Wednesday, 5 January 2000

Playing Games - Chapter 37


  Chapter 37


                                                                THE TIME

                              I COULD HAVE NEEDED MATT TO ME CHEERED UP!

 Now, if I mentioned it what happened around this time well let me tell you about it because what happened was on the very same year that my dad died, but it was coming up to the first Christmas of not having him around well we as the family had heard some disturbing news about someone we knew, but who as a small child had the most biggest crush.  Which I had thought I needed to be cheered up straight away, so cheered, that I thought I was doing!  Only, no sooner then I had thought I cheered myself up that Deek who was only visiting us told me, “stop, stoking Matt!  Which to be frank, wouldn’t dream of doing.

 Only, after thinking about it, Matt must have told Deek that what I was doing when I tried to cheer myself up at this time, because of what I did, exactly after hearing about my friends sudden death was going into a small Coffee Shop, that was opposite to Matt’s work.  But, as I went in, made sure I was sort of sitting where I can see him, that's if I could, due to a small exit from this Coffee Shop!  Though, that didn’t mean to say that I kept glancing over to see if I could just see him, or even would have loved too, “no!  As it was just that I really needed to feel like I was closer to my (Brown Eyes) which as you know was Matt to cheer myself up..

 But that doesn’t mean to say that I never tried to look up to see if I could see him whilst I was in there, writing, it was just I never kept glancing over like as if I was mad to see him like, which he had made out that, that was what I was doing.  While I was in there writing away, as usual, well after something had told me to look up slightly again, saw one of his work colleagues go over to the far corner, which after a short time had saw Matt reappear with the most biggest grin upon his face. 

 But who then, decided to stand over with his arm leaning against one side of the desk talking to his colleague, while at the same time, had occasionally kept glancing over to where I was sitting again, in that Coffee Shop.  So, really it was Matt, that had kept looking straight at me and not the other way round, as I’m sure he had made it out to be to Deek when he must have meant by saying to me, “stop," "stoking Matt!  As well as, you must have known the other reason, of why I couldn’t continue in writing, while I was in there, was of the way Matt had kept glancing over to my direction.  And probably even more so after I saw him leaning against that very same desktop, the way he had before talking to one of his colleague, because occasionally of him glancing over to me with a smile.

 And well being a romantic as I am not only made my ,imagination run a little wild, by first thinking how it was funny to actually see Matt really showing his presents once again because as he could have carried on with his work but no!  He didn’t!  And secondly, it was definitely the way he was when I saw him leaning his arm against that desktop while at times, he was trying not to show that he was slightly looking at me for sure with a smile.

 Now, if I’m not mistaken, this event could have happened around the same year, but I’m not a hundred per cent certain on that course, of what happened was, as it was drawing more closer to Christmas, well after I only popped into a shop that was like a drug shore to find out about something well who should I discover that came wondering in just minutes after I did?  But Matt!  As it was like unexpected, if you know what I mean!  And yes!  You could say it also, really surprised me, because it sure didn’t look like he had the day off only, wondered in-like.

 Which first I didn’t thought much of as I went my own way to the till, where I could inquire about this item I wanted to find out more about!  Only, after asking about it and then who just waited for them to return with the item, well being yours truly, had moved over just slightly so the rest of the customers could pay for their things then turned round to notice (Brown Eyes) was standing so near to me.  But who wasn’t really looking at me!  Why!  Well I have no idea of why, he wasn’t looking at me, only that he wasn’t!  And yet, even though, he had really made out to me that he did probably wanted two, because of each time I tried to say, “hello,” to him, well, Matt just wouldn’t look at me.  For instead, he looked as if he was looking up in another direction, but who then, gave me the indication that he so wanted two, by the expression that he was giving me as I saw him not only trying not to look, but who was smiling.          

 Which I did actually think, well why, aren’t you looking at me Matt?  “Hey!  Just tell me that! Why?  I mean I did say hello, to you!  But as I thought of this, had suddenly remembered that incident of when Bobby had came dashing into work that day, from her break shouting out loud the news about Matt, from her tiny-twisted gob, to Cilla.  But who nastily turned around, facing me suddenly, at the same time and once again, just couldn't help herself, by opening that decrepit gob of hers, to say, "well, have you got a problem, with that Sandy?"  Which, all I truly wanted to do right there and then, was hit her one!  

  But that wasn’t the main reason of why I had quickly left as I did, after trying to say, “hello,” to Matt, as it was just that it didn’t help the situation that I was in, of noticing Matt in the way he had acted towards me!  And I mean, for not looking at me with those big brown eyes, while I was so near yet, so far, to him which as you know I hadn’t realised until, I had turned around and saw him.  As well as, don’t forget, who was smiling at the same time and which of course, had made this girl feel all shy-like inside of herself.  Not forgetting, who also felt quite confused, in the process because for Matt to make out in a big way, that he was completely ignoring me yet, at the same time, could somehow tell he wanted to get my full attention of him of being there, in front of me.

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