Wednesday 5 January 2000

Playing Games - Chapter 42




                                              FIFTEEN YEARS LATER


                           WHAT HAPPENED TO BOTH SANDY AND MATT???

                                                               AS WELL AS


                                                            JUST WHAT IF?

 Fifteen years later!  Yes! I do sometimes, just sometimes, wondered, what if our paths would cross again?  Or maybe just bump into each other, by pure accident-like!  Would I be pleased to see him?  Or!  Or not?  Well, saying that!  Recently, just recently, on July 2022, while this girl was just simply coming out of the Ladies, from the Kingfisher Centre, well who should take her by complete surprise!  By passing, at that precise moment?  But him!  My darling, Matt!  

 Yes!  It was definitely my darling, Matt alright!  Which was so strange to see!  Course, last time that you could say that I saw him really, as been what over fifteen years ago!  But who I hate to admit it!  Still, truly love!  Which, maybe some would say, "that's mad, for thinking you're still in love with someone for as long as you have been!  But let me tell you, it's true!  I do still love him very much!  Because maybe, it's course I always see myself as an old fashion romantic! Who as a youngster, had always wondered to herself, what if those feelings had occur in my life, for falling in love with someone!  Just what if?  Course, if I ever did!  Well, it will be for entirety!  Then, rather just one minute, I would like them!  Then, the next!  I would not!  Like some would, these days now!    

 *Which, to be perfectly frank!  In my book, I would never in a million years, would do that to another!  Let a lone!  Thinking about there's others out there, that I could love now!  So, naturally, even though of how I feel like I'm in love with Matt still!  Well, I will always love him!  Always!  No matter, of how he had treated me way back then!  This girl is very much in love now!  As I could never switch all those feelings that I had and still do, off and try to love another!  As, well as forgetting, what he looked-like then!  Never!!!  Though, what I probably loved about Matt so much, was not just looking into those mesmerising eyes of his or that lovely smile!  But just noticing that he had such lovely short, but spiky, hair!    

 Anyway, getting back to when I saw him walking past the ladies toilets, at that precise moment, on that day!  Because even though, he had took me by complete surprise!  As he did!  Well did he made this girl realise to herself that she had truly missed him so much!  Course, of remembering that way back then, when my darling had decided to leave our work, well he not only broken my heart into two!  But he had also, left me feeling like I had a great big gap, where my heart was!  Because of how I truly love him!  Really!  I do!  This girl is still totally in love!  But now feeling I don't wanna live, if the guy is now never gonna be around!

 But who knew that he couldn't have cared for what he had done to me!  I mean, for how he really hurt my feelings, that deeply before and after leaving our work!  Course, of how I really cried and cried over him, for at least two and a half years!  Not to mention, when he weren't working around Redditch no more!  Well, whenever I had noticed him just walking around the Kingfisher Centre with either, one of his mates or his mum,!  Well, lets just say, this girl couldn't stick around, because of her emotions had got to the better of her!  Course, tears was actually starting to reappear from her eyes!  Which, meant, I had to leave the Kingfisher Centre, straight away!  And I certainly do mean, I had to quickly leave!  

 Course, the more I thought of just seeing Matt, right there and then!  The more I actually, did start to cry all over again!  Like when he had left work!  But more so, when I got home!  As I had to hid myself in the front-room!  Course, by now, my tears were running down my face!  Until, there was no more tears left!  Because I eventually ended up crying myself to sleep!  So, again!  When I saw him, as like I said, but now much older!  Well, lets just say, my feelings hadn't changed one bit!  In fact, as years had gone by, my feelings for Matt as definitely grown stronger and stronger!  For just by seeing him as I did, before wondering into H&M a clothes shop, told myself, how I couldn't help, but looking back at him!  Like it was still old times once again!  

 Only, I couldn't help it!  While noticing he was walking further away on his own, carrying a black lap-top over his shoulder and wearing a black T-Shirt!  But boy!  What this girl had noticed of him, was, if that was Matt!  And I do mean, a big if!  Well brother!  Did he seemed to have really lost his so-call-looks, that he once had!  And I seriously, do mean, he had lost his looks!  But who I didn't see that was so important in my book!  Why no!  As, it wasn't the looks that matter!  

 But just gazing into those dam, deepest, darkest, mesmerising, sexy brown eyes of his!  And boy!  Did Matt always seemed to knock this girl way out, every single time!  Whenever, I had gazed upon his direction!  Weather he was looking or not!  Because, of having a bloody good imagination!  Course, he truly had such amazing, biggest, beautiful, deep, dark, melting, captivating brown eyes, that you would not believe!  Course, he always managed to send me on either coo-coo land or on cloud 9!     

 Plus!  Plus!  They were the most adorable, big brown eyes!  And as for his smile!  Well, that was like a big bonus for me!  Yes!  It was like a bonus!  Course, with that look in those big brown eyes of his, he really had such a knockout smile!  That's if he could have smiled more often, by looking at me though!  But he hardly did!  Which again!  Had proved in my mind, that he certainly didn't like me, at all!  So, getting back to when I just sometimes saw him!  Well, he had truly had made this chick, feel like she was going all tingly inside of  herself!  Like I had butterflies in my stomach!  Plus, my knees!  Yes!  My knees had felt like it had even started to tremble at the same time, like jelly!  But that was only because of knowing Matt was always around!  Or that I was gazing into those adorable big brown eyes of his!  

 As for that short, but spiky, brown hair, that he once had!  Well, what I saw, was no more nice short spiky hair!  But a cropped hair!  Which had reminded me of a hedgehog!  A hedgehog, that's only actually pops out from outer of nowhere, like how Matt had, all those many years ago, showing his face every now again!  But who's now got a very short, but mangy, looking hair that's really like there's no spikiness, trying to stick itself upwards!  Being so horribly cropped-like hair!  So, looking where I was, really had noticed Matt had truly lost all that remarkably nice, but short, spiky hair that he once had!  And gained such a really hideous look about him!  

 Short!  But very badly cropped hair!  That's even!  Even, truly had looked-like a huge rusty old lawnmower had been rolled over his big head over and over again and again to mangle it up, as it was!  So, he would have looked-like a poor old hedgehog!  But a very badly deformed one!  That's lost it's long, prickly spikes!  And gained an awful, bloody, hideous look!  And brother!  If I had the bottle, to go right up to him and tell him, "hey!  "Matt!  "Bloody grow that hair of yours back!  I would have!  Trust me!  I would have! 

