Wednesday, 5 January 2000

Playing Games - Chapter 41


                                                                 Chapter 41

                                                                THE TIME

                                      WHEN MATT HAD ASKED SANDY



                             WHEN MATT WANTED SANDY TO SORT FIND 


                                                              AS WELL AS

                                            ADMITTING THOSE TRUE LOVE


                                        BOTH  "LUKE WILSON" AND MATT

                                BUT, WHO WILL ALWAYS LOVE THE ONE!

 Then, one day as usual, after the guy had came wondering into see Bobby, who at the time was doing something at the back of the store, “well let’s just say as soon as we saw each other, not only in some way, had tried to look in another direction, but who also, had tried to look another way, as I was trying not to show signs that I was very shy, by first saying to him, “I’ll get Bobby."  But, who I still wondered at times, of when he saw me had slightly turned around.  Because that weren’t like him at all, as that’s normally me that would have done that, whenever I only saw Matt.  

 So, after notifying "Wednesday" aka Bobby of Matt’s presents was acquired, she then came to speak to him quietly as always, near to the back, but who this time, had spoken to one another around a table, then standing at the far corner of the back, looking at me while talking away.  I slowly walked towards the front, near the entrance because of knowing who was there, looking straight at me, while that "gorgeous-puppy- dog eyes" aka Matt had came in to see her.

 So, whilst I was trying to avoid of knowing who was probably still watching me from where they were, had now tried to carry on with her work, while trying two, I suddenly heard my name, “Sandy."  Which was Matt trying to get my attention, whist he was with that "Pencil-Stick Wednesday" aka Bobby!   As he seemed that he wanted to speak to me, so as I went over to them both, the more I glazed into his big brown eyes, whist I was trying to cope of being slightly nearer to me, the more I wasn’t just feeling nervous, but who my shyness was slowly showing which for me had made it worst for me, because every time I was like that, well, I had, in the past had always, somehow blushed!

 Though, while I was really trying to stick around them both and I really was,, before as usual, I walked away from both Bobby and (Brown Eyes) aka Matt, which as you should realise by now, was always been a pet name for Matt from me if you haven’t realised that yet!  Maybe because of how I had always found looking into those adore big brown eyes of his was so mystified, that it even somehow always stopped me from concentrating on doing my work.  And yes!  Even though, things as happened as they did, in away to both of us, “both so differently if I can say that.  Would first place?  Because of knowing full well that I normally do get on very well with guys in general-like as in making friends with them more then I do with the same sex like myself! 

 And secondly, of course, what I’ve still always wanted to know is that why did all those lot from work around the time Matt had worked with us did they all play upon my feelings as they did, in the first place also for who knows what could have truly happened if they just left things be!  But once again as I was trying to say even things as happened to the both of us, but differently well what I’ve also wanted to know apart from what I’ve may already said was before entering work, on that first day of not realising just yet that both Matt and Liz was going to start that I was sure I heard a voice from inside saying something like, “she’s just coming now!

 Which, back then, after hearing that thought, “now what could they possibly mean by that?  For first of all, they couldn’t really imply anyone else, around me while I was just coming in, because there wasn’t anyone around!  And most of all whoever this voice was well who were they indicating to that’s speaking to inside as to let them know of course, that if it was me that they were referring to then once again, why?  But really getting back to what I was saying when I did honestly try to stick around both Bobby and Matt, who if I haven’t said it had always thought the world of and still do from this day had called me over from where I was near the front.  

 But who shortly after, had made out he needed a pair of jeans, that size, that didn’t exactly exist, couldn’t help herself for not hanging around no longer.  “Why?  You may say, “well that’s a silly question to ask, because as always, it was just seeing him looking at me with that lovely smile, which had made this girl as always, go all shy and bashful!  But, if the truth is to be known, I think all this, shows that I was truly in love, for sure and still could well be, till this day, but, at the time, who was just to shy to express her feelings!

 But who thanks to Matt, I wouldn’t have known the America Actor, "Luke Wilson," who every single time watched his films, not only feels exactly the same that I did when Matt was around me, all those many years ago, but who could well be in love with the Actor now!  But that doesn’t mean to say, all those feelings that I had for Matt way back then, is no more, because that’s not so, for even though what I may have just said about how I feel for the Actor, "Luke Wilson," my feelings, won’t ever change or go for Matt.  Which must show how deep down I’m probably still in love him, still and will always will be! 

 But if you must know, even though it may sound like I’m in love with the two guys but one, I think I will, always, always love Matt forever and ever!  It’s just I think I would feel a whole lot better loving that Actor, "Luke Wilson" who once again, is the spitting-image of Matt well then, I'm telling myself, to truly love him so.   Because of how that Actor can't truly hurt my feelings so much, as the one I do love back then.  

 Even though, it may not be intentionally, boy!  Did Matt hurt Sandy so much!  But that doesn’t mean to say, my feelings for Matt doesn't exist no more.  Far from it, course, I grew-up in believing that if I ever fell in love with someone, then, loving them, will be for eternity, then rather saying "oh, yes I love you," if I was with them, then, late on, fall out, with them, over and over again!  

 As, you can call someone like me, who's not only, "genuine," "an old fashion romantic," but who once again, wouldn't or could love someone else, in replacing my true love for him that I still have for him!  Because, my love for Matt will be always be for eternity now, even though, he never truly liked me as a friend or even wanting to know me as a person, but who at times, hurt me.  I will always love the idiot, no matter what or where he maybe now!  It's just I do know for a fact, I'm in love for sure, with Matt, then with, "Luke Wilson" the Actor.  Who only, seems to be helping me so much with my feelings, that I have and will always have, when I say, "how I love Matt, no matter what!  As well as, who knows full well, that if I imagine that I'm in love "Luke Wilson," well, it's knowing that he can’t hurt me, like how, you know who, way back then, had!  


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