Wednesday 5 January 2000

Playing Games - The Epilogue





As this is the end of my story what I would like to tell you is why I’ve really written about how I first met Matt through work and why I had thought in the first place that this guy could start something off in my crazy life?  Was that once long ago, my sister had convinced me of going to see a Clairvoyant because of what someone had said something about certain things to me which could say had scared me in the past!

 So, after we were driven there by one of my cousin’s then waited for a short time, must confess that even though I was intrigue to know of what may be said doesn’t mean to say I say I wasn’t slightly worried in some respect.  Because this Clairvoyant may say either good or bad things about what may happen to my coming future!

 So, when the time did come of me seeing this Clairvoyant (which may I add) was a Professional and not some NUT as some may say that thinks they can tell people’s future had first introduced herself as Kim Lee who told us first of how other people she saw had said about her, because of how good she was by telling their future.  So, maybe this was all due down to make me feel more relaxed around her, while she was going to tell me my future through rubbing something of mine which turned out to be my watch!  But still, I wouldn’t say I weren’t now nervous as I was because of what she was now going to say.

 (1) * Which first after telling me, “things isn’t been going to well for you in the past,” she then said, “but don’t worry there as I can see things will start to get better for you, for sure!

 (2) * But which after saying that, she had mentioned “have you got a friend that has breast Cancer?  Which was only then, that I had thought how spooky was all that because even though she may have said, “have you got a friend with you know what?  Just couldn’t help for turning round to look at my sister, because once again, of what she said!  Why!  Well you could say it was just how my face had seriously gone so pale like you would say white as a sheet because at this precise time my sister had added, that she could be classified as a friend since we knew she was recently diagnose as a Cancer patient from what this Clairvoyant had just predicted!

 (3) * Anyway, next what I can remember was this Clairvoyant had asked me, “If I knew anyone that I either could have known in your past or present that I truly cared about?  Which must say had got me puzzled because let’s just say I’m not like that sort of person that would really want to know a guy for only SEX!  Or that had loads of boyfriends in her past! 

 So, basically what I’m trying to say is who could this Clairvoyant be referring to if I don’t know of any guys in that way!  Which then my sister butted in, by saying to this Clairvoyant because at this precise time she stopped to figure out from of who she maybe talking about because of noticing of my confusion over it, “oh!  “I know who it could be!  Which as she said this had still made me feel quite confused because still who could this person be?  That my sister as made me thought she knew who it could be!  If once again, I don’t know any guy in that way as I’ve always seen myself as a very, very shy person.

 (4) * Then, still rubbing my WATCH this Clairvoyant had sense that I was a Spiritual person which no sooner then she had said this that it brought back that time I went through some experience that I can’t really explain exactly only that it really did happen to me!  Which, shortly after going through this and told my parents well let’s just say they had both agreed that what I must have experience or gone through must have been a near death experience!  Because what other explanation, was there for what I just told them, if I know for sure that it definitely wasn’t a dream no matter what others may say or think!  It sure was NOT a DREAM!

 (5) * Now, as for what she said next was, “I can also see you are a Animal lover more cats then dogs,” which then after looking over to my sister, said, “as I can see you prefer dogs then cats,” which if I can remember there did nod to indicate yes! 

Then when she turned back to me she had continued to say after asking me of whether I had already had a cat?  And I replied, “yes!  I have but only the one!  Well she then had suddenly said, “is it a black and white cat?

 Which after telling her no!  And told her that, “my cat is all black,” she then told me of “how I may have a black and white cat, either as a gift or it may just wonder in your home!  Which, for saying this, did make me smile but yet at the same time couldn’t help but wondering about where does this leave my own cat then?

As I sure didn’t want to feel that I may lose her!  Which then the Clairvoyant had made out that there weren’t any need to worry about thinking you’re going to lose your cat because you won’t!  Although, saying all that she did add that even though she does see me with a black and white cat around me it may not stay!  Then finishing with, “but I can also see another will come!