 Though, way back then, even though, how Matt had truly acted towards only me, had actually, made this girl feel like she was mostly invisible!  Yes!  That's right!  Invisible!  Like she didn't even existed to him!  So, while I saw him going off now, as I did, I even spotted he had a Tattoo on one of his arms!  A Tattoo, that had somewhat made yours truly thought of pigs!  Pigs, that's been branded with a mark on their huge, fat, enormous bodies!  And that's no joke!  It did!  

 But what had surprised me more was, this girl didn't tilt her head, like how she had used to!  No-sir-re!  Course, maybe, it was the way he had looked now!  Honesty!  With that hair of his!  Short!  But horribly cropped, that really how I mentioned, was so like a deformed hedgehog! Because of how his hideous, but short cropped hair was more like it had been driven over and over by a very old rusty lawnmower!  Looking awfully short!  But mangled up, on top of his huge, big head!  Then, rather how he once looked!  Short!  But who had a very nicely spiky hair, that sometimes look-like it was swept to one side!  

 But thinking back to how Matt hadn't liked me in the past, still unfortunately, couldn't help herself, for truly still being in love with him, in my heart of hearts!  Because of being an old fashion romantic, that is!  And who had always dreamt, as a young girl, that if I had ever had those love feelings over someone, then it would be for entirety!  Not who would keep changing their minds, from one minute, wanting to stay with the guy!  Then, the next!  Who would leave them!  Because, that's how his big, enormous fat-trollop had always treated my darling, Matt!  As, if the guy was an idiot!  Course of how he couldn't plainly see, what was happening, in front of his gorgeous, adorable, melting, mesmerising eyes!  Yet, saying that!  It does take two!  

 Even though, I hate to say that!  It does!  Really it does!  Any relationship does take two!  So, even if anyone would say, but theirs was simply not a really proper relationship, because of one minute, we would all see Matt and his fat-trollop of being together!  Then, the next!  We don't!  So, this was so must Matts fault as well!  Being like any other guys, with a pea in his brain and who didn't wanna control his bodily functions, below!  Like I had said, it takes two!  Not one!  Even though, what that humongous, fat Creature from the Black Lagoon aka the fat trollop, had always treated Matt, while she was occasionally with him!  It's also, his fault!

 And even though, he was like that!  Well back then, I did actually find Matt was a knock-out!  Yes!  That's right!  I aka Sandy had always thought, Matt was a real knock-out!  But, that was only course of every time of trying to gaze into those big, beautiful, dark, melting eyes of his, that I would always start to feel like my knees were trembling a little!  Plus! Plus, for who I had always felt I had butterflies in my stomach at the same time!  But, after seeing him now, after all those years, still couldn't help wondering to herself, boy!  Matt, just look at yourself Really!  Just look at yourself!  Because by just noticing him from that far distance on that day, Matt just didn't seemed to do anything!  Expect for a little surprise, when I saw him passing by!  

 Even though, he had always use to somehow bring that shyness out of me, by gazing into those amazing, captivating eyes of his!  But sadly!  Couldn't say that it had made me feel like how I saw him in that way, those many years ago!  With how his hair as it is now!  Horribly cropped!  Plus, knowing now, I just really wouldn't like the guy!  Because of who is now tied down with baggage's!  Yes!  That's right, baggage's, that in the past, knew full well, that Matt and his enormous fat-trollop had always kept on going back and bloody forth, as in, on and then off with each other, from their un-strange relationship!  

******That was more like and who knows probably still does it with each other!  Like two, old mad Rabbits, humping away!  But who, after a short while, decided to jump back off from one another!  Course, who knows!  They may have been fed up with each other!  Until, that is!  Those two very old Rabbits, had decided to meet up with each other yet again, to hump some more!  But in reality, well who knew of why, those two mangy, twisted pair of revolting sicko, had always ended up parting all over again and again!  Unit, the next time, we unfortunately, had to see them both hanging around all over together!  

 Which, I hate to say!  But for whom, I was sadly referring to my darling, Matt!  Yes!  Matt!  But only while he was with his extremely, enormous, fat trollop!  Who yes!  Was, and still is quite enormous!   Like that big fat trollop could blow-up, at anytime, like a time bomb!  And boy!  Do I mean, at any minute, she could have blow-up!  But for whom, the delusional Matt, had always kept on saying out, while acting like a most big-headed git, as he certainly was!  Or a Prick!  Because of times, he just couldn't help himself by shouting out so loudly, "oh, how I love blondes!  "But pretty ones!  

  Which, if that's the case!  What flaming happened!  Because, what I would say now was, "Matt much have been as blind as a bloody wrinkly, skinny, but very loud old bat!  That certainly needed a guide dog, if he really thought that his Miss fat trollop was oh, so fuckin' pretty!  Or even saying like a cucumber!  As a joke!  Which he probably still does, from this day onwards!  And I wasn't the only one that would have thought this!  Course, I'm dam well sure, the rest of our friends from out of work, would have still thought the same as I do, if they were still around!  Because, of what they had all thought of them both, all those many years ago!        

 Not to mention, their weird, but, none-existent relationship, as we had all known it to be, was even like old Yo-Yo's!  Yes!  That's right!  Yo-Yo's, that you may come across, going backwards and forth-wards, over and over again!  Because, of the string, that after shortly slinging it forwards, goes mad!  Like it didn't wanna control itself!  But as I already mentioned, like everyone knew, as well as myself, their weird, and un-strange relationship, wasn't through real true love!  But for who had always, saw them hanging around with each other for just one thing only!  Course, of remembering how Matt was, with that fat-trollop of his!  

  As, we all around him, besides, his mates and those idiots from my old work-place could see the way Matt was like!  Of not wanting to control his bodily functions below!  Like how I mentioned, how he was!  While always hanging around with all the those other girls, before his fat trollop had came along!  Being so very immature as he was, that is!  And yes!  I was referring to Matt!  Even though, really I didn't wanna to describe him in that way!  Matt, was sure so very immature!  And at times, acted like a complete prick!  As, for herself!  That big, enormous fat-trollop!  Or that miserable, enormous, Faggot face!  That I've got so many names for!  Well just like Matt himself, didn't wanna control her huge, fat, humongous body, while one minute, she was with him!  Then, the next!  We would all see them being apart yet, again! 

