Wednesday 5 January 2000

Playing Games - Chapter 34


 Chapter 34



                                                                THE TIME

                          AFTER MATT CAME WONDERING IN OUR WORK  

                             BUT WHO ENDED UPSETTING YOURS  TRULY!   

 Now, when we had one of our bad winters, but who was working, well first of all, when I had arrived at work as always, to start!  And then, after coming back out from the back, well to my surprise on this day had suddenly noticed him!   My gorgeous brown eyes, Matt!  As I saw him, like always, just talking away, to both Wednesday aka Bobby and Cilla!  Who was  at the front!  But who, after seeing me coming out from the back, cried out, “hi, Sandy!  With one of his huge smiles upon his face!  But which to my response, all that I could do, was quickly turn my back just slightly, pretending that I’ve forgotten something in the back!  

 Or that I was going to put some rubbish in the bin, since I couldn’t go near the front, whilst knowing he was there!  Not to mention, it was mostly down to myself, of being totally shy, whenever I saw him around me!  Which, couldn't be helped!  Or even, whilst knowing he could be looking at me, without wanting to look at him!  Because nipping into the back course, of full well he could have being looking!

So, as I quietly tried to wonder farther in the back, like a complete idiot, thinking to myself, he was here!   Well, I was hoping he wouldn’t see me!   But unfortunately, for me I think so!  Which wasn't bad!  Only, no sooner then opened the door to the back and tried to see if he was still around, noticed he was!  And still talking to both of Bobby and Cilla!  Though, after seeing him wondering slowly down towards me, well boy!  I must confess, I had got a little nervous and was starting to feel butterflies in my stomach!  But, I hoped my knees just wouldn’t start to tremble a little, as it usually does whenever I saw him!

 Only, after saying a few words to him like, “hello!  "How have you been?"  In a shy way!  Well what Matt couldn't help himself, in saying next to me, had hurt my feelings, while I thought, that what I did, was only trying to do a lovely thing!  But oh no!  Matt, must have known that what he said, had hurt me so!  Course, the real reason, of why I secretly wanted to do this, was that on that very year, it was the first Anniversary, since my beloved Dad, had past away!  So, really I just wanted to cheer myself up, by secretly passing a Valentine Card over to someone that I knew, to pass onto Matt! 

 But, all that I can say on that!  Was, he really should have known better, before opening his big fat gob to me!  Because at the time, all I could think of was, the guy, just didn't have any remorse or feelings, of what I must have been going through!  Which, I thought, you "barstard" you!  Course, way before he said what he said and wondered down towards me, with a smirk upon his face!  Was that as usual, he went to that Pencil-stick, Wednesday which was aka Bobby to opened his mouth about that Valentine Card!  Which you would have thought, little miss-oh-mighty-mouth aka Bobby would have probably told him of why I did it?  That's if she knew it was the first Anniversary, since my dad died!  Because anything she knew of me, well little miss-gob-shite aka Bobby would tell Matt!

 Though, no sooner then Matt had more then less, shouted his flaming wide gob off to me, about that Valentine Card!  As well as, trying to ask me, "did you send him a Valentine Card Sandy?"  With that pencil-stick Wednesday aka Bobby by his side as always, just didn’t know what to say!  Or rather thought!  Course, all that came to mind was, oh Matt!  Why, did you have to spoil this moment for me?  Just why?  As I quickly then turned quietly and said, "as I'm always nice to you Matt!  

 Which, I went straight in the back!  Because of what Matt said, had really upset me!  As I think he, himself even knew of what he just said had truly hurt me!  Or just hurt my feelings altogether!  If only he would have thought twice before, opening his enormous wide gob!  But, there again, instead, of having a brain!  Matt must have had a blooming small Pea, in his huge head! 

 Now, after I opened the back door, to the staff-room and passed the staff-room door seeing Cilla was sitting down having her lunch, I went straight to our toilets at the far back!  And started to cry!  Only, to wonder to myself, what have I done, that was so wrong?  Then, without a doubt, thought, but, I didn't do nothing wrong!  Suddenly, heard the door to the back, open!  And hearing Bobby quietly said to Cilla, "Matt just had a right go at Sandy!  Which, to her reply, came out with, "Matt loves her!!!

 So, after coming back out from the back, Matt had by now left, which part of me had felt once again, why did he have to be so nasty to me?  Just tell me why?  Hey!  Because even though I acted in away, I did, when I saw him, must confess that it was really lovely to still see him!  Course, of having the chance to just gaze into those beautiful, deep, darkest brown eyes of his!  I mean, you would have to see him to know of what I was talking about!  But still, for him to simply bring up what he said, into the conversation, was so hurtful!   Nevertheless, for why he couldn’t have just simply not speak of that, while he had came to me!  

 Because, if Matt didn’t mention what he had!  Then, I know I would have probably still stayed, gazing into those dam beautiful big brown eyes of his!  But no!  Matt had to ruin it!  By turning into that flaming character, Mr Hyde!  That he must have liked in doing to myself then anyone around work!  Which, yes!  I could say, "you barstard!  But once again, because I loved the git aka Matt well I couldn't!  And even though, I had wondered that if I didn't have these deep feelings for Matt, that those rest of the "barstards" from work, had done!  Including himself, had played upon my feelings!  

 Then, would I have still end up loving him, like I still do?  As well as, if not!  Would given Matt a good seeing two, where the sun don't flaming shine!  Because with the feelings, as I had for Matt then, couldn't, for one moment, hurt the him!  Even if he always use to say the F-word to me over and over!  Could not go right up to him to give him a piece of my mine!  As I think I was totally crazy in love with him that possibly stopped me from doing so!   

 Anyway, shortly after I had mentioned to Bobby, "how I wish Matt could come back! Well, what do you think that happened?  But my darling, Matt had came wondering back into our work!  Making out that he had simply forgotten something, because of how he wondered in looking straight at Cilla and Bobby with a smile!  But, for some reason, I once again, sort of backed away, just slightly from him, as I saw him finally coming my way!  Not because I wanted two! Oh, no!  As, I believed that it could have been my feelings for the him that was really stopping me!  For being brave enough, as I thought, I was to say to myself, okay!  I'll stick around!

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