 (6) * Then after asking both of us, “do you know of any miscarriages in the family? And then telling her, “no!  “We haven’t!  Well she certainly made out to us that she can definitely see miscarriages!  Which could say did make us both look puzzled by this because so far, what we knew there weren’t any miscarriages what so ever, in our family or really anyone that we knew of!

 (7)  * Next which I’m sure it was she asked me, “if you had any money lose?  Which after saying no?  Well all she first said was, “well you need to be careful, as I do see some money lose,” but then added, “but, with this you will get it back!  Then still talking about money she did advise me to still be very careful because she can see either a purse or bag does go missing!

 (8) * After saying this, I’m sure she then talked about health-wise for each of us like if we had any health problems starting with our dad then with our mum and while she was talking about the problems that my sister had may have had she did advise her to consider of having her good breast remove in case, later on she may find some lumps underneath her arm.  Which after telling her, “that was what I was planning to do, she then came back to me again by first asking me if there was anything that I would like to know because as she was now getting a bit confused!  And what I mean by saying confused is that she just couldn’t find anything wrong with only me, as in my health!

 So, after telling her that I was concerned, in my head because of what something had happened in the family when I was age thirteen, well all she said was, “no!  “There’s nothing wrong there!  Which as I couldn’t believe this, had asked her once again, “are you sure there’s no need to be worried of thinking there’s something wrong with my head?  Which she again, had reassured me that, “no!  “I can definitely say there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you.”  “And as for your head well all I can see is blood and guts!  Which she probably meant my blood running through my veins in my head and nothing more!

 But still, what I wanted to know was when she had talked about our dad’s health, at the beginning well, she did mention how she was a little concerned because of seeing something around my dad’s heart, “like maybe an angina!  Which after telling us of this not only made me panic with worry but it was also hearing my sister saying something that “No!  “He as never suffered from that or even had any problems like that, but I wouldn’t be surprise if something occurred later because as he smokes!

 (9) * Anyway, I think it was either around then or she could have already told me this, only I may have forgot that around this time all I ever wanted to do was Office work and nothing else!  Until, after she got out her Tarot Cards and asked me to choose a few?  So, once again, she could tell me my future but through these Cards then rubbing my watch, which she put down for that moment.

 Because what she after she saw I had chosen the card that I was most afraid of because of what others had made out this card had meant which of course was not true, as the Clairvoyant had pointed out to me.  As she said, “ignore what others may say as this card only means that you may have a change in heart in your career-wise which you will have the knowledge of! 

 (10) * But after saying that she had mentioned that even though she does see I will have some bad times at work there will also be some good times too, even with this certain person that she said, COULD DEFINITELY SEE ME ENDING UP WITH at times though, which after telling me of this she then said something like, “and who doesn’t want to lose you, over and over!  Which god knows what she meant there, because as that wasn’t the first time she had said this!

Though, in between of talking about work she had all of a sudden came out of asking me about whether you want kids?  Because of seeing me holding a baby girl at a Christening!  Which too that question gave her a definite NO!  As in NO WAY! Because as I always felt I wanted to enjoy my life then rather being tied down with kids.

 Also, it was all due down to that I really don’t think I like KIDS!  She again mentioned, “how she still see me holding a baby girl at a Christening which she then said as well my sister, “that doesn’t have to mean it’s yours as it could be somebody else's, you know.”  Which to this, I must say had felt what a blooming relief!  Because of the thought, of maybe having a child let alone any Children. well like I said, “don’t wish or even want any! So, if everything came true for what she’s been saying so far well let’s just say that is one thing I don’t think I truly want that to happen in my life to ME!

 No matter what she said or how she said this for some unknown reason all that I could come out with is saying, “but to have a baby, you need a man!  Which I know sounds so stupid but it was only then, that I did interrupted by adding, “well I can’t see that from happening,” which she then stepped in by saying, “oh!  “But I can!    Only, first you need to open these doors through work because it will be through work that I can see you MEETING SOMEONE, for sure!

And even though she had said, “I can see that you will have some bad times as well as good through work,” she also mentioned, “but you will have some ups and downs with this person whom I do see you ending up with!  