 Until, we all saw those two measly twits, who certainly I'm describing both Matt and his fat trollop!  Because of how it definitely fitted them down perfectly, while they were always together! Just like how Roald Dahl had written his two nasty characters, in one of his well-known books called, The Twits!  Yes indeedy!  That name had fitted them both down perfectly!  Course for one!  We wouldn't be at all surprised, that she was only stringing him along, because of knowing he wouldn't be able to see what she was doing, right in front of his biddy, but big brown sexy eyes!  Which, was playing a dirty, stinking, rotten game!  Yes!  A game, which he couldn't lead his own bloody life!  While Matt of course!  Just didn't seem to wanna control his bodily functions below, while every time, being with his miserable fat trollop!  

Which, everyone could always seem to hear, while she was coming our way!  Because boy!  It was either, like hearing a blooming loud, huge thump each time when her fat body was coming closer and closer towards our work!  Or!  Or that is!  A very, very badly stink-bomb that could certainly went off at any time!  Why!  Well you could even say, she stank so very highly, that it was even bad than a poor, innocent, smelly skunk had!  Which, as you know, does smell really badly, if anyone had got so nearer to them!  

 Only, knowing that we couldn't have escape from that awful, Miss O' mighty fat blob aka Matts fat-trollop coming over!  Well the rest of those measly idiots from work had always seemed to acted like they were all palliz-waliz, towards Matt!  Which meant, they had all acted like she was oh, so, bloody lovely!  Weather they had liked her or not!  They acted as if they all had all liked her, because of being Matts enormous, huge, fat trollop!  But, as for myself!  Well, knowing her as I do!  And I do!  Matts, "Miss O' stink-bomb" aka his fat trollop, had all knew she was definitely coming to see Matt!  Because once again, it was of her very badly, foul, disgusting, aroma smell!  

 Not forgetting, that awfully, thump, thump sound when her enormous, huge, fat blob of a body, was getting more and more closer to us all!  But for who the only person, that had always denied that, was Matt himself!  The stupid and immature Matt!  And of course, the rest of those "barstards," from where I had once worked!  Because it was always the way, they had all reacted around Matt!  Though, getting back to how I thought to myself, when I saw him, on that day!  Well, as I thought, bloody hell man!  Or!  Even, oh my god!  Just look at yourself now, Matt!  Don't you look like you've let yourself down a lot!  And I do mean, let yourself down!  

 Course, by looking at Matt now, well he also certainly looked-like he had gained some weight!  Weight!  That since all those many years ago, of when I had known him a bit better-like from work, hadn't had!  Which, if I had the courage to do so, would now, personally shout out so loud to him, "hey Matt!  "Haven't you gained a hell of a weight now!  Which couldn't help reminding me of Humpty Dumpty, that sat on a wall!  And okay!  Even though, the guy had still sort of put a smile upon my face, on this day hate to admit that I still love him!  Mad!  I know!  But honestly!  And truly, I really I do!  Madly!  Passionately!  And most of all, deeply!  

 Because through all those fifteen years, that I truly loved Matt!  And boy!  Do I!  My feelings that I had, as really, truly got more and more stronger for him, throughout the years!  Course, next year, it'll be sixteen years, that I've truly loved Matt!  Honestly, it would!  It'll be sixteen years!  Then, the following year, would be seventeen and so on!  But again, that wasn't my intend for feeling as I truly, still do for Matt!  Why, hell no!  Because, once again, it was all down to them!  Them, as in from my old work-place that had played upon my feelings!  Plus, Matt himself!  Which, as you know, no one should ever do to anyone!  Those "barstards!  Course, boy!  What I can tell yeah is, they had played with the wrong chick!  

  As for Matt!  Well, I think I can safely say, I would know Matt wouldn't change!  Because as there's a saying, Leopards don't charge their spots!  Meaning, the way Matt had always acted towards only me, may I add, all those many years ago, nasty!  Rude and horrible!  Can't really, imaging seeing him changing into a more nicer and shyer person, over someone like me!  Because of how Matt had always seemed to look really annoyed, with a nasty foul look, upon his face when he seemed to see me around!  So, again, I'm so sadly to say, knowing how Matt truly were, all those many years ago, to me, can't ever see him changing into a more nicer and shyer person!  As I've always dreamt of knowing!  That's someone, wanting to be around someone like me, aka Sandy!    

 Yes!  That's right!  Me!  Aka Sandy!  For who Matt had really acted so nastily, half of the time, back then!  But for who I've allowed myself to like!  Because of not liking anybody, since of knowing him!  But for why!  Still loves to imagine to herself of meeting that someone that could only be so nice!  As, well as, who could only be slightly shy, if they saw me around them!  Even though, the way he was acting towards me, was actually the only person now, that could have done this to me!  Then, rather someone else!  Because of remembering how Matt wasn't at all a very nice person to only myself aka Sandy from work!  Plus, of knowing full well, of what I do now, about Matt now, wouldn't sadly wanna know him in anyway!  

  Even if I do extremely love Matt so very much!  Well once again, if I hadn't mentioned this already! do I!  As, my answer to that, will always be yes!  I will always love Matt, no matter what!  Even if he tried to be a more nicer person then he was like, all those years back!  Which I just could never see that from happening!  Because of knowing, how he was to me!  Plus, of knowing now, Matt as got loads of those filthy sex-objects!  Which, in English terms, are their vile, revolting children!  But, is not!  Course, it was all through their none-extended, un-strange bloody relationship!  That they had always kept going on and then, off with each other over and over again!  

 Which, to me!  Is extremely sad!  Because I've always been dreaming of him!  Yes!  That's right!  Dreaming about Matt!  The only difference though, for each time, of every night, that I had dreamt of him, was seeing his amazing big brown eyes! Eyes that was burning into my mind so constantly!  And who!  In my dreams, was always a more sweeter and nicer person to me!  Not to mention, who had liked to be funny and slightly shyer, while trying to be around me!  Then, rather, who had really preferred to be in reality, quite nasty!  Moody and most of all, giving yours truly, that terrifying look of anger upon his face!  Course, truly!  A lot of times, Matt really had always given only to myself, tmind you hat terrifying, angry, moody look!  

