Wednesday, 5 January 2000

Playing Games - Chapter 38


Chapter 38


                                                                THE TIME

                                      WHEN MATT HAD CAME INTO WORK

                                              BUT WHO TOTALLY IGNORED


 But speaking of how Matt had made me feel then that I wasn’t there brings me to another time when, as usual, Matt had visited us, only the way it looked, it was more as usual to see "Wednesday" aka Bobby then anyone else, because of how he always seems to go straight towards her, that small, but who was skinny, like a blooming "Charcoal-stick" after walking in.  And even though he may say a quick, “hello,” to everyone, including myself, while passing, that’s not the point, for the guy never seems to think of stop to talk to anyone else, properly only to his best friend now, Bobby if she was by herself!

 Although, when he had just sometimes came over to me well I must confess I think I loved it and I do mean that I loved those times when he did!  But saying that there was this one time that after he had walked into our work to see Bobby, as usual, well, no sooner then Matt had acknowledge Emmitt who was a fairly tall guy, at the till, he then went straight up to the back, where Bobby was ignoring me completely after I had tried to say, “hello,” to Matt more then once.

 Which, I have just got to say, must have known that was really upsetting me while he was carrying on walking towards Bobby and then, who Emmitt eventually joined in with them, but even after Emmitt had joined them, that I thought, I’ll try again, to say, hello, to him!  But, still, the guy, just kept on avoiding me, like I didn’t even exist!  And yes!  You could say that I did wonder, what on earth was he doing?  But then, thought, well if you want to be funny, then be funny!  Only, that I really wanted him to, at least turn himself around, to me and say, “hi, Sandy," even for a brief moment, that would have been nice, but Matt just didn’t at all the times while he was there, had turned around to face me.

 And I certainly do mean, he wouldn't turn around to say “hi,” to me, whenever I had tried to say, “hello, Matt."  But which, I reckoned both Emmitt and Bobby must have realised that I was getting a little upset by this by now, because of the way they were looking across over to me.  It was more Bobby then Emmitt, that realised of this, course, of her expression that she was giving me, while she was glancing over to me, with a smile, while Matt on the other hand, was still chatting away to them.  And even after they may have looked-like they was finished talking in the far corner from the back, that I just couldn’t help from saying, “hello,” to him just don’t ask me why?  But I did again!

 Because, just before leaving, the guy had stopped at the till to speak to Emmitt, while waiting for Bobby, as Bobby was going on her break then, which, was when I slowly moved in, to say, “hi,” to Matt or tried to before he went out!  But silly me, should have known better when I actually thought, “I’ll give it just one more go, in trying to say hello, to Matt!  But as I walked up slightly behind him to say, “hello, Matt,” the guy just didn’t take one blind of notice of me, which was where I had quietly said or more then less, had tried too indicated to Emmitt, from where I was, as he was looking at me, “don’t worry Emmitt! 

 So, after leaving him so he could carry on talking to Emmitt while I was now feeling really sad, but who could blame me for that, as I was still feeling quite confused over why Matt wasn’t talking to me while he was there.  I mean, what was the guy thinking he was playing at?  For simply ignoring me totally-like, he had, as well as, when both Bobby and himself was walking out!  Which, as they did, I did try to say my byes to them, since they had said their byes to Emmitt and vice-versa.  But thinking that maybe, I would finally get some respond back from Matt, as he was leaving with Bobby, had tried to say, “bye,” to Matt!  But still, he didn’t say anything to me.

 Which, after I did try to say “bye,” to him and more then once, may I had because of how I truly wanted Matt to acknowledge me while he was there, then rather keep ignoring me as he did, before leaving noticed while I was trying to get Matt’s attention, Emmitt could see me getting really upset by this, because of how my feelings was hurting by how Matt was truly ignoring me, throughout the time he was there.  

 As I really tried to understand of what could I have done to him to deserve that treatment from him!  I mean, it’s not like I’ve hurt him or done anything to him, course, first of all, the guy wasn’t even working with us any longer.  And secondly, I wouldn’t dream or even couldn't hurt Matt, even if I wanted too, I couldn't!  And that was even, if  I didn't have  these feelings for Matt, wouldn’t dream of hurting him!

 Because I must admit, ever since I first saw Matt standing near the front of our shop as I did, learning against that table, had thought to myself, 'now that’s one person I could never hurt, if he was to work here?  Which, to be honest didn’t know that he would because this was just before I knew he was going to be working with us.  And after I knew, well, what was going through my mind was, oh!  My god!  It looks as if Deek as got my wish granted for me after all, by hiring someone that after telling him, “why can’t you hire someone that’s tall, dark hair, nice eyes, nice smile with a wacky sense of humour, not forgetting, who’s got to be board for me!  Because, yours-truly, really had asked Deek to do this way back then, but before he hired both Matt and snobby Bitch Liz.

 Anyway, as soon as "Pencil-stick- Wednesday " aka Bobby had walked out with Matt and said first, to Emmitt, "bye Emmitt."   Well, after I cried out to both of them, even though, it really to Matt to turn, Emmitt, could see straight away, that I was trying to get Matt's attention, by saying, “bye Matt,” because I thought, 'well surely now, the guy would say bye to me!  But the Bastard, didn’t, even bother to try to turn around, when I had.  Though, if it wasn’t for Emmitt, who cried out to him, for me, even though I had tried to tell Emmitt, quietly, “don’t worry Emmitt, shouted, “Matt!  While indicating, by looking over to me which only then, Matt acknowledged me with a smile through the our window, but which, I thought, was to late, because as I finally saw him looking at me well, for some reason, I went straight into the back feeling that why, did you have to hurt and upset me Matt! Why?  And to be quite honest, who was nearly in tears which I wouldn’t be surprised to find out Emmitt would tell them.

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