But who she had also said to me before hand that she can see I will have two very long relationships, even though she did say how something about how there will be someone on sense first!  But what she meant there I DO NOT KNOW only that was what she had said roughly to me while she was telling me all this!

 Though, still that was she had said, but once again added that she can DEFINITELY see me ending up with this ONE who will come later on though!

      Even though, there maybe one or two obstacles in the way first, “Don’t worry there, as whatever it is, it won’t ever last because I can definitely say this one is YOURS,” “YOURS, YOURS and only YOURS!  Which she then kept on saying over and over, “from work, work, work though!  So, really what she was basically saying to me was she can definitely see ME having a “BOYFRIEND!

 (11) * And even though she mentioned something about how it will start when you turn forty she did actually say, “but I can definitely say, “by the age of forty-six you will either be SETTLED or with a PARTNERSHIP!

 But which she had said before she had mentioned that part about how by forty-six she can definitely see ME either settled down” or with a partner that first you will know that he will be back and secondly she told me that when you do see him, well, god help everyone else, because this one had took their time.

Then saying something like, “but it’s not until maybe later when not only things go alright like home as well as work, that you will first notice he will come around.  And when he does well YOU TWO will then get along much better. 

 But then after telling me that she can definitely see me either settled down or in a partnership by the time I reach forty-six well she then told me how she can see me HOLDING A BABY GIRL AT A CHRISTENING.


Which I can say right now, DO NOT WANT TO COME TRUE  


(12) * Also she had said, “that it will be when things will get better for you with your MONEY!  As I can see your MONEY WILL GO UP!

Which after mentioning that she can see my MONEY will be going up or start to could say that was ONE thing I definitely want to COME TRUE for me from what everything had happened including how those at home had treated me at my dad’s funeral and not forgetting around the same time how those from work had kept on bulling me! 

 But which she did honestly make out that what she told me already about being careful, with your MONEY because as she does see it going slightly down she also reassured, “that DON’T WORRY course later on YOU WILL GET IT ALL BACK and maybe possibly more then you had ever had before in your bank in a big lump sum!

(13) * But still who she kept bringing up this so-call person whom after telling me she does see me ending up with will all happen when only once again things at home as well as work and seeing money will start to get better for YOU!

That not only when he does come back out UNEXPECTEDLY-LIKE that you will be the first too know but who when he does, “god help everyone else, because as this One took their time!  Which you will say to yourself thank god?

 (14) *Then what the Clairvoyant said shortly after that was something about how Then and only then that I do see YOU will start to have some FUN!  Which I’m sure she mentioned how I even see YOU start to bloom!

And as she was coming near to the end well like I mentioned once before she had told me, “how later on she can definitely see me having my MONEY all come back to ME!  As well as saying that she could see me holding a baby girl at a Christening again which must confess that is the one thing I DO NOT WANT for sure!

And not forgetting that how she can definitely see ME with a MAN in my life.

 (15) *Though, what I would like to say is, when this Clairvoyant had mentioned she sees me holding a baby girl at a Christening, she had also pointed out to my sister of whether she had a little boy?

“A little boy,” because of how she can see my sister as a little boy running around her!  But no sooner then she had asked her this, that my sister had mentioned how her fiancée then, did have a little boy but who also had a little girl too!

Which to her replied was, “no!  “It’s only a little boy that I can see around YOU! 

 (16) *And as I forgot to mention, while trying to explain about how the Clairvoyant had wanted to tell us about each of our health well she had also kept saying to me, “how your dad loves you to death, whether he’s with you or not! He really does,” “he loves YOU!

*Which she then told me of, “how I see TWO MEN in my life! 

Once again, bring up my dad who she added, WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU no matter what!  And the other IS THIS ONE  from whom I will meet through work, as that’s what she had implied after saying what she had to me.

 So, what I’m about to say is, “apart from gaining my MONEY or feeling like it’s either getting better or that my MONEY does look like it’s going up a bit more not to mention how she feels like this so-call person who she does see ME ending up with also told me how this one will come back out, but, UNEXPECTEDLY-LIKE as if she was trying to say it will be when you, “LEAST EXPECTED!