 Even while he was always being around those so immature girls from work!  Plus, that repulsive, skinny, pencil-stick Wednesday aka Bobby!  Not forgetting, who was being around with that most hideous, fat-trollop of his!  That, who had definitely had played a dirty game, by giving birth on purpose, mind you, to all those three filthy sex-objects of theirs!  Plus!  Who is now, his wifie!  Yes!  That's right!  Because of how she had played a dirty game, by telling him, "I'm up the dove!  Which of course, had made out to him, I'm now pregnant!  Can't or even try to leave her!  But, even if he won't now married!  I probably still wouldn't wanna know him!  Course for now having all those loads and loads of filthy sex-objects by her!  As that isn't me!  No way!  Not to mention, I wouldn't wanna know anyone, that would!  As, well as, don't forget how had truly behaved the way he had towards me, all those years ago!  Nasty!  And who had most of the times, had given myself such a angry, moody look, upon his face!  While of course, being around with all the rest of those other "barstards" from work 

 And even though, what I had said about Matt!  Well, most of the times, you could say I just couldn't help myself from having fond memories of how he was!  Because of acting like he probably wanted to be funny and nice!  Like he had done, half of the time whistle being with all those other silly, stupid, immature girls, that not just worked there!  But with me, Matt had more he less made out that he only pretend to act nicer!  So, natural, I just couldn't help myself from having those fewer good memories of Matt!  Only, like the rest of them, I could see that he had needed to grow up himself also!  Plus that weenie, pencil-stick, Wednesday aka Bobby!  That ever since she had started working with us, had noticed both her and Matt had seemed to get along!  And get along like they were already palsy-walsy!  Then, rather like two work colleagues would! 

 But there again!  They were like the rest of them!  So, immature!  Those "barstards!  As well as, that one particle time, when Matt had simply came waltzing into work and just plainly ignoring me!  Yes!  That's right!  Matt had simply just came waltzing in and just plainly ignored me!  And yet, who carried walking on towards that Gruesome looking, Wednesday aka Bobby to talk to her!  Who had thought she could get any fucking guys, with that hideous look of hers!  Which what does that tell me again, about Matt!  But had showed he certainly needed to grow up!  Because of noticing Matt was really ignoring me completely to chat to Bobby!  And then, to Emmitt!  Who had came wondering into work shortly afterwards! 

 Which, had made yours truly wonder to herself, that the way Matt was, wasn't any different to like any of those other jerk-offs around the Town!  Which, to be perfectly frank!  Had honesty never liked, about him!  So, even though, I may love Matt!  Truly!  Madly!  And deeply!  Not forgetting, mind you, so very passionately!  Think I know that the way Matt really was then!  By how he had seemed to just love turning himself into that nasty character of Mr Hyde, from those stories, of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde!  Had made this girl realise to herself, just how that's another reason, of why, wouldn't wanna know him for sure!  As, a person!  And who as a friend!  

 Because trust me!  Why would I wanna know anyone, that who was once mostly horrible to me!  Course, all I had done, was really allowed myself to care about that him!  Then, carrying on liking different Actors, from different series!  Now, would I!  No!  I would not!  Even if I truly had wanted to know my darling, Matt as I had done, from when I first time I knew him!  Wouldn't wanna to now!  Not if he was still like as he was!  Nasty!  With the attitude that he had!  Annoying!  But with the most angry, moody look upon his face!  Always, at some point, had told me, to go away!  Or say, "fuck off, over and over again!  No chance!  So, because of him, as he was towards me, this girl as now gone straight back into dreaming!  Dreaming of what if there was someone out there!  So very nice!  Nicer and shyer!  As I had always imagined!  Or dreamt of!  Like I had done, when I very, very young!  For meeting that special person in my life!  As well as, like my beloved dad had always once told me, could see that will happen to you, one day, Sandy!  

 But which, I had always thought now!  Being a mutual person then I was!  That when will that day come!  Hey!  As I had always dreamt of that!  Not who would actually thought, that someday it would happen to me!  Because, boy!  I always thought that if I did, well I would still like them, to be tall!  Dark hair!  Nice eyes!  And who as to have a really lovely, smile!  Plus!  Who as to be slightly broad!  Not who's weight that seriously, turned into pure fat or podgy!  Like a fat pig!  As, this girl had always, once loved to dream of meeting someone, who could have even been a little shy, like herself!  Oh yes!  They would have certainly have to be a little shyer over me!  As, I liked that in a guy!  If they truly existed, that is!  Then, rather a big-headed prick, who's a nasty, rude with a so moody-angry look upon their face!  

 Which, sometimes Matt had given, me while I was still working at where I used to work!  Course, boy!  At times, Matt always wanted to show off in what seemed a very nasty way, while, being around with that so-call, toffee-nose bitch aka Big Liz!  Yes! That's  right!  Matt had always seemed to act like a total prick, whistle being around that bitch aka big Liz!  Which, had showed signs, that they were mentally, bitter twisted that had no remorse for, while I was always around both her and Matt!  Which, I was referring to big Liz!  But who!  While, each time I was around, Matt had loved to turn into that Mr Hyde!  Who was the only time I never liked him!  

 Though, the trouble was!  In those early days, when I was younger, a lot of guys had just simply liked Tarts!  Tarts!  That would only go around with them, for the sake of having sex!  Sex!  And more sex on their minds!  Then, rather, simply like myself, who had always dreamt of wanting to know someone, first!  Then, who could maybe later on, had wanted to know each other better, for a very long time!  Rather just rushing into something, that many stupid girls, out there now, even nowadays!  Like being a relationship, that only knowing the guy, that they maybe with, for a short period of time!  Is only thinking of having sex after meeting them!  Then, rather wanting to know them better, like I would!  If it had came to it thought!  

 Which, shows that they have no idea, what is a real true relationship is!  Who like myself, can safely say, does!  Course, as you know, even though, I had ended up falling head over heels in love now, which again, wasn't my fault, at all!  Or even intentionally, that I had ended up being in love with Matt!  No!  It weren't!  Because, it was all those sodden "barstards" that had played upon this poor girls emotions, before Matt had decide to leave!  Which, was leaving me all emotional!  And in tears!  Tears, that I had truly ended up crying over Matt, for two and a half years!  And that's no joke!  I really had cried for two and an half years, over my darling, Matt!  Which, I really wouldn't have thought, that I would have fallen in love, let alone with Matt for real!  But I did! And that's no lie! 

 So, ok!  He may have wanted to go and move on!  But really!  To do what he had done, before he left!  By joining in with those rest of those other "barstards" from work and  decided to play with my emotions! As, well as, who thought it was funny!  Course, that was not expectable in my book!  But who, at the same time, was with that so-call non-extent relationship, with his fat-trollop!  As, you could say, this was more like someone wanting to keep switching any old tap, on and then off over and over again and again!  As, well as other examples that I'll mention to you later on!  Course, yes!  He truly had started to hang around her like that!  Because he acted like a bloody particle, immature person!  Then, who really someone that had kept on saying, Matt just doesn't know what he wants!  But did that bother me at that time!  Why!  Hell no!  

