem with Matt.  Which I didn’t, of course!  But, who, after going into work to just let Deek know of why he thought I was acting in such away over Matt, thought, 'I should really put Deek straight about why I was?  

 Only, after I went in, whom should be the first person I see, of hanging around, near the front?  But Matt!  Which as soon as I saw him, hoped he wouldn’t want to join in the back, while Deek was going to talk to me, because as I didn't want him to listen away to what I was going to say!  So, while trying to avoid looking at Matt, looked at Deek, and asked him, “I want a quiet word with you, in the back?"  Because, this was really about how I was going to explain to Deek of why, I was acting the way I had, towards Matt whenever he was around me!

 Though, after asking Deek, “could I have a quiet word with you?"  Do believe, Matt had probably thought that he should have also been included, because of being a Deputy Manager.  But no sooner then I knew that he wanted to join, that I asked Deek,  in a quiet tone of voice, if "you wouldn’t mind in Matt not being here with us," "as I only really want to speak to you, Deek, on your own."  Because, of wondering, what he might think, of me, if he heard of what I had to say to Deek! 

 Only, while we were in the Staff-room, Deek asked me, while I just sat down facing my back to the door, that, “do you mind if the door could stay open in case, I’m needed?"  Which, okay!  I thought, at the time, had no problem with it.  But, no sooner then he said this, that, he said,  "Sandy, I'm just popping out, for a second in case, someone needed me!  So, as he went out, leaving me on my own for a while, well after coming back in and apologising for stepping out, as he did, finally asked me, “now, Sandy, what did you want to talk to me about?"  

 Thought, while trying to explain him the reason, of why he thought I had a so-call problem with Matt, but who I truly hadn't!  Said, “oh!  “Deek, if only I still had my photo of Robson, still stuck on my locker?"  Because only then, that I can still say that I love him!  But whom, before I can continue, added, that Robson, as in "Robson Green," is a Geordie Actor, whom I only saw him as a hero, of mine and not one of my old infatuations that I kept on having while growing-up.  

 Though, who this girl really had adored, for twenty-two years, back then, before allowing "herself," which I'm talking of myself, to really care so much, for Matt, into my so-call crazy life.  As I truly believed he had, which sounded crazy!  But, in some way, knew he wouldn't have liked me as a friend or a person!  But, which I just couldn't help myself, being a real hopelessly romantic person, as I am, and who kept on dreaming about, well would have it been liked, if we were friends?

 Anyway, as soon as I said something to Deek, well I suddenly thought for a split second did I hear something?  Course, as I stopped to just turn myself around, still sitting, first thought, was there someone that crept in?  But there wasn’t anyone around, as I could see, but boy!  Was I wrong, in thinking that, because no sooner then I had looked again, then I saw it was Matt that was trying to hide himself from me, while I was trying to explain of why I was being the way I was, towards him, but who just slightly notice that, that fool, as in Matt, had given me the most biggest smile, like he was turning a little shy.  Which beings me, to how long had Matt been there?  Because of thinking, that he could have been listening to every word, I was telling Deek. 

 Especially, that part of when I was trying to tell Deek that, “if only Robson’s photo, could have still been on my locker," because then I can say, I love him,” which again, had thought, while I was only trying to talk away, to Deek in the back away, from you know who?  Couldn't help of  thinking to myself, was Matt listening to all this?  But quietly!  Because, as I was sure that I heard the back door of opening slightly, without slamming it well, whoever had opened it in the first place, noticed at the same time, no other member of staff had came wondering past the staff-room door, which you would have thought, would have have!  

 So, while trying to tell Deek of why, I was the way I was, over Matt, looked at Deek so carefully, because there was a brief moment that he turn to look from the outer-side of the door smiling away, to see who could have been there, listening away, to me!  Which, like I briefly said, had, turned myself, very quickly around and saw, there standing in between the two doors, of the staff-room door and the office, was Matt, smiling away at me.  So, if I wasn't mistaken, Matt must have slightly heard of what I was saying to Deek after all, which, after turning back to Deek, Deek was giving me a huge smile two, as if he had already probably knew that he was going to be there.  So, what was going on?

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