Wednesday 5 January 2000

Playing Games - Chapter 32



Chapter 32


                                                                THE TIME

                                       THAT I QUIETLY WENT OVER TO SEE 

                                       MATT TO WISH HIM HAPPY BIRTHAY

                                                             AS WELL AS

                                       HOW IT WAS WHEN I SO WANTED TO 

                                   GIVE THAT BOBBY A GOOD LEFT HOOK!

 Now, early one day, while waiting for Bobby or that Barbie doll aka Cilla to come, so they would open the shop!  Had noticed from the corner of my eye, Matt!  As he was looking slightly, but who was also, trying to hide himself, while his shop wasn't opened!  Towards my direction!  By giving me a nice look!  As, if I couldn’t tell of whether he was smiling or not!  So, throughout this day, even though, I felt I wanted to or not?  Give my darling, a smile!  Course, part of me had felt, but should I?  Because of feeling, well we are not exactly friends!  

 As what I wanted to do!  Was pop into his work later, after I had finished work to wish the guy a very Happy Birthday!  As his birthday was in two days away!  Not to mention, that his birthday is over the weekend!  So, when I had finally finished!  Without saying a word to either, Bobby or Cilla, because of knowing them!  As well as, they could have tried to stop me!  Slowly walked towards Matt’s work, still thinking to myself?  Should I really do this?  Because of knowing how the guy had always made me felt, whenever I got so close to him!

 So, no sooner then I entered!  That, I saw Matt was coming my way!  He looked as if he didn’t know of why I came wondering into his work to see him!  But, when we approached each other, I had said in a very shy-like, voice, “hi, Matt!  Which after he responded had made me feel that even his body language was trying to say, what are you doing here?  Which, after saying, "I’ve only come to wish you, Happy Birthday Matt!  Smiled!  Then, who had occasionally turned just slightly to his work colleagues!  Still smiling, mind you!  Then who turned back to me.

Only, shortly after, I tried to speak more to him! But in a quiet tone, I did also mention, to him, "if you knew or heard about our shop in Merry-Hill?"  “As it’s closing down!  Which Deek was working in at that time!  But which Matt replied, “no!  “I didn’t!  Then, after trying to tell him, “yes it is!  I think I was deep down, only trying to stall more time in trying to being around his side!  Because I tell yeah now, I sure didn’t want to go!  

 But before leaving Matt!  What I do remember in saying once again, was, “well, just have a lovely birthday Matt!  Only, as I continued on saying, “just please try not to drink too much with your mates when you do have your party!  When I then, ended on saying, “but I’m not saying don’t drink or enjoy yourself  Matt!  "Just please try not to drink so much, because you don’t want to have a bad hangover now!  "Now, do you Matt?"  "Because you will end up feeling so bad!

 Which you should have seen him, when I said that!  As it was like he was showing me a little side of him, that was shy!  As well as, trying to tell me, without saying it out loud, “Aww!  That’s nice!  So, once again, I had wished my darling, Happy Birthday!  As well as, just ask him to try not to over do it, by drinking, when it comes to your party!  Which was when I left him!  But had still felt like, if only we could have been like friends, as I wanted to!  Then, feeling like I couldn't really go up to him so close, without feeling the way I do for him! 

 Though, the following day, as I went into work as usual, the first thing I noticed was that awful plastic dolly aka Cilla, giving me the most unusual smile as if she was trying to say I know something you don’t!  Which I did find a bit to strange nevertheless!  Although, my theory was, could Matt have let the guys know about my unexpected visit from yesterday, to just wish him a Happy Birthday?  Well could he? 

 Not to mention, once again, how he should just watch that he doesn’t over do it, by drinking!  Because of how he always ends up of getting himself ill shortly after!  But sadly for me, things changed when Bobby had came suddenly rushing in from her break! Shouting from her horrible twisted little mouth to Cilla, who at the time, was working so near to me, about some news of Matt!  Which, while trying to carry on with my work, Bobby then, turned just slightly around towards me, with a smirk on her face!  And said out loud, “what have you got a problem Sandy?"  

 Knowing full well, that maybe that news of Matt, would hurt my feelings!  Which it had! But who just wanted to see how I would react to it!  Only, while she had kept on talking over and over again to Cilla about it, had still mind you, was looking at me, slightly!  Which, all that came to mind then, was, you fucking Bitch, you!  Course, of how you knew, like everyone, that I was in love with Matt so much!  Why! I even felt like giving that bony face of Wednesday aka Bobby, a bloody good left hook! 

 So, at the end of my shift, I just couldn't help deciding to go the other way, then my usual way!  Because I would have had to pass his work!  Which, whether I was entitled or not, this news of Matt had hurt deeply my feelings!  Course, of the way, Bobby had wanted to make out, if I had some kind of problem with it!   Why, you could say I felt like someone had stuck a knife in the back me and twisted it!  As that was how I truly felt, after listening to that bony-flesh-bitch aka Bobby!  About how she had truly mentioned that news about Matt’s once again!  Who I still wanted to give her a blooming good left hook, then rather giving her a bloody good slap across her skinny, plain face! 

 So, after finishing, instead of going my usual way, I went the other way, with my head slightly down!  Because of how I truly felt!  As well as, I felt, in any minute, tears was going to suddenly appear!  So, after going around past the small, but dreary Costas Coffee Shop, I  ended up going in my usual coffee shop!  Feeling like that my heart was truly now broken into two, as well as, feeling a tear was appearing upon my cheek!  Because for me this news was the worst that I could ever hear about Matt, whatever they may all think from work!  This news this was definitely the worst sort of news of Matt, then knowing he was leaving, when he had, back then!  Which if you remember, I also, took it hard!

 But no!  It wasn’t like he had ended up being ill or that he had ended up in hospital either, thank god!  It was just something that had really hurt my feelings so deeply!   Especially,  hearing that Bitch aka Bobby was shouting her small twisted little mouth out loud to Cilla over and over, like she could have enjoyed of doing so!  But who was trying not to show their emotions, because of a tear that was starting to show!  Only, if you must know, part of me just couldn’t help feeling like I was allowed to feel like this about the guy?  Because, it’s not as if we got on like friends!  Even though, at first when I knew him, had so wanted two, something still told me to just forget it!

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