 Because at first, I didn't look at Matt, like I had eventually done!  And who felt for him later on, before he left!  Why no!  Course, it was really from those Wacky's, that had truly told me what they had thought of Matt and his stupid so-call on-off relationship with her!  You know! His fat trollop!  Because what one of them had told me was, "it's all in Matts head," "that truly believed, he's in a real relationship!  But who they didn't describe her as that miserable, big, fat-trollop, like I added, later on!  But there again, I personally, did have more as a good reason, for calling her that!  And so many other names, like I had done!  And still do!  

 Especially, how firstly, after getting her humongous, fat blob of a body, that we would call, up the dove!  So, she could trap Matt!  Because of believing I aka Sandy, was after Matt, romantically!  Which, I won't!  Really!  I won't!  I mean, come on!  Of remembering  Matt had acted with those so many girls around then!  Not to mention, of how he acted with me, at times!  You know, really liking to turn into Mr Hyde!   So, I don't know why, everyone had reckoned I was after him!  Course, they must have been mad!  As, all that I felt, at that time was my feelings had felt like it was mixed-up!  Like I didn't know, weather I was either coming or going!  Because at the time, I didn't really see Matt as I had done, like later on! Course, around that period of time, my feelings didn't seemed to have been played upon from those at work or him, in fact!  

 But saying that!  Did you know, Matts so-call big, fat trollop, girlfriend that was really an on-off relationship with him had also, played a big part in this!  Because, would you believe, that, that enormous, huge, fat Bitch aka Matts other half had ended up threatening me! Me, shortly after having their first baggage!  Yes!  That's right!  She had threated me, at work!  After wondering into our work to show off their newly-born spog!  In plain English terms, that's a baby!  But, if I hadn't already said this!   A baby, it was not, to that gruesome, hideous, Wednesday aka Bobby!  But a really truly hideous spog!  That once again, came out through their none-existent relationship!  That was always, on one minute!  Then, the next!  You would hear it's off again!  As, that was what it was like!  On and then, flaming off! 

 But it was only after noticing Matt shortly wondered in, that I also, discover his other half, had showed me her true identity!  Which was being a real bitch!  A real big, humongous, fat bitch of Matts!  Though, I had wondered what if my friends from Wacky's was still around here!   Would they all agree with me, by thinking like I had!  Who was starting to really see her as she truly was!  But there again, saying this!  It does take two, to try and make any  relationship to work!  Then, for what that humongous, fat, blob, that people would call a body was actually really doing!  Even though, Matt had probably didn't want to see!  Course, of how she was always like!  Like for example!  For how those from my work had done with me!  Which, was playing a game with my emotions!  But in her case!  Had truly played a game upon Matts feelings and life!  

 Before, it had came obvious shortly wondered in and also, discovered his other-half had showed her true colours to myself!  Which was being a real bitch!  A real big, humongous, fat bitch of Matt!  Which, I so wanted to give that fat trollop, a blooming good left hook!  As, well as saying, "oh!  Look!  "There's, that fat-trollop again!  Who's now, Matts Misses!  Poor sod!  Who I can see she had definitely played a dirty, rotten, game by getting that humongous, fat, body of hers, up the dove!  Or locked up, should I say!  Course, of how she probably didn't want anyone else, to know Matt in that sort of way!  That if it had came to it! Of course!  Which, firstly!  Showed how she didn't want Matt to lead his own life!  Or could even trust him!  

 Because come on!  That's really the whole point, in any relationship, if ones in one!  Trust!  And being loyalty to each other!  Not, playing around!  Which, had showed they were doing, while being with each other, on then off again!  And again!  But, yes! most of us, including myself could see that fat trollop had been playing a dirty rotten game!  Because of not wanting to allow the Matt to choose their own path, in their own lives!  And secondly!  Secondly!  Of how she really acted like a bloody control freak!  Then, rather, someone who would allow the guy, aka Matt to decide weather they had wanted to be with them or not!  Course, that's what she was more then what I said about her!  She was definitely a control freak, alright!  With one hell of a huge, humongous, fat, faggot of a body!  Then, normally seeing a fat person, just waddling around in the Kingfisher Centre, half of the time!  With, may I add, her very hideous, old, deformed hag, of her Dinosaur mummy!  Just walking along side her!  

 Though, don't forget, that was how we had all thought, of Matts so-call "girlfriend" that is!  And I was only referring to those that had knew him, from out from work!  Not, who that worked with us!  But, who I had only spoken like this, about that twisted fat blob, before all of them, from work had really played upon my feelings over Matt!  As, well as, it was when I found out, that it was an on-off relationship once again, through those that worked at Wackys!  Then, rather a real and true relationship!  But, just before that huge, fat-trollop had threaten me at work on that day, I had noticed Matt had also came wondering into work!  Which, while he had, had noticed he was truly giving me one hell of a horrible, angry, moody look!  A look that really had made poor me feel, that he was trying to say, I don't like you Sandy!  Which to be perfectly frank!  Had already knew what Matt had totally felt for me!  

 But as I felt I couldn't stay now, knowing that the guy, that I loved was right in front of me or just simply around me, went wondering into the back to hide myself away!  Not because of how I was feeling for him!  But who, after coming back out from the staff-room door to carry on with my work!  Had discovered that nasty fat-trollop of his, had showed her true colours to me!  Because, after waddling her very humongous, big, fat body, towards me, with her pram, said, by looking straight at me, "I had three phone-calls, that had wanted to speak to Matt!  Who had then, continued, with her huge enormous gob, "how they were also friends of Sandy's!  Which after thinking, so! She more then less, had lashed out to me!  By saying, "if I ever hear that you had been talking to Matt!  "Or even go nearer to him!  As well as, "touch him!  "Well, I will send the Police out, onto you!  

 Which, she ended up, looking down at their newly-born sex-object!  Saying, "course, look what I've done!  "As, Matt as now got responsibilities!  Which, showed that bloody bitch had certainly played a right dirty game, to trap him down!  So, she wouldn't allow him out of her sight for good!  So, because of all this!  Matt had ended up marrying her!  Course of how she had trapped him all those years ago, by not only having one or two sex-objects!  But who had ended up having those three filthy sex-objects!  And even though, those that knew him from Wackys had said, it was all an on-off relationship, then a who's in a proper relationship!  As, you really couldn't miss them both!  Even if one tried!  You just couldn't miss that humungous fat blob of hers!  Going blob-de-blob!  Blob!  And more blob!  Blob!  Course, of trying to walk that deformed, fat, huge body around while she was with him!  As, she looked-like she had a twisted huge, fat face also!  