 So, before I continue let me first tell you that ALL that I told you so far as happened, “that is, where she told me about how there will be TWO MEN in my life the first is your dad and how the second one, will be this ONE from work, which I’m sure she was referring too.  Because there wasn’t any other that she said only this one for whom I will meet through work! 

Which unfortunately for me can only see that it could probably be him because of how he seems to be the only guy from work that fits the BILL from what I was told by that Clairvoyant?  But for whom now don’t want to really think about to much because of what happened!

 But, because of what they all did to me way, way back then by playing with EMOTIONS just can’t help thinking of him.

But, what this Clairvoyant did also say to me, is that way before this guy from whom she really had made out it was going to be from work-wise that she DOES see me ending up with, COMES BACK eventually, well how you may dress will really impress Everyone around including his mates and HIMSELF that is!

 But, as for seeing me holding a baby girl at a Christening, well there’s NO WAY I would ever want that to BLOODLY COME TRUE!  NO WAY! 

Because I really don’t want to imagine that I will end up having a child!  That's if and only I may end up with this person who she made out with from WORK will probably have!  Because that is definitely the ONE THING I sure DON’T WANT from what this Clairvoyant had told me TO COME TRUE FOR SURE! 

 As I want to ENJOY MY LIFE, NOT TO BE TIED DOWN having a kid or really knowing now how this someone that she may sees me with that as already got kids!  Because I see myself as a free-spirit!  

* But still she did state that I she could definitely see ME ending up with a MAN in my life.






This is the year 2015, and what I’ve told you about my tape that I had received from that Clairvoyant way, way back then, because while she had told me all this she had also recorded it.  That is most times she had because, at times she told me that she had to stop the tape.  So, that, like the others, that she had also saw told their future to is part of what she as to do so that their future would come true too


(1) * Anyway, let’s get back to first what she told me where she said, that things isn’t been going to well for me in past. But will definitely get better you for sure like to

think it is slowly that is.    


(2) * Then, secondly, how she mentioned by rubbing my watch that have I got a friend with breast Cancer?  Which no sooner then she had said this then that I got a bit spook because of recently my sister did have breast Cancer well it was more to do with having one of her breasts taken off because of it  But still what this Clairvoyant had told me had freak me! 


Because, for just a brief moment and I do mean a brief moment I literally thought my god!  How do you know anything of that? 

Only, it’s not a friend, it’s my sister!  Still thinking, which for some reason turned round to her who was sitting close by but, not saying anything only thinking while looking at my sister, ‘how did she know?  Which then if I can remember my sister did add, that a sister can also be count as being a friend!  So, that was true.      


(3) * The third was how she told me if I knew anyone from my past or present that I truly cared for?  Which, after confusion on my behalf because that certainly got to me well if it weren’t for my sister of saying what she had, which she reckoned who it could?  Don’t think that the Clairvoyant would have really wanted to carry on because she seemed to want to know who or whether she had got this part right. 

 But still, I just didn’t know who on earth she could be on about even though what my sister had said, I just still didn’t know who it could be!

As she mentioned, I may see them again.  Still didn’t know.


That was until a week after I saw this Clairvoyant my mum had a call from one of her old friend’s that told her Luke her younger son for whom I’ve always adored since a young girl is going to visit.  Which if she wanted to could feel free to visit her then which when I heard could only imagine what happened next?  Because the way I really had felt for Luke had truly wanted to see him again.


Which when we arrived, was only then, that I thought about what that Clairvoyant had meant by when she had mentioned how she can see someone that I had cared for from either the present or the past, but weren’t too sure because of how blurringly she could just make out of it even when my sister had indicate that she knows who it could be?   Because of how it all occurred so sudden like!

(4) * Then she sense still rubbing my watch how I was a Spiritual person.  Which, once again had really brought back a time when I went through some experience I can’t really explain, “only that,” it was some kind of experience I’ve never come across before that I can tell you!  As this happened, while I was on the Youth Training Scheme way back in the late 80’s.


