Wednesday, 5 January 2000

Playing Games - Chapter 34


 Chapter 34



                                                                THE TIME

                          AFTER MATT CAME WONDERING IN OUR WORK  

                             BUT WHO ENDED UPSETTING YOURS  TRULY!   

 Now, when we had one of our bad winters, but who was working, well, first of all when I had arrived at work as always, to start and then, after coming back out from the back, well to my surprise on this day, had suddenly noticed him, my (Brown Eyes), Matt as I always think of him, talking away as always, to both "Wednesday" aka Bobby and Cilla at the front and who after seeing me, coming out from the back, cried out to me, “hi, Sandy."  With a huge smile upon his face, but which to my response, all that I could do, was quickly turn my back just slightly, pretending that I’ve forgotten something in the back.  

 Or that I was going to put some rubbish in the bin, since I couldn’t go near the front whilst knowing he was there.  Not to mention, it was mostly down to myself, of being totally shy, whenever I saw him around as well as he was looking at me.  And even though, I didn’t really want too, because I didn’t, well after nipping into the back course, of knowing was Matt was here, as you know, well just knew that I really had to get back out at some point. 

 Only, when I had and then quietly tried to wonder around the back, like a complete idiot, thinking if he was here well I was hoping he wouldn’t see me.   But unfortunately, for me, he had, which wasn't bad, only, no sooner then I tried to look and see if he was still around and noticed he was, still talking to both of them, well shortly after seeing him wondering slowly towards me, well I must confess I had got a little nervous and hoped my knees just wouldn’t start to tremble a little, as it usually does when I see him.

  Only, after saying a few words to him like, “hello," "how have you been?" In a shy way, well what Matt just couldn't help himself, in saying to me, had hurt my feelings, while I thought, that what I did, was only trying to do a lovely thing.   As Matt, surely must have known that what he just said, had really hurt me so.  Course, the real reason, of why I secretly wanted to do this, was that on that very year, it was the Anniversary of first year, since my beloved Dad, had past away, so, I simply wanted to cheer myself up, by secretly passing a Valentine Card over to someone that I knew, to pass onto Matt. 

 But, all that I can say on that was, he really should have known better, before saying what he had to me.  Because at the time, all I could think of was, the guy, just didn't have any remorse or feelings, what so ever, before saying what he had, after he wondered down with a smirk on his face towards me, from "Pencil-stick Wednesday" aka Bobby and opened his mouth about that Valentine Card that I had secretly passed on

  But, no sooner that Matt had more then less, shouted his flaming gob off to me, about that Valentine Card, as well as trying to ask me, "did you send him a Valentine Card Sandy?"  With "that piece of "charcoal-stick Wednesday," by his side, well, I just didn’t know what to say, or rather thought, course, all that came to mind was, 'oh!  'Why, did you have to spoil this moment for me, Matt?  'Why?  I quickly turned, quietly and said, "I'm always nice to you though, Matt," and then went straight in the back, because of what Matt had said, should have known it would have either really upset me so.  Or just hurt my feelings altogether, as, even himself, had sometimes, acted like a complete Barstard!  If only he would think before, opening his enormous wide gob, but, there again, instead, of having a brain, Matt must have had a blooming small Pea, in his huge head! 

 Now, after I opened the back door, to the staff-room and passed the staff-room door seeing Cilla was sitting down having her lunch, I went straight to the toilets and started to cry.  Wondering to myself, what have I done, that was so wrong?  Then, without a doubt, thought, but, I didn't do nothing wrong!  Suddenly, not only heard the door to the back, open, but also, hearing Bobby quietly said to Cilla, "Matt had a right go at Sandy."  Which, to her reply, came out, "Matt, loves her."

 So, after coming back out from the back, Matt had gone, which part of me had felt again, why did he have to be so nasty to me?  Why?  Hey!  Just tell me that!  Because even though I act in away, that I did when I saw him, must confess that it was really lovely to still see him, course, of having the chance to just gaze into those deep, darkest brown eyes of his.  I mean, you would have to see him to know of what I was truly talking about!  But still, for him to simply bring up what he said, into the conversation, was so hurtful nevertheless, for why he couldn’t have just simply not speak of that, while he was around me.  

 Because, if Matt didn’t mention what he had, then I know I would have stayed, still gazing into those adorable eyes of his.  That flaming "Hyde" that he like to act, with only myself, which was being nasty!  Though, I had wondered, at times, if I didn't have those emotions running wild, for Matt, because of how those other complete Barstards from work, including himself, mind you, was definitely playing upon my feelings then!  Then, I would think, if I had the guts to do so, then this girl Sandy, would have definitely given Matt a good seeing to where the sun don't flaming shine!   

 Anyway, shortly after I had mentioned to Bobby of "how I wish Matt could come back,” well, what do you think that happened?  But Matt came wondering back into our work, making out that he had simply forgotten something because of how he wondered in looking at Cilla and Bobby with a smile.  But, for some reason, I once again, sort of backed away, just slightly from him, as I saw him finally coming my way, not because I wanted two, but, I truly believed that it could have been my feelings for the guy that was really stopping me for being brave enough, as I thought, I was okay to stick around!

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