 But who later on!  Had decided to play yet, another dirty rotten game!  Yes!  That's right!  That humungous, fat body of hers that I can only describe, better known as, the Blob from a old  film, that had starred the great, well-known, Actor, Steve McQueen had told Matt, that she was "up the dove" for the fourth time!  Yes!  That's right!  For the fourth bloody time!  Meaning, of course, she was fucking pregnant!  And all this, was probably down to thinking, did she do all this because of thinking Matt had liked someone else!  

 And like always!  From what she had gone and done in the past, when she had probably thought I was after him!  Which, why would I want to!  Hey!  Being that the way he was  towards me!  Acting so horrible!  Plus, who had a terrifying look, that I wouldn't like in any person, anyway!  Nasty!  Mean-looking!  With an extremely horrible, angry moody look about him!  No!  I flaming wouldn't!  As, well as, I wouldn't, for getting that fat, humongous, blob of his, aka his fat trollop getting herself "up the dove!  

 I mean!  Even though, how much I really love Matt, as I still do now, in the year 2023!  I would never thought, for one minute going back then, that I really wanted him!  Him of all people, for myself in a romantic way!  Why!  Course, that's not in my nature to say, "oh, Matt!  "I want you!  Like a particle, jealous bimbo!  Such as herself!  That great, enormous, fat trollop of his!  Course, once again!  The guy wasn't at all nice to me!  Even though, he might have thought he was!  He was not!  Not like that I once imagined in a guy!  Shy!  But who was extremely so very nice and that would make me laugh!  

 And secondly!  Secondly!  It was that Matt had only wanted any girls for sex!  Then, for like myself, who wouldn't!  Because as I still loves to just think of meeting someone that's just thinking as I do!  Being an old fashion romantic!  As, I'm not someone that would say to herself, "I want you Matt!  Or, "I need you!  Like some pathetic, spoilt, selfish bimbo, once again!  Who was even like the Creature from the Bottomless-Pit!  Or some Creature from The Black Lagoon of Matts!  Had truly always behaved, when they were around him!  With it's fat twisted miserable-face of hers!  Even if they tried to smile, just couldn't!  

Because of looking like a miserable old Sag!  Which, don't forget, the name, The huge, humongous fat trollop as that is what they are more well-known, of around here now!  If one does see, around the Redditch Kingfisher Centre!  Not forgetting, the name The Blob either!  As they had showed that they were the kind that was trying to get what they wanted!  By tying that so-call person, down, "which of course, is Matt!  Because of now thinking of what she done, well you or anyone else, can't have him!  Course, look what I've now gone and done to him!  Hey!  Just look!  As, my humongous, fat, large, blob "of a body," is now pregnant yet again! 

 Which, for the way, they kept going on and way back then, always going on and off with each other, well like I was told!  And told by my friends from Wackys!   Whatever that humongous fat trollop had truly gone and done, well if anyone could see also, what that fat bimbo had done!  Would also, probably agree, that isn't a human child from a "real, true love relationship!  But!  But what was from that coming and going from sex just sex!  Which, all of those filthy three kids of theirs yet, again was not!  Not through a real relationship!  So, instead, of saying children, it  was their sex-objects!  Course, of the way, they were truly going out together way back then, on but then off!  Over and over, for just pure having sex!  And not like a serious relationship!  

 Course, once again, I didn't even think for one minute, that I wanted Matt for myself!  No way!  But, what I do believe is, what Karma goes around, it will sure come back to them!  So, even though, it takes two, for a relationship to work out!  Well, like I was always told then, by those that knew him around, had always said, "it's only Matt, that thinks, in his head, that it's a relationship!  As well as, mentioning, "course, you can't say it is a relationship!  But, only  sex! "Sex!  And more bloody sex that he's with!  

 Not forgetting, they also, said, "course, would you call a relationship, that's always, on off going-like?  "Well would you Sandy?"  Which, like anyone would, if their not so fickle or stupid, like how Matt and his humongous, Fat, bitter twisted Trollop were together, back then!  And who knows!  Probably still are, until this day onwards!  Agreed with them, that, "yes!  "That isn't a relationship!  "But, like as you said, must be just for sex, sex and more bloody sex!  As Matt did act like that!  So, if I was asked, now, what I would have to say to Matt!  Well it would have to be, "ha! "Bloody ha, ha, to you, Matt," "wherever you may be!  Course, like I mention, what karma goes around, must have come right back to you, for the way, how Matt had truly hurt me, all those years back.  

 Not to mention though, Matt, maybe fickle or stupid, if he hasn't worked this one out, already!  Course, who may have a serious problem with her, if he knew, what Sandy knew of what his so-call Bimbo of a wife, had seriously done, behind his bloody back!  If and only, if they had separated or parted yet again, like always!  Before, maybe going back to Matt and possibility reconvening that great big idiot, back then, that her huge, fat blob of a body is expecting a Filthy Spog!  

 Which, it was in their case, as we all knew!  Course, I very much doubt, that those that was his mates or family, would say, "but, it's not!  It's a human Child!  Though, if they only knew, like how a lot of us did, from out of work-wise!  As, it was plainly sick, to even imagine that Matt was like that!  But, yes!  Some of us had knew he was like that!  With his bitter, yet twisted, deformed, repulsive, blonde girlfriend!  Who was that fat trollop even then, for just having sex!  Sex!  And more flaming sex!  Then rather going out with that special someone, in the right way!      

 Anyway, some years back now, while Sandy aka myself was just minding my own bloody business, just walking towards W.H SMITHS,  had not only noticed that  "humongous, Fat, Trollop" was walking so slowing towards me, wearing dark glasses!  But who wasn't with her hideous, Ancient, Prehistoric, old hag, of a "Dinosaur Mother" that does look so bitter and very twisted, if anyone knew of her!    Nor was she either, walking with one of their trashy sex-objects that she had ended up saying to Matt, "I'm up the dove, over and over again-wise!  Why, no!   And as for thinking, well was she walking with Matt!  Well, the answer to that is, hell no!  She was not with my gorgeous brown eyes!  That had always had sent me feeling shivers down my spine!  And well, you should know the rest!    But saying that weather it could have been Matt!  Well, far from it!  Course, what I had noticed, while walking past W.H SMITHS was seeing her, holding hands with some tall, wimpy, but lanky guy, that had dark, wavy short hair! 

