Wednesday, 5 January 2000

Playing Games - Chapter 32



Chapter 32


                                                                THE TIME

                                       THAT I QUIETLY WENT OVER TO SEE 

                                       MATT TO WISH HIM HAPPY BIRTHAY

                                                             AS WELL AS

                                       HOW IT WAS WHEN I SO WANTED TO 

                                   GIVE THAT BOBBY A GOOD LEFT HOOK!

 Now, early one day while waiting for Bobby or that Barbie doll aka Cilla to come, so they would open the shop, noticed him, Matt was looking slightly but was also, trying to hide himself, while his shop had also opened!  As he seemed to be glancing over at my direction, giving me that nice look, as if I couldn’t tell of whether he was smiling or not!  So, throughout this day, especially even though, I felt I wanted too, part of me had also felt, but should I?  Because of feeling well we are not exactly friends!  

 As what I wanted to do was to pop into his work for a moment, straight after work, to wish the guy a very Happy Birthday as his birthday was in two days away, not to mention that his birthday is over the weekend.  So when I had finally finished, without saying a word to either Bobby or Cilla, because of knowing them, as well as they could have tried to stop me, slowly walked towards Matt’s work still thinking to myself, should I really do this?  Because of knowing how the guy had always made me felt whenever I got so close to him.

 So, no sooner then I entered that, I saw Matt was coming my way he looked as if he didn’t know of why I came wondering into see him but still, I did well when we approached each other I did say, very shy-like, “hi, Matt!  Which after he responded back, did make out by his body language that what are you doing here?  Which after saying I’ve only come to wish you, “Happy Birthday Matt!  Which he smiled.  Then who had occasionally turned just slightly to his work colleagues, still smiling mind you then who turned back to me.

 Only, shortly after I tried to speak more, still quietly to him, did mention if you knew or heard about our shop in Merry-Hill?  “As it’s was closing down.”  Which Deek was working at the time, but which Matt replied, “no!  “I didn’t,"  Then after trying to tell him, “yes it is!  Because, I think I was deep down, only trying to stall more time in trying to being around his side, because I didn’t want to go.  

But before leaving Matt, what I do remember in saying once again, was, “well just have a lovely birthday Matt."  Only, as I continued on saying, “just please try not to drink too much with your mates when you do have your party."  When I then, ended on saying, “but I’m not saying don’t drink or enjoy yourself  Matt, just please try not to drink so much, because you don’t want to have a bad hangover now, now do you Matt?"  Because of the times you had ended up feeling so bad!

 Which you should have seen him, when I said that as it was like he was showing me a little side of him that was shy, as well as, trying to tell me without saying it out loud, “Aww!  “That’s nice!  So, once again, I wished him, "Happy Birthday" as well as, just ask him to try not to over do it by drinking, when it comes to your party!  Which was when I left him, but still feeling like if only we go on like friends as I  wanted to feel like if only I could just go up so close to him without feeling the way I do for him. 

 Though, the following day as I went into work as usual the first thing I noticed was that awful "plastic dolly" aka Cilla, giving me the most unusual smile as if she was trying to say I know something you don’t!  Which I did find a bit to strange nevertheless!  Although, my theory was, could Matt have let the guys know about my unexpected visit from yesterday, to just wish him a Happy Birthday? 

 Not to mention, how he should just watch that he doesn’t over do it, by drinking, because of how he always ends up of getting himself ill shortly after!  But sadly for me, things changed when Bobby had came suddenly rushing in from her break, shouting her horrible little mouth off to Cilla, who at the time, was working so near to me, about some news of Matt.  Which, while trying to carry on with my work, Bobby then, turned just slightly around towards me, with a smirk on her face and said out loud, “what have you got a problem Sandy?"  Knowing full well, that maybe the news of Matt, would hurt my feelings as it did, but who just wanted to see how I would react to this news, while she kept talking about it over and over again to Cilla, still mind you, who was looking at me, slightly.  Which, all that came to mind then, was, 'you, fucking Bitch, you, course, you know, like everyone, that I love Matt so much!  Why! I even felt like giving that bony face of Wednesday aka Bobby, a good left hook! 

 Which, by my end of my shift had decided to go the other way, then my usual way, as I normally would have, course, of passing his work.  Because whether I was entitled to or not, this news of Matt had hurt my feelings, course, Bobby had wanted to make out, if I had some kind of problem with it!  Can say that did really hurt my feelings as I felt like someone had stuck a knife in me and twisted it!  As that was how I truly felt after listening to that "bony-flesh-face of Bobby, about how she had truly mentioned the news of Matt’s.  Who I still wanted to give her a blooming good left hook, then rather giving her a bloody good slap across her plain face. 

 After finishing, instead of going out my usual way, went the other way, with my head slightly down, because of how I truly felt, as well as, I felt in any minute, tears was going to suddenly appear.  So, after going around past the small, but dreary Costas Coffee Shop, I  ended up going in my usual coffee shop at the centre around the shops, feeling like that my heart was truly now broken into two, as well as, feeling a tear was appearing upon my cheek.  Because for me this news was the worst that I could ever hear about Matt, whatever they may all think from work, of this news this was definitely the worst sort of news of Matt, then knowing he was leaving, when he had back then, which I also, took it hard!

 But no!  It wasn’t like he had ended up being ill or that he had ended up in hospital either, thank god!  It was just something that had really hurt my feelings after hearing that Bitch, Bobby of shouting out loud to Cilla over and over like she could have enjoyed doing so, but who was trying not to show their emotions because of a tear that was starting to show.  Only, if you must know part of me just couldn’t help feeling, was I allowed to feel like this about the guy?  Because, it’s not as if we got on like friends even though, at first, when I knew him, had so wanted too, something still told me to just forget it!

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