And it wasn’t until shortly after this incident had happened that both my mum and dad had told me that what I must have experience was a near death experience. 

Why!  You may say, “well it wasn’t just how I described my experience to them both, but two weeks after I had went through this, I had decided to go through the cupboard for something, don’t know what but I had. 

Only, while looking through the cupboard I stumble upon some very old photographs to which I had no idea of whom they were only that they did seem to be some very old photographs, of people that even I wouldn’t recognise if someone asked me.


So, what did yours truly do next?  But tell my dad of what I found in the cupboard while looking for something and then asked him of whether he knew any of these people?  Which no sooner then he had seen these photos, first asked me, “where on earth did you find these photos?  So, once again, I told my dad that where I found them!  But still I hadn’t the faintest idea of whom these people that was in these photos were?  Until, that is he told me that these people were his mum and dad which when I looked at them properly again, well one of them had took my eye more. 


MY NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE - Because one of these photos of my Nan reminded me of one of those faces that through having that near death experience that I had, had came across and that’s no mistake!  Course what I had experience back then, after falling over and banged my head in a certain place is that I was floating into space with no clouds or no planets around, only what seemed complete darkest until what looked like some light that had looked as I got nearer and nearer a cloudy effect.  Or in other words that I was finally reaching the end of a tunnel which when I had, I had seemed to approach loads of what looked like people’s faces young and old but only that came to their shoulders, then had what all seem to blend into this cloudy surrounding which can tell you now was not at all afraid of this!


Don’t ask me why?  But I weren’t!  Because, while I came across all these different faces for whom I didn’t know were all smiling to me and I do mean, smiling at me.

Especially the one that I didn’t know of why then as I got even more closer to the faces still not scared I heard a lovely sieving voice that seemed to be coming from behind me. 

Only, whoever voice this was didn’t seem to allow me to turn around to see who was speaking only that it told me to, “go back, go back, your time is not up.”  Which no sooner then I heard this then I felt I was pulled back suddenly seeing orange, red and yellow stars flashing before my eyes.  Which must confess only then scared me.


(5)* Then, while she had told me that sees me as an Animal Lover more Cats then Dogs well, after telling me this she did ask me if I had a black and white cat?  Which after telling her no, I haven’t!  Well let’s just say that she sees me with a black and white cat coming.  Even after I telling her, “that I’ve already have a cat, a black cat,” she still said, “well that won’t stop you from having this black and white cat coming, as you will.”  Then, explaining you shouldn’t worry of thinking you may loss your cat because you won’t!



Which before I continue, may I add that I did have a black and white cat come into my life well let’s just say this cat entered my home unexpectedly-wise but which I loved, being a cat lover.  But like this Clairvoyant had predicted also, while she sees me having this black and white cat come into my life, she also mentioned how this cat won’t stay for long.  But who she once again, sees how she sees another cat coming.

Which strangely enough, had come true because shortly after this black and white cat had come and stayed with us for quite a while that another had appeared also? 


(6) * The next thing, the Clairvoyant had said was, really to the both of us, because it was really about whether we knew anyone in the family that had any miscarriages? Which after telling her No!  Well once again she brought up of how she sees miscarriages.


Now, what if I told you that shortly after my sister had married that Creep, which none of us didn’t like really she told us first that she was expecting, only that she had a miscarriage.  And then another, which after thinking about it, was really strange to say the least, because of how that Clairvoyant way back then, had seen it.

 Only, we just absolutely had no idea then, of what was to be if you know what I mean?  Because, of my sister telling her that because of the treatment that she had for the breast Cancer that she had didn’t expect anything to happen to her as that’s having a child of her own.  So, really what I’m saying is that part had also come true so how spooky that was.  Hey!


(7)* And after asking me to be careful with my MONEY SITUATION well, let’s just say that had sadly came true from after thinking I’ve got a fair amount of money that I saved from the past well after being picked on so much at where I used to work my Money had got lower and lower. It was probably because my sister had told me way, way back then that just go and treat yourself cause, “money isn’t everything!  