 Which, all that I could basically, think of at that present time, was, you fucking Bitch, you!  Course, you can't hide from me!  By trying to hide that ugly look of yours, behind those glasses of yours, smirking away!  But, how could you, go behind Matts back like this!  How!  And who had I had truly thought, how could you!  Just how could you, hurt poor Matt like this!  Course, of  imagining him, possibly finding out that his fat trollop could have had a secret affair, before, maybe, going straight back to Matt, like you guys, normally acted in the past!  But also just feeling for how Matt would really react to all this whenever finding that out!  As, he would be distraught!  Hurt!  As, well as, possibly feeling dam well, humiliated, by how she had truly went behind his back and maybe having sex with yet, another!  Which, in some ways,  if he could have looked back to how he treated me!  Known of what he had done to me!   

 Which, even though, I could have been wrong, about thinking she was having affair behind Matts back, with this slightly tall, but "skinny-lanky" guy!  Who did have the same hair colour that Matt had, then!  Well let's just say that later on, that fat trollop of Matts, showed up around in the Redditch Kingfisher Centre, with yet, another "sex-object!  Who I couldn't help but wonder was this one, Matts?  Or Not!  As, I had thought, I wouldn't at all surprised, that, that won't be Matts sex-object!  Because of that time of seeing her walking past "W.H SMITH" as she did!  Holding hands with somebody else, then Matt, smiling!  

 Though, as for myself now!  Well, let me say, I'm now enjoying my life, like my dad had so wanted me to, before he had sadly past away, in 2008.  Which, after thinking to myself, back then, that after Matt departure from our work, now lost my beloved dad!  Who not only loved him so very much!  But who knew how I truly felt for Matt!  So, the way I was feeling had not only made me feel I've lost yet, another important person in my life!  Though, the difference was between them, was Matt was really someone that I now love forever!  Even though, I felt I allowed him to go his own way, due to these emotions I've never had in my entire life!  And as for my dad!  Well, being so very close to my dad, had took his death, bad!    

 And even though, I do still very much love Matt, weather he's here or not, I will always love him!  Course, my feelings is not like any other that would turn on and then off! As, my feelings are genuine!  Not who would allow someone to treat someone like how his  fat-trollop had!  Course, my feelings have got more and more stronger, throughout these fifteen years, for him!  Then, rather Luke Wilson!  Who, like you Matt, did think I could be in love with!  Because of reminding me of Matt!   And you only Matt!  Course, it was those dam eyes of Luke's!  That had always, always had made me thought of you, my darling, Matt!  Because of somehow used to look deeply into your dreamy dark, melting eyes!  You!  And no one else!  As, you have eyes that would make me feel like you could definitely hypnotise me, in an instance!  

 But, getting back to what if myself and Matt would once again, cross paths after all these years or just simply bump into one another!  Well, let me tell you, I can't see that from ever happening!  Because of how I'm sure he's still married!  Married, to that Creature of the Bottle-less-Pit!  Or!  Or that Creature from the Black Lagoon!  As well as, after playing a very dirty game, to trap Matt from living his own life and making his mistakes!  Like having loads of trashy sex-objects from her humongous, fat body by him!  Course, I like nice guys!  Really, nice guys, and not someone that just want sex!  Instead, that is of someone, that from my past, had truly acted like "Mr Hyde" from Jekyll and Hyde towards me!  Which of course, Matt was honestly like towards myself!  Not forgetting, if he had disliked me then, when I knew him, well then, why would I wanna ever see him again!  Course, I'm certainly not allowing anyone like himself, to hurt my feeling all over again, by first, giving this girl, a look that could be a very moody-angry look!      

 Anyway, it was more when I said secondly, it was having bloody loads of trashy sex-objects from that blob that we call a body!  As that was what they all are, you know!  Bloody sex-objects of theirs!  Not, children!  Because like I was always told, from those, that knew Matt around work, those many years ago, but I'm not talking of those measly, freakly "barstards," that was so friendly with Matt from work!  Why, no!  It was those that simply knew of him from out of work!  That always said, "hey, Sandy, would you call, anybody that thought that they were in a relationship, but going out with someone, in an on and of relationship?  A relationship?  As well as, telling me, "like Matt that really believed he's in!  

 So, anyway!  If anyone and I do mean, absolutely anyone, stumble upon that great humongous, fat, but twisted Trollop, going around the Kingfisher area, in the Redditch Town Centre!  Then, you will not unfortunately, seen Matt's wifie!  But, who as sometimes, just sometimes seen her around with either, one of their sex-objects!  Whatever, you want to look at it!  Because sometimes, that hideous creature, "The Creature from the Black Lagoon" goes around with her hideous, deformed mother!  Who may I had, is a very ugly, wrinkly, decrepit old hag!  That truly looks more and more like a "Dinosaur" then, anything else!  And yes!  That's right!  A hideous Dinosaur!     

 But, whose Mother, is most definitely looked so alike a very hideous, Prehistoric, Decrepit, old Ancient Dinosaur!  That as you know, were around, those millions of billions years ago, before the cave men had appeared!  But, who frankly, should have been bombed by one of those Asteroid, like it had, with all the rest of them, that got extinct back then!  Then, rather those Asteroids missing that dam, "decrepit old hag, of a Dinosaur," as it did!  Which, I feel sorry for those, if any that had came across that Prehistoric, Old Hag, that I could describe "that last ever Dinosaur!  Who is looked so bitter, twisted and deformed if you saw the hideous Mother, of  that fat, humongous trollop of Matt!  Going into The Muffin Break Coffee Shop in the Redditch, Kingfisher Centre with either Matts fat trollop, of a wife!  Or going in, with maybe one or two of their dirty sex-objects!    

 Not forgetting, though, at times, that very Old, Decrepit, Ancient, Dinosaur, of that fat trollop that should have been Shot long ago!  As, well as, bombed!  As, I just mentioned!  At times, goes into Muffin Break on their own, trying to sit down where no one else, could see them, closer to that Next clothes shop, at the far, far back!  But unfortunately, for everyone of their customers, can't hide from their hideous, twisted, deformed plus, their revolting small bodies!  With their short yellowish mangy hair and a face, that by-god, if anyone sees them, wants to really puke!  And I certainly do mean, Puke!  Even when that "Dinosaur" try's to put smile to anyone around!  Why!  I wouldn't even be at all surprised, that, that miserable "Ancient Dinosaur" could be flaming linked to our "Nessie," "The Loch Ness Monster!  That only rather appears from the loch in Scotland, that's if it does exist or not!  But if it does!  Well the Mother of that "humorous fat trollop" that she's well-known around more in Redditch, really could be related to our "Nessie!  Being, the "Prehistoric Monster!  

