Wednesday, 5 January 2000

Playing Games - Chapter 27






Chapter 27 


                                                             THE TIME

                                   THAT SANDY WAS TRULY HURTING

                               COURSE, OF MISSING MATT SO MUCH!  

 When I came in that following day, I think really, everyone from work, had probably right away, that I was so very upset about how Matt wasn’t now going to be around any more.  Because it was just simply how I was acting around them, with my head slightly tilted down looking so sad, that half of the time thought, 'oh!  'No!  I sure hope I’m not going to start crying?  Because of thinking part of me was trying to deny that it was him, that was really doing this to me, Matt!

 Although, that day and the next, as well as when months gone by, this girl was still pretty much feeling the same, which was hurting and feeling so upset.  As for the others, well they all knew full well, of how I was truly hurting over Matt, because none of them had mentioned his name around me, while working.  Course, you have no idea of how it really was, so hard for me to carry on with my work, even though, some would say, “don’t be daft Sandy!  It was definitely hard for me back then, to carry on-like normal with my work.  

Why, I still even had wondered from this day onwards, of why, did all those complete Barstards, did, what they did, to me, while Matt was still working with us?  Just tell me that!  As I’m sure I’m not wrong in thinking that they could have played with my mind, so I would end up getting so confused about my feelings for Matt!  Course, I can tell you right now, that if they really hadn’t played with my feelings, as they had, well, would know, full well that I wouldn’t think twice, of falling in love with anyone, as I do now, because once again, all I ever wanted was to be a friend to Matt, that’s all!  Not, who couldn't help falling  in love with them!

 Anyway, as time went by and you would have thought things would have got a lot easier for me, could tell you, it didn’t, as my feelings at work as well as at home was still very much the same!  Because I just couldn’t stop thinking of him, for nearly every time I was trying to carry on with my work, while I was at work, found it difficult for me, for sure.  Maybe, for each time I turned a corner or even went in the back to do something, I was still, at times, expecting him to either wonder into work or to be near the till, serving away, not forgetting, at times, of how he had always liked to pop in, from out of nowhere to surprise me.  Like the time, he crept up behind me without trying to let me know that he was there, so he could make me jump, which was so easy for anyone to do, to me, but it was more so if Matt was around.                

 So, there we have it because I was still expecting him to pop out from around the corner or just come through the back from doing something well I probably got so use of seeing him around that I was now actually missing him.  But just maybe like someone first asked me when they had popped in just the once to say, “hello,” to the others because of how they use to work with us.  Hey!  “Sandy have you seen any sign of Matt, lately?  Which to her response, could only reply quietly, “no!  But also, nodding while looking down, just slightly to them, that they said, “why that’s a shame Sandy, because you two seemed so very close! 

 Which to be honest didn’t know of what she truly meant, by saying that, but maybe it’s because I was trying to block everything that I really felt for Matt, out from my mind of being so upset.  So still, as time past by and it was drawing so near to that first Christmas without him of being there, well you probably really would have thought, things now must have got a little earlier for me, since you know had left?  Well let me tell you, it didn’t!

 Although, at times, what seemed a little strange was the guy had sometimes popped into work to see Bobby, that he only truly went up to speak to!  But don’t get me wrong, I had no quarrels really, only that it would have been nice if at times, the guy would have approached me also, to talk to for a while.  But what I also noticed was, while seeing them both talking to each other, they always seemed to talk to themselves slightly away from me, like for some reason, they didn’t want me to hear them talking!  But if you ask me why?  Well, I sure didn’t know of why, because all that I did know was every time the guy had came wondering in, like he normally does, well he would always, always went straight over to Bobby, in one corners, to talk to her, but always facing from the back of me.

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