(8) * Then, the Clairvoyant had talked about each of our health first starting with my dad because of how she sense something around his heart why she even asked us, if he had an angina problem?  Which, after her sister said, “no!  She did state that he does smoke though which wouldn’t be surprised that later on may cause problems for him. 


Then she went onto our mum that after first hinting to us that even though she may not look old she can definitely see her suffering from weak bones or something like that anyway.  While after telling my sister about herself by advising her if she had ever concerned of having her good breast removed, in the event of maybe later on seeing lumps reappear underneath her arm?  Which my sister did say that was what she was going to do.

Which if you must know, had also come true because it was only shortly that my sister had the apportion to remove her good breast, and it happened only not long ago, either as if I can remember she had this apportion of hers only last month in April 2015, so once again, that had definitely come true. 

But when she came to me well that was different, because she just asked me, “if I wanted to know anything about myself?  Because, as she continued, “I can NOT SEE ANYTHING WRONG,” which after hearing that must say felt some relief because, when she spoke of our health, well, mush say was starting to get a little worried.  But still, she wanted to know if there was anything I wanted to know? 


So, as I was a little concerned about my head, because of my history, well, I told her.  And what she told me was basically, “there’s nothing there, no there’s nothing to worry about.”  Even after I asked her again she replied, “no! “there’s nothing there, but only blood and veins!


(9) * Now, after telling us about each of our HEALTH she stopped rubbing my watch for a while to go onto the Tarot Cards, which was the whole reason of why I was there!  Because as I said before the reason of why I think my sister had basically suggested of me seeing this Clairvoyant, was that some idiots, had scared me by telling me that if I chosen a Card that had showed a Skeleton holding what look like a long pole or something like that, from a Tarot Pack of Cards well, that of course means, “I am going to die? 


Which after knowing about how I was scared about this ONE CARD when I had turned it around well only then had confirmed that I shouldn’t be afraid of it because what others may say about it was NOT TRUE what so ever.  As she told me that this card only means that there’s change in my life like Career-wise!


(10) * The next thing this Clairvoyant had told me was how she sees me having  some bad times through work as well as good times though, including with this so-call person that she definitely said, she sees me, ENDING UP WITH


Which still from this day on, can’t believe had really come true, also, even the part where she told me over and over that work does not want to lose you because while I was working where I had, these many years again now well let’s just say after they all played with my emotions so I would end up first, so confused that I had really fallen in love with this person. 

But before she had told me of this, she did state that IT WILL HAPPEN, YOU JUST HAVE TO OPEN THESE DOORS THROUGH WORK because once again she had said, “it will be through work that YOU WILL MEET SOMEONE.”  


Even though, she had mentioned that there will be one or two obstacles trying to get in the way of you two don’t worry because THIS ONE IS YOURS for sure. 

Because of how she first mentioned that she can definitely see me having a BOYFRIEND but which, once again told me that it will be through work that I will MEET SOMEONE  for sure.


(11) * Then what she told me next was ever more weird to say the least because what she then said was by in your FORTIES, possibly FORTY-SIX, I can see you either SETTLED DOWN or WITH A PARTNER.  Which I did wonder, ‘Oh yell!  As if to say, ‘that’s one thing I can not ever see happening to me?  Because of all those years, of being bullied as well as been told, that ‘don’t ever expect someone to be remotely interested in you romantic-wise, because, just look at you! 


Which, even though I hate to admit it, made me think has happened already?  Because, of really thinking about, way back and shortly after he had started working for us with “Big Clare,” the Manager, Andy, then had kept telling me over and over “how this person, which I won’t name his name really likes me big time.  And I really do mean, BIG TIME.


And even though, I didn’t understand what he meant then, well, let’s just say that I sure do now, because of how it all FITS THE BILL or how IT ALL FITS to what that Clairvoyant had said, way, way back then, before I had even started to work there which was back in November 2002, till January 2012.


N O T E *


Please note though, that all this part AS NOT YET HAPPENED! 