*** Though, getting back of meeting Matt, after all these year!  Well, yes!  It would be just so strange!  But as I'm more realistic, can't ever see that from ever happening!  Only, imaging it!  If we had!  Like just what if we did?  But, there again, would I want to!  Or not yet again?  Course, now, I'm a dreamer, yes, a real dreamer, not someone who's so bloody desperate, for looking for a guy, because, as I'm a total, old fashion, romantic person, that believes that true love, takes a hell of a long time to start between two people who may love each other.  Then rather just meeting anyone, then either start going out with them or having sex, which I'm not like that at all!     

 There again, if I did bump into Matt, after all these years, well, really I don't know what would truly happen?  Only, maybe guess that the guy hasn't probably changed, course of knowing how Matt disliked me, way back then.   And not to mention, he had joined in with the rest of those measly Barstards from work, to play upon my feeling over him, so all those hopes and dreams, that I once had of dreaming, as now all been shattered!  

 As I can't believe in that phrase, there's always someone out there!  Or that, I will meet someone nice, because of how I truly feel for Matt deeply!  So, instead, now I just think to myself, oh!  If only, I can meet, Luke Wilson, in person?  If only?  Then, rather, imagining seeing Matt again, course, with Luke, well, first of all, the Actor, just wouldn't know of why I truly love him so much!  

 *And secondly, with Luke Wilson well, I know I wouldn't run away from him, like how I did when noticing Matt was around!  Because of how I was truly feeling, when he just couldn't help himself, by knocking this girl down, by allowing me to just gaze into those deepest, darkest brown eyes of his, whenever he was always around.  Not forgetting, his lovely and sexy smile, And oh boy!  Could Matt certainly hypnotise me on the spot, but who I always ended up blushing right in front of him.  Which to be perfectly frank, was bloody worth it, if I have to admit it to myself!

 But, for watching any of Luke Wilsons Films, especially, The Family Stone, which I love more, had always somehow, reminded me, of looking straight into Matts, adorable big brown eyes!  So, Matt, wherever you are, thanks, for allowing this girl to not just have those feelings, that I did, but who I still do for you, course, I'm not like anyone you had met then!  But, who, whenever I would see any of those Luke Wilson, DVD's especially, that film, The Family Stone, could now truly imagine that I've got that very same feelings, as I do for Matt!  

 As, I truly believed back then, that after Matt had sadly left our work and then, shortly after, coming across to the very first DVD of Luke Wilson well, I not only felt that was so bloody uncanny, of how I did come cross this Actor, right there and then.  But who thought, it was like a sign for yours truly to say, "well, Sandy, maybe you should start to dream of loving this Actor!  Because of whom he truly resembles me of!  So, again Matt!  Wherever you maybe now, my brown eyes, thanks darling!  Just thanks, for just allowing this girl to now be hopeless in love, with not only one person!  But two!  "Which is Matt and that Actor, Luke Wilson!  

 Only, this girl really does feel like she will only love the one forever and ever!  Then, her fantasy dream guy, Luke Wilson!  And that's you Matt!  So, wherever you may be, my darling, I sure truly am in love with you Matt!  "Really I am!  "I love you!  "I love  you!  "And love you!  Just remember that, my darling, if you ever do come across in reading this!  Course, no matter what you had always thought of me, even maybe now Matt!  Yours truly can never forget you in a hurry!  Never!  Never!  And never!  And I don't think I would ever want to!  Who's the only one that had ever made this girl go all weak in her knees and having butterflies in her stomach, whenever she had always saw you around!  So, either, come back to me!  Or!  Or Matt, wherever you are, please come back out and play with Me! Please!  Please!  And please!  Course, you should know, by now, how I love you so very much!!!

 So, first of all, my darling!  Let me just leave you with...

 "Brown Eyes!  "Brown  Eyes!  "Where for are you, my Brown Eyes???   

Course, secondly!  "Help!  I need somebody!  "Help!  "Not just anybody!  "Help!  "I need somebody!  "And oh Brown Eyes, that's you!  And no one else!  

So, thank you my darling, Matt wherever you may be!  Course, for giving me that gift!  A gift that no other as ever done to me...  Which, was falling heads over heels in love with you Matt and no one else!  

 Only, when you had left, it really tore my whole world apart!  Really you did, my darling!  And that's no joke!  Because when you left our old work-place, those many years back, you took something from me!  Which not only as you know, left me crying over you for two and a half years!!!  But!  But you had left a very huge gap, where my heart was!  As, that's how much I love you Matt!  You truly left a very huge gap, where my heart was!  So, Matt I want you to come back into my life again!  Course, boy!  Am I missing you, terribly!   

 Only, if you do come waltzing back into my life again, well just for god sake Smile!  Not looking up slightly, with a very moody expression upon your face!   

Only, just please, please try to start to smile!  And I do mean, start to really smile, if I do notice yea!  Then, looking as you normally do!  Very Moody!  With an angry look upon your face!  Plus!  Think about growing your lovely hair back to how it was!  Short and fairly spiky hair!  Then, having a hideous cropped hair!

 Though, I don't wanna ever want to think of anyone in that way, in romantic-wise, if they got a top nosh job!  Course, I've never been like that!  Going for guys, that could be loaded!  No-sir-re!  For I'm just someone that still loves, loves to dream of meeting that someone!  That if they do exist, with just having normal job!  As well as, who as got to have the the most adorable smile ever!  Not forgetting, eyes that had left me while always thinking of him, burning into my mind!   Because of knocking this girl way into orbit and back, when he had used to be around!  Looking as he had!   With that mazing powerful, melting captivating eyes of his!  And who as a very lovely smile, that at times, looked-like he was slightly shy, like myself!  Plus, who had looked slightly board to me, then, being big!  Though, because of Matt, I do like guys now, with short spiky hair!  Not cropped!  But, short and spiky!!!

And even though, I wanted to dedicate this book of mine to my beloved dad, who not only knew how I deeply felt for Matt!  But who was the one that had told me to write this!  I would like to somehow, dedicate part of this, to Matt!

x x x x        



                                                         THE END

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