But after that Clairvoyant had told me that she sees me either SETTLED or in a PARTNERSHIP by my FORTIES! 


But if not, well I can definitely still see you ending up either SETTLED or in a PARTNERSHIP when you reach FORTY-SIX.


Well, let’s just say what she said next, is sure doesn’t want to come true for sure! 

Because, even though, that part hasn’t happened, can tell you right now



Because that was what she also, added, after telling me by the time I reach FORTY-SIX, she can definitely see me SETTLED DOWN or in a PARTNERSHIP!  Which I can tell you, is still waiting to see if that part will come true yet!

*As, I’m FORTY-SEVEN now and nothing has happened yet, like in SOMEONE will be back UNEXPECTLY-WISE has happened even.


Even though, this Clairvoyant back then, had said, “they will come back out when you least expect it!   Can’t really see that will happen to me, even though that does sound like it could be him “And when they do come back out, well you will be the first one to know!


But then said, “But, god help everyone else, when that does happen, because this one took their time.”  Which again, I don’t know what she meant by that bit!

* Which I must confess now, is still not quite sure of wanting that part to maybe come true!  Course, I think I rather have that a dream then, reality because, has I pointed that part out before, that guy, when I knew him had always seemed to want one thing only, if they want together with someone, which I wouldn’t want!  So, there we have it!  As, I see myself decent not someone who’s Trash that like guys is also want SEX!   

Only, I can tell you right now, I truly don’t want to get MARRIED or either knowing someone like him, who she had predicted that she can definitely see me ending up with this one! Don’t think I want to know him like in that way!  And why! You may well say, well, it was all because, way back then, when I knew, this guy, if that is that so-call person that she had told me about, will come back like, unexpected-like into my life, could say that has he showed his true colours, way back when I once knew the guy more! Don’t think I want to ever know him!  


Course all that, guy had ever thought of, probably even wanted was SEX, SEX and more SEX, if he wanted to know someone NEW! 





So, the answer to that question is that I sure hope that part won’t ever come true for me!  As, I’m not like that!   Course, if ever, that old dream of mine, of thinking I would meet someone is SOMEONE LIKE ME, SHY AND DECENT!  Which is for who would like me for who I am! 


Not, like Steve, who really, even though it’s been nine and a half years, since I kind of knew him better then now, because, there’s a saying, LEPARDS DON’T EVER CHANGE THEIR SPOTS!       


* But, again, I sure like to know if that part is going to happen! Even though, I don’t want him to maybe come back into my life, course he’s no different then the rest of those. Because has I’ve always been told, don’t ever think anyone will be remotely interested in you, course, you’ll Ugly!   


As well as waiting really, where this MONEY that she had also, predicted to happen WILL COME BACK in a BIG LUMP SUM as well as possibly more later.    


Though, shortly after I had that encounter with that Professional Clairvoyant shall I say well, (and this was just before I got that job working at a Fashion Shop by the way), as I was approaching the Kingfisher Centre a fairly large woman had just suddenly approached me with a biggest smile and said “excuse me by asking you, but do know anyone with Big Brown Eyes?  Course, I can tell you right now, if you haven't yet, well you sure will!  Course, you have such a lovely wonderful smile, I can see you meeting someone with deep Brown Eyes.  If not in a few months, you will in time!    


But before, I carry on, well let's just say this person didn't dress or really acted like she was a Gipsy, she was just a woman that simply stopped me on my way into the shopping centre.  And even though she may have wanted me to have this very small lime Green stone that was more shiny then a small stone that looked plainly green, if you know what I mean!!!  She wasn't! 


Only, as you should know by now, in my so-call Diary that I've turned into a Book that I've done and dedicated to my beloved Dad, who I will always love, well this mysterious, tall, dark hair stranger that no sooner then I saw, leaning against that table with his arms folded looking slightly down and thought was going to start something off in my so-call crazy life but how!  Well he had the most amazing big Brown Eyes you would not believe!  Which, is exactly what I'm trying to say about when as well as  what this woman had said about me meeting Someone with the most biggest Brown Eyes.



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